My husband married me because he wanted to be married to me.
“Why do men get married?”
Because they fall in love. And all questions that involve the words “why” and “love” have the exact same answer.
“Why does she love a man who beats her?” Dunno.
“Why does he love a woman who manipulates him?” Dunno.
“Why are they still in love after fifty years, four children and the ravages of time?” Dunno.
Rational thought doesn’t apply. For instance:
Yes, yes and yes. Hell, there are women who marry serial killers on death row. Love is strange and stupid and wonderful and meaningless and the only thing worth having. Why is love all these things?
Dunno.
My fiance will starve if he doesn’t marry me. McDonald’s just isn’t good for you long-term… I agree with auntie em. I know that I’ll be doing the cooking, cleaning and decorating. I’m better at all of them. Thank you, storyteller for the point about trust. I was going to say something about it, but you beat me to it. Why is he marrying me?
- Love- we want to spend the rest of our lives together.
- Public declaration of love and faithfulness before friends and family. We are going to mean those vows that we’re taking.
- The opportunity to haul long-distince friends up to Canada and have a big party- it’s hard to convince people to come from Arkansas to Canada during winter for any other reason
- Security/trust- I trust him to do the right thing, even if I, say, become brain dead.
- Sex- we’re conservative Christians, and we’re not going to have sex until we’re married.
Not to disparage anyone who chooses not to marry their SO, but I’d really rather have to promise to stay with him- I think the act of vowing will help keep us together during the rough spots. I don’t really want a way out, because I know I’ll probably be tempted to use it, and so will he. A vow is more binding than feelings. My $.O2
My husband married me because “wife” was easier to say than “shameless hussy I shack up with.”
Pay higher taxes: Check. But were both Liberals, so we don’t complain 
Gets bossed around: I’m not really that type of wife. Nor was I that type of girlfriend.
Has less options to get out: Nope. He can still leave and file for divorce. Its a little messier now. But that has much more to do with the house and the kids than with the marriage.
For the record, I didn’t want to get married. It was important to him, not to me.
Also, when we got married, I owned a house, he didn’t. I made more money than he did. I’m still pretty good looking at 35, and few heterosexual men would turn down no-strings sex from me, but since I never really minded being single (nor do I have an overwhelming sex drive that sends me looking for no strings sex), I’m not sure I needed the “insurance” of marriage.
I really didn’t want to get married, I’d been dating Mrs. 95 for about 6 years, and things were going well. She kept asking (read: nagging) me, when we were gonna get married. So finally, I told her April 1st, thinking no sane woman would agree to her “big day” being April Fools Day. Guess I was wrong. I guess, since we have kids now, that the sense of stability created by being married is comforting for them.
“Why Do Men Get Married?”
To give up sex.
>> Why Do Men Get Married?
How else could they beat their wives?
::D&R::
I was asked, and I had nothing better to do for the rest of my life. 
Marriage does not make men live longer.
It only seems that way.
Deciding to get married is not necessarily a decision made purely through intellect, such as choosing a career path or what car to buy.
When I realized I loved the woman who eventually became my wife, nothing else mattered. And, since I wanted to vow to devote my life to being with her, marriage seemed the obvious thing to do.
The OP’s indication that a relationship other than marriage is easier to get out of indicates a flawed (to my mind) aspect of approaching marriage. Divorce has never been an option for me or my wife. Our marriage vows actually mean something to us, two decades later, and we’ve always approached it as an eternal partnership, not with one or the other of us coming out ahead in anything. So, when times have gotten tough, rather than bailing out, we’ve faced the tough times together and emerged stronger in our bond. That’s what marriage is, ideally.
The advantage to being married is that you are married.
Go, Dave! Your wife is very lucky.
I’m still waiting for that mysterious Prince from either Russia or the Balkans to come knocking on my door…
Because their mothers eventually die.
[sub]doh[/sub]
::checks ancestry::
CRAP!
I am sorry I do not have the time to write a lengthy reply but take a look at this article by Steven Landsburg on “Why men pay to stay married”.
http://slate.msn.com/?id=94243
DAVEW0071 wrote:
Oh, brother. And me without a stack of flapjacks.
I married my wife because she said she’d take over all the paperwork.
If you’re implying that my sentiments on love and marriage are too treacly for your tastes, all I can say is, it works for me and Mrs. Dave-Guy. YMMV, of course, but what I said only reflects the reality of my marriage.
Twenty years and still going strong.
My wife and I talked about this once and we agreed that there was something so transitory about just living together (which we did for about a year). No matter how committed we might claim we were, there was still that easy-out about not taking that final step. With one bad argument or one real temptation (of which we’ve had neither thus far), I think we both knew that there would always be that option of just ending it instead of trying to work through it. Without being married, you can’t help but consider it, and that’s not something we ever really wanted. “Actions speak louder than words” my Dad always said and nothing could be more serious to me than to officially, legally proclaim that she is the one I intend to be with forever. Walking the walk and not just talking the talk.
So I pay more taxes–who cares? That’s the only “down side” I can think of. Alas, I’ve never bothered investigating what an unmarried couple can do (re: loans, mortgages, etc.) as easily as a married couple, but I do know that being married means I don’t have to worry about it. My wife is part of everything I do/own/decide, and vice versa. Although I have to consider her in everything I think about pursuing, there are few things I want to do that I don’t have more fun with her there anyway. Also, if we weren’t married, I know each of us would think twice about quitting a job, pursuing a dream, taking a risk in life because in the back of our minds would be that thought you never know; well, we do know. Insurance, bills, future medical concerns, we’ve got each other’s backs.
And to be honest, I love wearing the ring and having everyone know, without saying a word, that there’s someone more valuable than words in my life. The only thing it doesn’t say is how lucky I am to have her there.
Cite, please.
I was under the impression that men and women who have similar experience, similar qualifications and similar amounts of time invested into their careers were paid almost equally. In fact, I think the amount a women is paid less than a man (all other things being equal) was at about 3-4%. Hardly a strong reason / incentive to marry.
May I also ask why you assume men who are married get bossed around ?
auntie em, your reply intrigued me, and made me indulge in a little introspection. I’m almost 26, a college graduate, intelligent, with above average maturity. I’m not ugly, mean, more slovenly than usual, or impolite. In short, I will be considered a decent catch by SOMEONE some day. However, even though some part of me would like a stable, long-tem relationship with a woman, I know it won’t be happening soon.
The reasons for this are varied, and a little selfish. But they have to do with the very things you mentioned as ways men’s wives take care of them. I was raised by a mother who had a very hard time letting me grow up. To be painfully blunt, I felt (fair or not) that she ran my life from birth until I moved out of the state at age 24.
The things you mention above struck me not as helpful ways a woman could influence my life, but as ways in which she would usurp my independence. I identify things like this as being akin to the unwanted control that my mother had over me for far too long, and I find the idea of living that way intolerable. Frankly, I don’t WANT a woman to give me manners, clean up after me, help me dress right, or make my house a “home.” I will run my OWN life, for better or for worse, and the only woman I will tolerate in it is one who lets me do that. As you can imagine, most women have their own ideas of what their role in a marriage would be, and it usually doesn’t include leaving me as I am.
That’s unfortunate, because I think I can objectively say I would be an at least decent husband and father. It’s not any woman’s fault that I equate marital compromise with losing my independence, but then again, I don’t think I’m alone in this regard.