Who The Hell Are You?

Dear Idiotic Stranger to Whom I Have Only the Most Tangental of Tangental Connections -

Perhaps I lost my cool a little when I responded to your extraordinarily stupid idea for our upcoming project for the professional honor organization I’ve been a member of since you were in elementary school. I’ll cop to that. I’ve been known to be short tempered lately, moreso than usual, probably because I’m 9,042 weeks pregnant with twin blue whales and I’m just a smidge uncomfortable. It’s a condition which tends to take a toll on one’s patience when dealing with inconsiderate, unprofessional associates.

But losing my cool only meant that I was blunt in my honesty, not nasty or insulting. And I just re-read what I sent to you (since you’re not familiar with the concept of trimming an e-mail reply) and I’m noting how mild it actually was, considering the depth of idiocy in your feculent, self-serving idea. When I responded, I said nothing about you, and in fact only shared four short sentences about the negative impact that your idea would have on me. I very purposefully followed the “rules of open dialogue about disagreement” by making all of my statements “I” statements. I even refrained from mentioning how your idea would be detrimental to ten additional people, how you violated all rules of professional courtesy by implementing it on your own, and by failing to seek the input of a single one of the affected. In short, I did not make this disagreement personal at all, though I could have.

Nevertheless, you’ve taken it upon yourself to lecture me, and though I don’t know you from Adam and you don’t know me, you’ve told me that you “want me to think” about all the ways in which I was wrong in my response about what I was facing as a result of your hasty, unilaterally imposed concept. You even took the time to carefully and painstakingly enumerate my wrongs at length. Excuse me?

You’re a stranger who is affiliated with the Los Angeles chapter of the group who I never heard of before the 15th of March. I don’t know you, I don’t have any reason to care about you as a person, so I have no reason to go out of my way to insult you “aggrieviously.”

All I cared about then and now was how your actions were going to force me to make a choice between the lesser of two evil options and do work which I am not really physically up to right now. But you decided to take it personally, probably because you’re a 24 year old nitwit with nothing in your life but your work and your own hype – oh yes, I’ve asked around about you, Mr. Tells Everyone Within Five Minutes of Meeting that You Graduated Summa From Yale As If Anyone In a Field of PhDs Is Going to Care About Your Bachelors Degree Five Minutes Later When They Learn That You Haven’t Even Thought About a Masters Program.

And now you think that because you’ve declared yourself to be offended, that gives you free license to lecture and condescend to me, someone who started in this business when you were literally still in diapers? You think that because you’ve whined, that gives your griping some authority over me? You think that your suggestions hold any weight?

You, sir, are a bloviating blowhard, and you may feel free to go to hell. Be assured that I intend to badmouth you to everyone within our workgroup, (you know, the group you were supposed to work with, not overrun) and I may be even more vindictive if I wake up tomorrow feeling uncharitable. It would be my pleasure to get you drummed right out of this organization.

And don’t think that I can’t. I’m sleeping with the national president. I’ve been doing that since you were in diapers, too.

I will gladly enjoy the last laugh at your expense, you jackass.

Has anyone ever tried the complaint generator?

Click Here before I summon the psycho manaiacal beast from the underworld you ingrate!!!

There used to be another one that did not need to enable Javascript to use. I think the reason I no longer have the URL was because it was discontinued.

He actually said “aggrieviously?”

$1,000 to the man who brings me his head.

He said it.

It is my great pleasure to report that the ignorant ratkisser has been summarily booted from the working group and has been placed on probationary status in the organization overall.

I’ve also spoken to someone who works with the prat, and I ever so slyly let the “aggreviously” thing “slip” in our conversation. I wasn’t surprised to learn that he’s already widely known to be a brown-nosing, self-important twit. I have a feeling that his days may well be numbered. Or at least I can hope.

I thought that the “…9042 weeks pregnant with twin blue whales.” line was inspired. I have a freind that is in the same condition. Boy that blue whale sure gets around. :smiley:

Oh MAN now I gotta know what it was that he wanted to do that was so lame!

I just wanted to say thanks for adding “feculent” and “bloviating” to my vocabulary. I am forever in your debt.

Great rant, BTW.

I am indebted for the same reason as Ice Wolf. Plus, I love the actual definition in the dictionary for “feculent.” “Foul with impurities.” Not only is the one-word adjective great, so is the three-word adjective!

I’ve never been pregnant, but gods I know how you feel. :wink:

Between this inspired line, plus the aforementioned “feculent,” “bloviating” and “foul with impurities,” and the capper - the revenge you set out for him actually came to pass by your own hand… why, I do believe I am in love.

[sub]Marry me?[/sub]


First out - OpalCat, we’re part of a 12 member committee which was charged with doing the first-stages of planning for the first ever national conference for the organization at large. (The organization’s been around for 30 years, but we’re just now really large enough to get together on a national vs. regional basis.) We were chosen by a vote of our regional memberships, so we were given trust by our regional groups that we would be able to get this together in an appropriate, professional fashion.

Dimbulb was given two tasks: he was the liaison between the group and the webmaster of our site, and was the one who was to provide official updates of our progress to be posted for the membership. Second, he was the contact person for bid packages from the various hotels in the various cities that we were considering. We had limited our choices to St. Louis, Kansas City or Oklahoma City but we hadn’t made a final choice on which city or a specific date.

Without being specifically empowered to do so, StupiBoy signed a contract obligating us to a specific city, hotel and date (the city and hotel are fine, but the date was our fifth choice out of six and 7 weeks sooner than we were really shooting for, which makes a big difference) with a five-figure penalty for cancellation. He then contacted the webmaster and had the news disseminated to the membership at large – all without telling the rest of the working group anything about it at all.

I called the hotel, being the legal person on the group, and was told “Hey, if he didn’t have authority, you’ll have to take it up internally. As far as we’re concerned, this is a valid contract.” And to fight them on it would be a lot more trouble than it’s worth – we can do that space and date, it just wasn’t anyone’s first choice, and the hotel is in possession of our AmEx number and can put a big hurting on us that would be difficult to undo. We’re stuck, and now everyone else has to scramble and go into double time to get everything going much more quickly than he’d planned at all.

And my husband is the national president of the group, so I could’ve easily used influence to get him involved and get this jerk sent packing, but I refrained, for which I feel good. Let him be hoisted and hung on his own petard.

And hey, look, my first thread garners me my first marriage proposal! Hurrah!

But Esprix, I must kindly decline. First, there is the matter of the blue whale who knocked me up, who may look dimly upon me and the blue whale to be if I go off and marry someone else. (His brother may be Revedge’s friend’s husband.) Then there’s that whole problem of me being a girl, which I imagine would start to bug you very shortly. It’s probably best that we’re just friends.

But damn if you didn’t make my day! :cool:

Apologies for taking so long to compliment you on a great rant but I’m still trying to figure out ‘aggreviously’.

WOW. That’s even worse than I expected! What a jerk!

Plus, you’re actually doing jerkface a favor. He has the perfect example of how not to work within a group. You don’t sign contracts for which you’re not empowered, and you always keep open the lines of communication.

Not to mention that you abso-fuckin-lutely don’t piss off the spousal unit of the president of your organization.

Now, it’s up to numbnuts to spin the wheel and buy a clue, or else that Summa from Yale ain’t gonna be worth a dog’s dinner.

Great job.

My guess? Only people who are egregiously stupid think “aggreviously” is a word.

Really? What did the blue whale do, just up and carry you off?


Actually, I proposed to him. We were still in school and he couldn’t find a job, so he was going to have to drop out and go back to the hellhole in which he was raised. I couldn’t imagine living without him (and his ubersexy tailfin) so I told him (didn’t really ask, come to think of it) that if he married me, we’d both qualify for more financial aid (which we did by nearly 300%) plus I’d finally give up some sex. We got married the next week.

So Esprix was, indeed, my first proposer. I’m still touched. :slight_smile:


one [sub]tiny[/sub] nit:

a ‘petard’ was an explosive device - one cannot we hung on such a device.

please tell me that the organization involved is not comprised of wordsmiths? :wink:

waiting for the 60 seconds to expire…

yes, that should be ‘be’.