No, I don’t think she’ll be embarrassed. She’s been to several DopeFests, so thinks of you all as more than “mom’s weird online friends”; in fact, before we went to pay, she was registered! I also think that getting plenty of mail might be a bright spot in a day, and who knows which day it will make the difference between being able to tough it out one more day, and running away from it?
I don’t really know, but she doesn’t have a discman anyway. She did have one, but she left it somewhere, and when she went back for it, it had been stolen.
I often get so bogged down in perfectionism, that a task does not get done! (Not saying this is what you’re doing, just saying it’s what might happen to me in the same circumstances). Something simple along the lines of:
Hi, I’m a friend of your mom’s from the SDMB. My online name is Dung Beetle. I’ve been reading about your time in rehab; I’m glad you’ve decided to take this positive step, and wish you great success. My thoughts are with you.
Sincerely
Dung Beetle
Of course, I’m not telling you what to say, only giving you some ideas. But I think it’s better if it’s a week or two before you mail something, so she doesn’t get deluged, and then nothing.
If she is at all interested in Buddhist practices at all, perhaps some mandalas might interest her? Those are the geometric shapes that Buddhist monks create with colored sand while meditating. Apparently just coloring them in with pencil crayons is quite relaxing and meditative too (plus it’s not like it’s a dorky picture of barney the dinosaur, so there is no shame in coloring it).
If you think she may be interested, and has access to pencil crayons, I could print out a few to send her.
Well, we have a close friend who was Buddhist before he became Baha’i, so she may feel some connection with Buddhist practices (she hasn’t made up her mind yet which religion, if any, she is). I believe she does have access to pencils/markers (if not, her father and I can get her some; I know she can have them). I think your idea is an excellent one! Thanks!
I hope I’m not speaking out of turn here, norinew, but I’d like to add just a note of caution for those thinking of sending coloring books and colored pencils.
Since she’s thinking of hurting herself (cutting), please don’t send her one of those cheapy little pencil sharpeners. My daughter is also a cutter and she would take them apart and use the little blade inside to cut herself. It’s very small and easy to conceal. It’s also amazingly sharp.
I would love to send her a letter. I will email you shortly. Also, I’m far far away (in the UK), I’m of a similar age, female, with a whole load of time on my hands. I can also honestly say that, at least as far as the alcohol and drugs situation goes, I’ve had more than enough experiences of my own in the short time I’ve been of this world. Maybe it would be nice for her to hear from someone a little more her age, maybe a little more on her wave length. A little less like ‘Mom’s weird online friends’. What do you think? Anyway, I’ll drop her a line, just introducing myself and so on - if she wants to write back, be it just the once to say thanks or whatever, or on a more regular basis if that would interest her, then that would be great too.
Well mine went off today. I made a little (3"X 4") 10 page booklet with pictures of beautiful places and my cat. wuv my widdle kitten-face and wrote a little note.
You will let us know how she responded, right?
I don’t think you’re speaking out of turn at all. But the staff searches everything before she gets it, and I don’t think they’d allow her to have a pencil sharpener.
picunurse, I will definitely keep you all posted on how she responds!
norine, I hate to make a pest of myself with the same request twice, but could you send me another email with her address again? I just got to thinking that perhaps a second card would be nice, after the initial flurry of contact died down, so a renewed burst might help to make another day tolerable. (And bump this thread back to the top so that others might see it and feel the urge.)
Sorry I’ve misplaced it. God knows that since I’m such an anal-retentive OC freak, I probably deleted it as soon as I replied to you.
::: sigh :::
I so gotta quit that.
Thanks and I’m still sending all of you good thoughts.
faithfool, I sent the address to your gmail account, so check your mail.
I think it’s a good idea for everyone to not send something at once.
I spoke to her on the phone today, and she said she’d gotten something from phall0106. I’ll be seeing her tomorrow, to see if she got anything today. She only gets mail at nighttime, after all the classes and everything are over.
I will post again after I see her tomorrow, to let you all know how she’s doing.
If anyone sent me an email asking for her address, and I didn’t respond, please resend. I got so many requests it got hard to keep up! But I’m happy about it, I’m happy!
Well, I saw her yesterday, and she had gotten cards from DeVena and Seeker74. She was a little confused about Seeker’s username, because, in my religion, we call people who are checkin’ out the Faith “seekers”. So she said “Mom, I got a card from a. . .a. . .‘seeker’”. But I explained it to her!
She seems to be settling in, and really being honest, with us and herself, for the first time in, well, maybe forever.
We had a family session with her counselor, and got a lot accomplished, I think.
It makes her feel better to think that so many people are supporting her! Keep it going folks, you’re doin’ great!
wuv my widdle kitten-face and wrote a little note.