I’m not sure if I’ll kill this thread, but I am sure that this post will be ignored. Frankly, I feel that I must be on everybody’s ignore list.
I don’t kill threads by having the ultimate word on the subject. I kill threads by posting in them when everyone else has decided to move on.
<drops dead horse into center of room>
<drops paddle>
Be my guest, ladies and gentlemen. 
I feel the same way Steelerphan .
Did I just acknowledge you? Damn! Doesn’t matter, you’ll have moved on.
We currently seem to be jousting for title of most prolific threadkiller.
I submit that there should be a second category: most efficient threadkiller, calculated by number of threads killed as a percentage of total posts.
As I have not yet searched the threads, I have zero confirmed kills, but I’m hopeful.
Last May I started this thread which contains instructions on how to figure out your Thread-Kill Percentage.
Figure it out.
You guys are trying too hard.
13 out of 165.
Now I get to kill it.
Herpes.
confirmed thread-kills: 9, with this and one other pending as a possible 10th & 11th.
Threads I’ve posted in: 136
total posts: 504
1.8% of my posts have the kiss of death.
I kill 6.6% of all threads in which I post.
But then, perhaps my numbers will go up with this thread.
Whoa down there young en’s.* Ya’ all thought you were gonna git off easy? Don’t count yer eggs b’fur yer chickens hatch.
Why don’t ya all pull up a log there and have a seat. I got a little story about a man that if he joined the SDMB, he would have been the ultimate thread killer. His name was Earl T. Scritch. Lots of people called him Uncle Earl even though he wasn’t related to anyone in the family. He knew a friend of my Uncle Vic and somehow got invited to a 4th of July picnic many years ago and took that to be an invitation to any family gatherings we had, especially if it involved getting a free meal. Just before dinner someone would always say the magic words, “Did someone invite Earl?”. And just about that time Earl would drive up in his little blue Dodge Dart.
Earl live by himself in a small trailer next to an auto wrecking yard. He said he was there to provide security, we all thought it was because he could get free parts for his car. Besides eating food at family get togethers, Earl also liked to fish. He said that he was the best fisherman ever, in fact, he said if he just wanted to relax and not catch any, the fish would leave his bait alone and let him relax. Earl like to relax a lot when he fished. On a couple of occasions he tried to tell this to game wardens when he was asked about a fishing license but for some reason they never believed him.
One Thanksgiving about 10 years ago, just before dinner was served, my aunt Shirley called out “Did someone invite Earl?” Everyone looked outside but there was no Earl. The topic of conversation all through dinner was about Earl and where he was. After dinner a couple of my cousins decided to drive over to Earl’s and see if something was wrong. They returned an hour later looking sad. Paul, an older cousin came in the house and told everyone the news, Earl was dead. He had apparently died in his sleep a few days earlier.
A search was started for anyone that might be related to Earl but none could be found. Everyone was hit up for some money and enough was collected to have Earl cremated. It was also decided to spread his ashes over Clear Lake, his favorite fishing, err, relaxing spot. Just about everyone that knew Earl showed up on a cold rainy Saturday morning to see Earl off. The only thing forgotten was a way to spread Earl’s ashes on the lake. The only boat rental place was closed but the owner, Dutch, said he would take Earl to the middle of the lake and spread his ashes. Dutch pulled out a row boat, placed Earl in, and rowed out to the middle of the lake.
When he arrived at an appropriate spot, Dutch stood up and held Earl’s ashes, which came from the crematorium in a cardboard box, above his head. About that time the boat started rocking and Dutch fell over, launching Earl into the lake still inside of the cardboard box. Now we had Dutch knocked out laying in a rowboat, Earl was floating around in a cardboard box and because Dutch locked his boat house, us standing on a dock being helpless to do anything. Some of the younger family members started throwing rocks at Earl hoping they might be able to sink the box. But the box was drifting away from us and even rocks thrown by the adults were landing short. About 10 minutes later we saw Dutch had came to and he sat up in his row boat. He hollered he was coming in and that he was not touching Earl’s box again, it was possessed.
Some of the younger kids were still throwing rocks into the lake when one of my younger cousin’s, Chrissy, picked up a rock and with a might heave, gave it her all. The rock hit Dutch, who had just started to row himself back in, right in the back of the head knocking him out again. The rock then tumbled end over end and struck the now saturated box containing Earl’s ashes. The box broke open and Earl’s ashed left a few bubbles as they sunk to the bottom of the lake. Everyone decided it was a good time to leave, Earl’s ashes were in the lake and Dutch was going to be really mad when he woke up again.
The following summer I went to Clear Lake to do some fishing and thought I would rent a boat from Dutch, he still couldn’t be mad over the events of the previous winter. I walked in and when Dutch saw me he started rubbing the back of his head and cussing up a storm. He jumped over the counter, which was a considerable feat for Dutch and started throwing stuff at me. I ran outside and Dutch followed me out, and started throwing rocks at me. I tried telling him it wasn’t me but he wouldn’t listen. I haven’t been able to fish at Clear Lake since the day we spread Earl’s ashes.
*That’s geezer speak for amatuers.
Huh. Well whaddaya know?
Not so fast.
xxx
rank amateurs.
19 out of 500 at the moment, 3.8%. I thought I’d be among the worst, but I guess not. 
Marley23, it lokks like you win on this thread though.
Oh. Wait, nevermind.
I feel like being evil. So ha. Ha. HA! :: Snicker, smirk, skitter away ::
Whilst my user name is too short to search for (I will change this posthaste) I would imagine myself to be one of the most efficient thread killers around.
A single one of my innapropriate anecdotes or horrible observations can kill even the most intelligent of discourses, or at the very least maim them so badly they stagger on for only a couple more posts before collapsing and being scavenged by the hamsters.
sheesh. How quickly history is forgotten.
First was this…
Followed by this…
Mac Guffin.
(Formerly Particlewill)
…there was also:
Hi Opal.
Back in Dec I startedthis thread I had killed 9 of the previous 58 threads I posted to. This is about 14% of my posts. There were slightly higher counts, but 15% is a high thread killer ratio.
Bet you thought you had this one…