You’ve made it! You’re a success! You’ve saved the world!
Alternatively:
You’re a shit! You’re a stalker! You’ve come down with the the disease of the week!
For whatever reason, Hollywood is filming your story. Who do they cast to portray you? The only requirement: The producer is cheap and won’t pay for huge makeup effects - the actor has to have some resemblence to you (if you look like Moms Mabley, they’re not going to cast Jennifer Aniston).
I’d have to say Ben Affleck. Everyone always says I look just like him. I don’t see it personally (I wish it were true!) – I think it’s just because we’re both tall and have brown hair. It’s also a good fit, because based on his performances in the Kevin Smith movies, he’d do a good job of portraying my sense of humor. 
Probably French Stewart knowing my luck.
Well, I have had a couple of people tell me that I look like Thora Birch. I don’t think that I look like her at all, but I have been told it more then once. Also, her character in American Beauty kind of reminded me of me, so I think that she could play me.
Personally, I always thought that I looked more like Christina Ricci, but I have never had anyone tell me that, so I guess that I am most like just dellusional.
I’d like to have Bernadette Peters play me, if they could take a few years off her. I’ve heard on more than one occasion that I resemble her.
If I’ve gone back to the post-anorexia weight by the time I become infamous, then Nicole Kidman would fit the bill.
If they can get Lance Henrikson to put on a bit of weight, he’d be a perfect Mr. Bobkitty.
-BK
Well, in the old days, they coulda gotten Ros Russell or Joan Blondell or Eve Arden. Your Central Casting bitter, wisecracking dame.
But now, I’ll happily opt for Leslie Grossman. She doesn’t look anything like me—but after seeing the gleefully evil way she played Mary Cherry on the late, lamented “Popular,” I’d be honored to have her star in my version of “All About Eve.”
I was told all throughout high school (and even for some years afterwards) that I was a dead-ringer for Justine Bateman from her Family Ties days. For years my nickname was “Mallory”. But she’s way, WAY too short! If we could put Justine’s face on say, Geena Davis’s body, we’d be in business!
If I may be so bold as to offer my opinion – rather than Thora Birch or Christina Ricci, from the pics on your webpage, I’d have to say you look like Holly Marie Combs (Piper from "Charmed). All I can say about that is…
Hubba hubba. 
Michelle Yeo.
Knowing Hollywood, they’d make her the first wall-scaling ass-kicking librarian.
I’ve been told at various times I resemble:
Christian Slater
Mikail Barishnikov (from the neck up, only!) and most recently…
Edward Norton.
One of my brothers bears a strong resemblance to Hugh Grant, and the other is reminiscent of Leonardo DeCaprio!
Mike Meyers. I look like Mike Meyers and John Mellencamp had a child (if you don’t believe me, check out my peoplepages pic: http://www.geocities.com/sdpeoplepages/superdude.html)
I have been told since Wayne’s World was on SNL that I reminded everyone of Mike Meyers. And the personality’s are kinda there, too. So, yeah. Mike Meyers.
Well, Sean Connery is too expensive (although he does keep doing walk-on parts for scale, or donating his pay to charities…), Eric Clapton isn’t an actor, Johnathan Frakes is way too tall… I’d say Jurgen Prochnow, aside from the accent.
Off the top of my head, I can’t think of any naturally-red haired actresses, let alone a short one that resembles me… The gal who plays Donna on “That 70’s Show” is the only one I can think of, but she’s too pointy-faced.
Well damn… I may have to play myself
Hmmm. . .some folks think I look like John Candy, but he’s dead. Of course they’re doing great things with those newfangled electric computers they have these days, so who knows?
Actually, nobody’s ever really said I looked like anybody famous except MsRobyn, who mentioned that I remind her of Philip Seymour Hoffman.
Hey, he’s famous. He’s an actor, so it’s not like we have to break in a novice. And there’s good-lookin’ wimmin out there that think I look like him. That’s good enough for me.
Zap!
AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!
::slaps forehead::
My first link on the boards and I messed it up. Mods, could you please fix it? Thanks.
Remember, kids: Preview is your friend!
Zap!
Never fear, Zappo dear: Philip Seymour Hoffman
Me? In the movie version of my life, I shall be played by Demi Moore, who I resemble (in my dreams!). When I get a little older, and she stays younger and beautiful, it’ll be Meryl Streep. I have been told I look like her. Ha! It’s the pointy nose.
Why thank you, Ellen. (Dammit, gotta stop hanging out with Rue)! 
When I get “The Story of Zappo” turned into A Major Motion Picture (Coming Soon To A Theatre Near You!), I will insist upon the following:
1)Demi Moore plays the lovely and talented Ellen.
2)I have total control over the script.
3)Hi Opal!
4)I get the girl.
Zap!
There has to be an actual physical resemblence? Damn. Well then, apparently I’d be played by the girl who was Brad in ** Hey Dude**. That’s the only actress Ive ever been compared to that I can think of.
(Unless you count the time a drunken friend insisted that I look like Cameron Diez, which I don’t since I’m a green-eyed brunette with tons of freckles. Bless that boy, though, it was a sweet thing to say.)
Even though I’m twenty and look nothing like him, Steven Seagal. High grade Hollywood productions don’t even use actors that resemeble their real life counterparts, some cruddy flick sure isn’t going to worry about it. I imagine I’ll be fighting corruption on the fire department or something…
Me-ow!