I’m putting this in IMHO, because it is a question, but one without a factual answer.
Why do people worry about petty things?
Why is it, that someone who has what could be considered by most everyone to be a decent life, focus only on the negatives instead of actually being happy for what they have?
Why must people make themselves unhappy?
I’ve been trying to understand this, and frankly, it makes absolutely no sense to me. I can understand wishing to improve your situation, but what I don’t understand is when people worry about things that, in all honesty, do not matter.
I’ve been trying, and failing miserably, to get my mom to see this point.
She will complain because she has no money, she will complain because she’s getting old, she will complain because her son died, because she thinks her boobs are too small, the list goes on.
I personally, think her perspective is horribly skewed.
I asked her a simple rhetorical question, just to make her think about this, and she honestly couldn’t answer it.
The question?
“If you had a few million dollars, younger looking skin, big boobs, and an age of 20 on her driver’s license, how would her life be better?”
She couldn’t answer, and the reason, is because it wouldn’t be. I pointed out to her, that even if she had those things, the truly “bad” things that have happened to her, still would have happened. Her mom still would have died of cancer, her sister still would have been in a car accident, her marriage would still suck, her son would have still died, etc…
The only difference, is that she would have had a nicer car, and guys whistling at her while they happened.
Now, I realize that sounds pessimistic, but it really isn’t, I was just pointing out that all of her other worries, were mere petty things. I pointed out, that even with a million bucks, she would still feel like shit about getting pulled over for a DUI, the only difference is that she would have been pulled over in a nicer car.
In the grand scheme of things, even the “major” ones, people dying and such, aren’t really all that horrible. Why?
Because everyone dies. You can’t control when it happens. I personally would rather die after having lived a good life, than have lived suffering. And the people I mentioned all lived good lives prior to their deaths. All-in-all, I’d call them rather blessed, remember the good times, and move on.
But instead of focusing on their lives, she’ll focus on their last 5 minutes. Out of the years they were alive, focusing all of her energy on those 5 minutes, which in comparison are insignificant. My brother for instance, was a living, breathing person, who had a lot of fun while he was alive, was an entertaining (if extremely annoying) person to be around, and was a part of a great many people’s lives. Instead of looking back on that with a smile, and possibly a teary eye (got one of those now, actually, both the smile and the teary eye), she’ll focus on those last 5 minutes, which in no way define him as a person.
It sucks that he died, but it was going to happen anyways. Everyone dies, It’s what you do with the time you are alive that defines you though, not the time afterwards.
And having more money won’t change that, nor will bigger boobs. Or smaller hips, or less wrinkles.
Compared to 95% of the people living on this planet right now, she could be considered blessed. She has a place to live, food in her stomach, and even such luxuries as a car, cable television, a can opener, and some fresh, non-moldy bread.
How many people in the world can’t even claim to have those?
But no, she’ll complain because someone else has the nicer car, the bigger house, a bigger tv, fresh baked gourmet bread, and someone to open their cans for them.
And in what ways would those things have made her life any better?
More convenient, yes, better, hell no.
Even the things like looking better, only truly make a difference when she looks in a mirror, but the basic effect that having those things would accomplish can be done without changing a thing. All it takes is no longer focusing on the “bad” things, and looking at the whole picture, the same with her whole life. Stop focusing on the wrinkles, not having them won’t make a lick of difference. Sure, you may feel better about yourself, but isn’t the whole point just to make yourself comfortable in your own skin? Wouldn’t you rather be more comfortable in the skin you were given than the one the plastic surgeon made for you?
Now, some changes to ones body will actually effect positive change in their lives, depending on their reasoning. Losing weight for instance. If you are losing weight to look like a playboy bunny, then your reasoning is misguided. Losing weight so that you can make it up a flight of stairs without being winded? Admirable.
If you feel that you are defined by what you look like, then you are missing the whole point. Your eyes point away from your face so that you can observe the world around you. Having smaller hips doesn’t change the way the world in front of you looks.
If I am worried because I have a wrinkle, which I can’t even see without the aid of a mirror, why should I let it taint the view that my eyes see?
What would I truly be accomplishing by wishing I had bigger muscles or something? Sure, if I feel good about the way I look, I will be in a better mood, but I can simply accomplish that by getting my hair cut. I’ll feel like a million bucks afterwards, and an extra wrinkle, a zit, or a missing limb isn’t going to change that.
A lot of people will use the “well, other people will react to me differently” excuse, which also is, IMO, misguided.
What difference does it make if you have a giant boil on the side of your face, some major infection on your crotch, and a stray wrinkle, and someone loves you anyways, even in spite of it. Shouldn’t you be happy because someone who actually was interested in the person, not the boil, found you?
Shouldn’t you be happy because someone looked at you, and liked what they saw behind your boil covered face, instead of someone who only liked what they saw on the outside.
You’re going to get old and ugly anyways, why not enjoy the time you are young and not-quite-as-ugly, instead of focusing on how you are getting old-and-ugly.
People make no sense to me sometimes.
