Hope you have fun with your friend. It was the putting off thing you were doing that you changed. WTG!
Good points made by 6 Immpossible and Acantha on where you live. So true! I grew up in “WASPTOWN” Ct. and I was a non snob stuck on snob hill. Then I moved to New Haven and it was like living in a war zone. I was too afraid to make friends. Finally I move to New Hampshire and I found the place I belong. Quiet and unassuming and very safe and beautiful. I know all my neighbors and I like them and they like me. If you could live anywhere where would you live?
I think for me it’s a matter of initially liking someone and somewhere down the road discovering a serious character flaw, which leaves me disillusioned. Then I feel bad about myself because I can’t trust my own judgment.
If you are finding most people have a “serious” character flaw, either the group you are choosing these people from is the wrong one or your definition of serious is bit too stringent.
Hanging out with him was alright. It lasted all too long, I think. We hung out in a local comic shop for a few hours, but then we visited a friend of his, who I knew, from high school, and then I recalled why I’m mildly misanthropic quickly.
It’s the company, it seems. The kids from my high school were, and still are, as annoying from my memory. It seems to me that most people don’t irritate me that much, and my friend certainly didn’t, so I figure you guys might be right (might), since the guy at the comic shop wasn’t terrible either, and we were there for a few hours.
I’m just getting into graphic novels myself; so I have nothing in terms of asking whether you found anything interesting in the comic shop (other than Deidre Callaghan The Ugliest Girl in The World, or The Aesop Brothers - all from the deep, dark, vagueries of my feeble mind. I’m sure I’ve spelled something wrong there…)
Who knows. You might have found yourself a potential friend in the Comic Shop Guy. Think of the discounts!!
I think it’s very easy to project our own unhappiness onto other people. When other people annoy me, I know that what they are doing bugs me only because I am looking to be bugged. Something is bothering me so I get impatient with situations I can change (leaving the room or yelling at someone) rather than situations I can’t change (stupid weather! Stupid bellyache!)
The older I get, the less annoying everyone is. I don’t think that’s some sort of worldwide miracle that everyone else is changing. The difference is that I’ve taken responsibility for my happiness, and I recognize the types of mental leaps my mind is making to cast the Other Person as the villain in my little snit. I do tend to be someone who can be overwhelmed by stimuli, so loud noises or voices can still make me jumpy, but I’ve learned to roll with it.
I went from someone who was impatient with others to being someone who really likes most people. I went from judgmental to easygoing, from rigid to flexible. Now if I’m frustrated with someone it’s almost always me that I’m frustrated with.
I was agonizing over purchasing the Enders Game comics, actually.
I decided not to, because they’ll end up on the Marvel App for my iPad, and then I’ll feel stupid, because I’ll never look at them after I buy them, and they’ll just clutter up my already too full home.
OTH, I have no particular interest in starting a friendship with comic book guy.
Something struck me here. Do you typically spend long amounts of time with people when you agree to meetings? You spent 3 hours at the comic shop then more time at the friend’s place. Are you getting worn out on people then becoming annoyed? That’s a common occurrence with introverts. Perhaps you would be better served by agreeing to shorter periods of hanging out with others. Spend an hour having lunch or drop into a party for 45 minutes and then be on your way (alone).
No, typically I don’t spend any time at all with other people, and when I do it’s for as short a period as possible, yesterday was… extremely out of the ordinary.
I was fine with the comics shop – even if some of the people did agitate me, it was tolerable – it was after the comics shop when we met up with some of the morons I went to high school with, that I had issue.