Who's sexier with a snake?

Inspired by both the Kaylee, Bailey thread and the funny comedy line thread. My pick is Nastassja Kinski. I was going to post links to all of them but the Lucy Liu one is, well, pornographic. For a look google Lucy Liu Flypaper.

The answer is Natalie Portman. Admittedly, she has the unfair advantage of being Natalie Portman. Cite in the spoiler box.

[spoiler]Here you go:

http://jeffords.blogspot.com/2008/09/natalie-portman-why-post-natalie.html[/spoiler]

Lucy gets credit for doing a scene with a venomous. Even if that snake is a venomoid, (and it probably is) she wins.

She’s just a big old copycat. No points for her!

Fool of a Took!

The fact that Portman seems, by a mere four-dimensional perception of causality, to have done her bit after the others matters not a whit. For the Natalie is eternal, never born and never to perish, and at the beginning of time posed naked not merely with a snake but also riding a velociraptor, which forebore to eat her on account of her awesomeness. “Previous” hot-chick-with-serpent images were created by the enemy to make us doubt the truth of Natalie’s pre-eminance.

Christopher Atkins

Not bad! But those hips look a little bony. And the chest a little adolescent. Still, not bad!

Those Lucy Liu pics were… oh, my… I’ll be in my bunk.

Natalie Portman is hotter all around, but those pictures were sexy to the extreme.

I don’t know, the Lucy Liu pics aren’t really so much “Lucy Liu with a snake”, as just “Lucy Liu in a sex scene, with a snake sort of in the general vicinity”.

I’m gonna have to go with Lucy.

Georgina Spelvin should at least be in the running here.

I like Lucy Liu just fine (love the freckles), but that snake sex scene was just freaky weird. And before I found that, I found a scene where some dude chains her up and then she uses an aluminum can to saw off part of her heel so she can slide the chain off. Definitely not a turn on for me. I went with Selma Hayek who is always sexy.

Can anyone explain the whole Flypaper movie thing to me? Was it as awful as it looks?

I found all that too, and was wondering “What snake scene?”

And I can’t really vote for the best, but I remember the Salma Hayek scene, and it sucked. And I’m thinking Liu may need to be disqualified for hot actually appearing with the snake, just being bit by them. So I guess Kinski wins by default.

Portman does look good, but no more good than she would look without the snake. It doesn’t enhance anything. And she’s not one of the choices.

ETA: Salma’s little fake stripper dance while still clothed is better than these other two? Really?

No, the stripper dance was kind of boring (loved her stripper in Dogma, though). I don’t really remember any scene with Kinski, just a photo like Portman. And if we go to still shots, then Hayek wins. FWIW both Hayek and Liu seem smart with a sense of humor, which adds to their sex appeal. Snakes aren’t sexy in my book to begin with.

Triana Iglesias. Norwegian/Spanish model of pure snakealicious hotness :slight_smile:

Proof in the spoiler, link is NSFW, I guess :


 [http://homicidalinsomniac.blogspot.com/2009/08/triana-iglesias-and-that-snake-again.html](http://homicidalinsomniac.blogspot.com/2009/08/triana-iglesias-and-that-snake-again.html)

None of them. It degrades the snake, which is probably stunned by the stench of Monistat wafting out of those well worn crotches.

Let’s not forget Alice Cooper.

woah. So are you saying you saw that movie? :slight_smile: What did you think of it? I might have to Netflix it for the Lucy Liu factor, but otherwise it doesn’t look so good.

I enjoyed the nakedness of Lucy Liu, but other than that it was non-memorable.

I believe that the snakes used in these shoots are all pythons, so they are trying to wrap themselves around these chick’s bodies, as preparation to asphyxiating them (then eating them).
How do you prevent this? Anyway, what is so erotic about having an animal wrapped around you, who views you as a potential meal?