I take one stance, then, when he gets closer, I drop to a lower stance, and try to get him to impale his stomach on my sword. 
Are you sure!? It’s too imprecise! the thing is coming at you weaving back and forth, like, jiggling like, like a bowl full of jelly!
Yes, I am sure. As long as I thrust alittle, it can’t be that hard. After all, if it is jiggling as much as the legends say, he cant be wearing any armor under that thing.
Ok, Scott and Hal are taking on Santa, head-on. Scott, I know your plan. Hal-- anything special or just bashing away?
First things first…I take a grab at his beard. If it comes off, then we know we’re dealing with a powerless imposter. Then, it’s whomping time!
It appears I’ve been enticed into this thread by Scott Plaid. But I haven’t read it yet (though I shall do that now). Is there a rule against oracular vegetables here? Or do I just jump in and start sliming[sup]*[/sup] industriously towards Claus?
[sub]*Habenero Slug. I’m an oracular Habenero Slug. Yes, I know, it’s more than odd, but spend enough time wandering that gallery and you’ll get it.[/sub]
like me.
Basically, once we [del]save[/del] ruin christmas, start with the first page, and read untill here to figure out how to do things.
P.S. Just so you know, I tossed you my old claymore in the other thread. I am now wielding the Sword of Pixelius, as in my no-longer-used sig line.
Gotcha.
All right, I guess I’ll appear now and catch up as I go.
::ahem::
I worm my way onto the scene, bright orange and cheerful. My antlers wave happily as I drag Scott’s claymore (roughly ten times my current body size) behind me by means unknown (considering I’m a slug and don’t have hands).
Now as to my character’s attributes - I’m a slug. I can see the future. I exude spicy slime, because I’m a Habenero Slug. This can probably be used for poison, and in fact I think I’m going to slime my way across my sword. If you pour salt on me I die, unless someone waters me or I can get the salt off some other way. My size is undefined, which means it tends to change when you aren’t looking, and sometimes when you are. Oh, and if there are any wombats around, I’ll get along well with them. Conversely, I’m not much for gods. Being a slug I also probably don’t do too well in the “getting hit by enemy weaponry and not dying” category.
Oh, I was kinda hoping you were a person named after a slug. Well, can you cast spell via waving your antenas? Or perhaps you can [del]slime[/del] walk in front of santa, causing him to slip. Something, anything, just so long as we have bodies to loot.
Anyone else wanna try and be the Dm for a while?
So far Unknown Means seems to be permitting me to wield a sword. While no-one’s looking I become the size of a small lion or a large dog, and I (somewhat shakily and with a bit of squishing and splooching) raise the now hot’n’spicy sword, ready for action. Who knows when that’ll happen, as we are for the moment DMless.
I would, but as mentioned in post #8, it’d only lead to heartbreak and gnashing of teeth.
I have no teeth and thus cannot gnash! DM away!
~to ‘Claus’~ You’re not Santa! If you were you’d know I never owned an angelfish! I’ve never even SEEN an angelfish!
And since you’re not Santa…
- You’re more of a liar than I am! And I DID see 'em! [sub]three years ago[/sub]
- FRESH MEAT!
~pulls out both weapons and charges in~
Suddenly I have a Vision Of The Future. Since I’m not a DM I don’t know what it is yet, but I hope it’s useful because it makes it slightly difficult to see anything else. Then again I don’t make much use of conventional sight, being a slug and all. I just kinda know where stuff is.
Oh, so much pressure! Sorry I had to go drink too much wine. It IS Thursday evening, after all.
Under the close questioning and pulling of his beard, anta begins to transform. . . he sprouts wings and a tail and becomes a giant red and white floating clausacoatl. He hisses and spits acid toward you.
So we have a bright orange cheerful slug with antlers? Welcome, Pythian the slug.
Clausacoatl (full name: thirteen-tarsier jade obsidian mirror) looks at you affectionately. He starts hithping at your in parsil-tonge. Do you speak snake?
(DM goes sleep-- sorry!)
Antlers are what we call those stalks that our eyes are probably in.
Yeah, I’ve got a passing acquaintance with the language. It’s odd what you pick up, being a slug.
He whips out a piece of rope with some obsidian hooks placed every few inches (done up in red, green and white for the season/theme) and asks, in Aztec-inflected parsil, if you’d like a tongue-bloodletting for Quetzlmas. He hovers malevolently.
I see he is clear threat. I try to take out his weapon. After all, it’s just rope, right? :dubious: I make damn sure to keep a solid grip on my sword, in case anything happens.
I reply that I’d rather a good slice of apple pie, if it’s all the same to him. And what did I see of the future?