I actually prefer sea salt. It stings longer.
Naw, slice open a hot pepper and rub it in the cut.
Builds character.
Little Bird, don’t feel ashamed of your “naivete.” I used to think like you, too. But at some point along the line (college teaches a lot of things) I realized there are all sorts of sexual relationships. There’s making love to someone whom you are truly, deeply bonded to. And then there’s banging someone because you were both horny and reasonably attracted to each other (or drunk, or all 3). So I don’t know if your guy was “in love” with each of the four women. It could be more of the latter. I guess whether you are stunned or not depends on what you think a person’s reasons for sex are.
I usually fall for the wrong guys, too. I keep meeting really cool, nice, charming guys. It just turns out that they’re so cool, nice, and charming that some other woman has already snagged them.
If you want sweetness and light, don’t post in the pit.
Little Bird, don’t feel bad. I’m 31, and I’m at 2. I’d feel the same way you did.
Yeah - we also sometimes feel that way about you, sweet’ums. 
pan
4 by 20? Damn I wish I had been able to do that. I still haven’t made it to 4 and 20 past me by a long, long time ago.
But the fact I am socially inept does not mean that your new guy is exceptionally active. Just very lucky. After all, you are interested in him. 
You have to be fucking kidding, right?
Are you saying that you would have a hysterical breakdown if you found out a new lover has had :::GASP::: FOUR SEXUAL PARTNERS before you?!?!?!?
Listen people, don’t play grownup games if you aren’t able to handle them emotionally, m’kay?
Little Bird, let me see if I can elaborate on my previous posting with a modicum of tact.
Some day (perhaps even with the current guy, he of the History of Four) you will fall in love. Your sleeping patterns and eating patterns will go haywire, you’ll stare off into space smiling and sighing off and on all day, you’ll be blissfully happy and rapturously content, aside from missing him with sharp little pangs sometimes when you’re apart for a few hours, …it will be wonderful.
The intensity of your feelings will cause things to take on additional importance they wouldn’t normally have, just as they do for him. Either of you may each experience the other as being controlling, or getting upset over the littlest things; or of being blithely uncaring and withholding the little signs of caring and devotion that you discover you need.
If and when you break up, if you are still in love at the time, you’ll be miserable; minutes will last for dreary hours; you’ll feel like hiding under the bed in the dark and never leaving home again; you’ll contemplate and possibly attempt suicide. You will, of course, be convinced that you’ve lost the one true love and you’ll never have it again. You’ll think the only really fantastically good thing that ever happened in your life is over forever.
The second time will come as a complete surprise. You’ll be amazed to find out that you can be in love like that more than once in your life. At some point, as you get higher and higher on the new relationship with your new fantastic guy, it will cross your mind that these things can come to an end (as they did last time) and you could get hurt if you leave yourself wide open to it. And, depending on your courage and your emotional resiliency, you may or may not bail out suddenly no matter how good it is out of fear of how badly you could get hurt if you don’t and he does later. Or you may find that your insecurities and worries manifest themselves in other ways.
Ideally, I like to date women who have been deeply and totally in love at least twice before. Being relationship-experienced is kind of like being potty-trained. You’re so much less likely to have someone suddenly bail out on you or attempt suicide on your front lawn.
Additional sexual experience, including times when she thought she might be falling in love but hit the disillusionment zone early on; had to cope with immature or abusive guys and learned how to defend her space; had to cope with guys who have unquestioned expectations and learned how to defend her freedom; etc – this helps too.
Last but not least, it is nice to play with a girl who knows how to play with boy-parts as well as I know how to play with girl-parts. Who know how things feel when you do them to someone.
So, umm, no insults or paper cuts intended.
Well, you know, people do have different views on sex.
I’m 35. My “score” is two. My ex-wife, and my current wife.
I’ve had “sex” maybe a half-dozen times. I’ve made love the rest of the time. To me, there’s an important distinction. Sex is just mindless, thinking-with-your-genitalia physical activity. Making love is a deeper, more personal connection, in my opinion. It can be gentle, wild, passionate, animalistic, tender, teasing, and incredibly fulfilling. Sex is sex. Making love is a state of mind.
I’m not convinced that someone who has sex all the time is more mature than someone who wants to wait so they can make love.
Nicely put, Sauron
Christ on a crutch, do you guys kick puppies for fun, too? Get a grip. Just because she posts in the Pit doesn’t mean you get a free pass to abuse her. So she’s naive, what of it? Actually, I find that refreshing.
Little Bird, if you take anything from this take this piece of wisdom:
Don’t let people make you feel bad about being naive. You’re young. Be naive if that’s your thing. Enjoy your life and be who you want to be and don’t listen to those who mock.
I understand what you’re going through.
When my boyfriend and I started dating, I had abig problem with that kind of thing, too. He was my first boyfriend, my first kiss even.
Since we had been friends for a year before, I knew his past quite well (and had witnessed some of it). At 19, he was engaged to and living with a stripper. They broke up. He had another serious relationship, but after they broke up, he slept with five girls in the span of the time I knew him (8 months).
It was tough. I could never have sex with someone who I don’t love (I’m a hopeless romantic) and I found it hard to reconcile myself with his past.
But it was worth it. He never pressured me into doing something I didn’t want to do. I always felt, and I still feel like I AM special, not just number eight or whatever.
I won’t say that it didn’t affect me, because it did. I still feel like aI have a lot to live up to, every single other girl he slept with being much more experienced than I (and a stripper for goodness’ sake).
__
And on an unrelated note, I’d like to swear some at all those people who are telling her to “join the real world” and that she’s being dumb for being upset.
Her view of the world is obviously different from yours, but because it’s your view doesn’t make it right.
So fuck you to all of you who have been making her feel inferior, too naive and young for her personal issues.
26 and 2.
Alright, you fuckers, stop hogging it all. Everyone who has more than 2 has to stop having ANY until I catch up.
I know the discussion is mostly over, but I wanted to address this:
I’ve only had one girlfriend I was sexually active with, but I was number 8 for her (at age 21). I had no problem with this. It didn’t keep me from loving her at all.
You and me both, but if a person chooses to have sex (or make love) with another paper, they really need to be mature enough to handle the emotional aspect that goes a long with their decision.
The OP chose to have sex with this new guy but wasn’t ready to handle the fact that he may have had four other sex partners. She then worked herself up into a hissy fit wondering whether or not he loved these other women as well as other rantings.
I appologize for my sarcastic assholishness (sometimes I don’t realize how jerky I appear until I re-read my words) but again, if you make the decision to play grownup games you better make sure you are emotionally stable to mature enough to handle everything that goes along with it.
The OP’s emotional rant was over something minor. When one chooses to be sexually active, it goes well beyond the physical. There is the emotional aspect (she says she is in love?) as well as responsibility to prevent unwanted pregnancy, STDs, AIDS. Reading the words in the OP, it is clear to me that she is not mature enough to handle the minor things, let alone the biggies.
I also wonder if prior sex partners would cause such heartache for her, why didn’t she ask him before she fucked him?
Just watch out for paper cuts, they hurt like a bitch.
Yeah, but isn’t that something only sluts say?
Just for the record, I didn’t have sex with him yet. I thought I made that semi-clear. 
I’d venture a guess about the reason people are being so hostile to this rant. There is an unstated assumption in the OP that once a person passes a certain number of sexual partners that they are unable (or unwilling) to have a meaningful, loving relationship with anybody ever again. They are damaged goods, so to speak. People who have had more sexual partners than the OP’s arbitrary cut off point are understandably offended.