Just to be clear, while I support the girlfriend’s POV in the situation as described in the OP, I don’t think there’s a universal rule in play that says she’s required to break up with her boyfriend, or even that that’s the course of action I’d encourage her to take. If she were asking me for advice on what to do, I’d suggest lots of communication and seeing (assuming all else is hunky-dory) if she can keep the relationship going.
However, once she’s made her decision, I don’t think it’s an unreasonable one, or a bad decision – it’s her choice, and I back her ability to make that choice.
I also don’t think that people in relationships always need to check in with their partners before any similar kind of situation. As I’ve said before, I’ve been to strip clubs and received lap dances. My wife was cool with it, and is cool with it if I choose to do that again – I don’t have to check in every time. If it had been established that the GF in the OP was fine with flirting or going to peep shows or kissing her friends, then I might be more sympathetic to the guy for thinking it was no big deal.
And you’re taking liberties with the situation as well, characterizing it in your own mind as a situation “that just happened,” or words to that effect.
I’m going to tell my wife that I just watched the neighbor girl masturbate? And she’s going to believe that that’s all that happened? That I merely watched?
He he.
Good one.
The guy cheated, the girl was right. There are very, very few women who would even believe that their SO just came back from this experience exactly the way it was described and that that was all that happened.
Break-ups don’t have to be justified. If she wants to dump him because she thinkgs the whole thing was kinda trashy and the fact that he participated has lowered her esteem for him so much that she doesn’t want to be with him any more, that’s a perfectily good reason to break up with him. If she wants to break up with him because she thinks of sex as a transcendent, private experience and he’s violated that privacy, that’s fine too. You don’t have to wait for your partner to fuck up to be allowed out of a relationship, and so quibbling about whether or not it’s enough to justify breaking up with him is ridiculous. You can break up with someone because you don’t like their new haircut, and that’s perfectly justified.
Well, sure, you could qualify anything with any number of qualifiers.
In this case we were to assume that it would be you and your SO that would have this discussion.
The girlfriend wasn’t “right.” The girlfriend wasn’t “wrong.” She was simply exercising her right to decide what she could accept in the relationship. Okay, for this girl, it was a problem so she broke up with him.
If my husband came home and told me that story, I’d probably just crack up and say “wow, that was a weird night.” And I’d probably ask him to stay away from the neighbor in the future.
A few months ago, a long thread came down to, “Is oral sex, sex?” both from the angle of cheating on an SO and it the angle of whether one is still a virgin after oral sex. Most of the posters, to my surprise, felt that both virgins were still virgins after oral sex, and that eatin’ ain’t cheatin’. I took the position that oral sex is sex.
This thread hangs on an act that involves no contact at all between the two (unless getting flirtatious means kissing and petting,) Yet the majority seems to think they might as well have been boinking, that it was sex. My position is that, because she couldn’t come without him watching, maybe they had sex. Without that element, would watching her flick her bic be sex? It’s nothing he wouldn’t see in a strip club. The stripper doesn’t need him for her orgasm; she needs him for his money.
“Would you mind watching me blip my blivet?”
“I wouldn’t mind at all. What are friends for?”
