Are we sure about this? Looks dead to me.
Hey! I’ve never been in a dying thread. Shall I be the one who ends this? (that’ll be a great honor).
It’s not dead; it’s resting!
Nope, definitely dead.
I’m surprised that The Powers That Be haven’t locked this one yet… hint hint …
But who really cares who kills these threads? I mean, how trivial is that?
You are right, it is trivial.
I have an idea. Why dont we just let the newest member let this one die therefore not jeopardizing anyone’s ego. That way you can still have a competition and no one get the title for the ultimate thread killer from this thread alone. I have been here a week give it to me or someone else new.
Well, to me, it seemed most reasonable for it to end where it began – with me.
I agree. The thread should end here.
I’ve got 47 kills counting from threads I killed yesterday (I didn’t include the few from today).
I’m sure I’d be lower if people took me off their ignore list.
So grand total is 48 if we include this thread.
This thread is just gasping for life, so I’m going to avoid posting in it.
Oh, dammit.
Stop this, all of you. The real thread killer has arrived.
33 kills out of 500 threads makes the mighty cowgirl a threadkiller extraordinaire. I am certain it’s because of my compelling and irrefutable arguments, rather than my incomprehensible and pointless anecdotes.
Now, if you will all please go read some other thread …
You’re right, cowgirl. You really killed it now.
Yup, that is one dead thread.
Maybe it would be easier to introduce my friend Bumpo. Take it away, Bumpo.
"Hello Dopers. I am speaking to you from the consulate of the Republic of Quiznovania on behalf of the Good King Zamtuningiansonfred, and I am appealing now for your help.
"As you are well aware, the Republic of Quiznovania has just suffered a great loss after our Queen, the esteemed Esmerelda Zamtuningiansonfred-Thorne-Smith, was killed in a tragic accident involving an unlicensed Garden Weasel. Our country is in a great state of mourning, and will remain so until the full moon crosses through the sky for a fortnight and a half, and the WB promises to renew “Angel” for another full season. As we know this will never happen, we are now prepared to make an offer before our gods to bring our country out of this unfortunate funk we are now in.
"During a recent rebellion suffered by the Galactic Empire at the hands of a terrorist group of rebels, a sizable amount of funds were invested to prepare for the construction of a (finger quotes) “laser beam” to keep our enemies at bay. When we at last discovered that our enemy was, in fact, a completely fictional creation by our sworn enemy George Lucas, we vowed to keep the funds in a lockbox under our bed until such time we could determine if Jar Jar Binks would become a threat. Now, in our time of sorrow, we offer up these funds to any and all participants of this thread that fight the good fight by REFUSING to post again.
"Yea, verily, let us find it in our hearts to let this thread pass on quietly, without so much as a reply. T’would be a fitting tribute to our Good Dead Queen to stop with the nonsense, and let this poor, hapless gentleman Chastain86 to kill it. In return for this small measure of favor, our country will be able to find closure and move on from this tragedy. You, as a non-participant, will be awarded part of the eleventy billion million kajillion dollars* we currently have stuffed in the mattress of our futon.
"To have your name considered for this substantive award, please write to:
Consulate Adjunctive Potentate N. Wallace Bumpo the Fifteenth
c/o the Nigerian e-mail sch…I mean, “Revolutionary Fund”
15757 1/2 North Palace Way
The Republic of Quiznovania
“Thank you for your time. Is that a new shirt you’re wearing, or a new haircut? Because you’re looking fine these days.”
Well now you’ve done it. I*had * decided to let this one go… but this means war!
Well, no money for YOU, then. 
I like this thread. I have a 6.5% kill rate. I, like others, figured it to be much higher than what it was.
I was able to search as far back as 500 posts, and of them, I killed 12.8%
You killed 12.8% of threads you were in, or 12.8% of your posts were thread-killers?