No the *best * is
My dick’s so big it has its own dick.
blessedwolf: Your post reminds me of an old joke:
Q: Why do men give their dicks names?
A: That way they’ll know who’s making their decisions for them.
Pretty please, who’s making your decisions for you?
Oh of course I like you, Euty! But I think you knew that already. 
[sub]besides, when somebody someday creates an SDMB Trivia game, it sure can’t hurt to know that piece of information…:D[/sub]
Thanks. Now I’m reminded my friend joking about being hung like a can of tuna fish… :eek:
God.
:: D&R ::
please note - “wow” (unsarcastic) is EXACTLY the right thing to say when you first see or feel the penis of some bloke you like. It commits you to nothing, but there is no man alive who will not be glad to hear it.
Knowing this will help you deal better with life’s strange vicissitudes. ie you never know when you may neds this information…
oops. See I can spell the big words but not the small shd have been “need” this information
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Redboss *
**
So you’re saying that she doesn’t really think that 4" is good and she’s just lying to make me happy?
Tell me it isn’t so…
I don’t actually know how long it is but I am sick of tripping over it!
That was just pitiful!
Height restriction in the parking garage.
It’s not like I had an obsessive compulsion to measure it. I just like to find out as much as I can about those I love.
I just spent five minutes staring at my computer screen, and I still don’t get this.
And the best big dick joke is “My dick’s so big, when I go to the movies, the popcorn sizes are small, medium, large, and my dick.”
Popcorn surprise? You that’s the old trick where a guy puts his penis in a hole in the bottle of the popcorn & his date finds it later.
But really guys, penis size comes from your genes & surely a race with a penis too small to reproduce would have vanished years ago.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by c_goat *
**
Well, it’s far better to have that sort of reaction than to laugh hysterically…
*Originally posted by ThisYearsGirl *
Ah, just call me St. Asshole and we’ll leave it at that. Time for my nap.
Oh, where’s zyzzyva when you need him? He and a friend went on and on with big dick jokes. The best big dick joke was something about “declaring a People’s Republic of my dick”.
Why do we measure our dicks? I think it’s just one of the need-to-know things, even though the information serves little use. I measured mine once and left it at that. I know how big it is (6" length, 5" circumference, just in case you were wondering), but the actual numbers still don’t matter to me. Whatever the tape measure may have read, I’m happy with what I’ve got regardless.
For me, I don’t get hung-up about the size of a guy’s dick, as long as it looks good and doesn’t have a 90 degree bend in the middle.
I hate to generalise, but I’ve found one thing to remain true on the majority of occasions. Guys who have a big dick and know it sometimes think they have to impress you with it, and insist on using it roughly. The phrase “spit roast” comes to mind. Not nice. I much prefer a guy with an average endowment, who uses it with skill, tenderness and care.
I have to say that the only time my dick was ever measured was by an old girlfriend of mine because she wanted to know. I (until I was about 20 years old) didn’t even know if it was small or large, I had no point of reference. I have since found out, and it is still irrelevant. I also do not have a name for it. Although that kind of saddens me. I’d like to name it. any suggestions?
Okay. It isn’t so.
And you know I’m telling the truth.
PS In case anyone’s interested there are a few other mandatory replies. When people say “can you come to my party/my first sermon/my sanity hearing” the correct initial response is “I’d love to!” You then have a short happy moment together before you add “but I need to check if I can”. And THEN you start lying to make them happy.
So I know where to put the safety tape on the floor of my workshop around the radial arm saw and the belt sander and lathe.