I think many women just don’t want to admit to themselves how shallow they can be, and how much of a double standard they employ. Some behaviors are objectively creepy, but it’s pretty clear to me (having worked for years around bars and nightclubs full of cute women, handsome guys, and less attractive onlookers), that innocuous behavior is chiefly defined as creepy when the actor is less attractive, and as desirable when the actor is good-looking. Men sometimes react the same way, but most men are lowering their standards after a few drinks, so it applies to them far less often.
Just like men who call women lesbians when they them women will also use short-hand descriptions. She may not have meant he was creepy, just that she wasn’t interested in being approached. Some politeness on both sides of this issue would help a lot, but I find it doubtful things will change much.
Let’s talk about the age aspect of physical attractiveness. The other person appears to be 30 years older than you are. Does this or doesn’t this come across as creepy?
One thing that can make behavior seem creepy from a very unattractive man is if the woman thinks that he MUST realize, or at least SHOULD realize, that of she would never be interested in him and so of course his behavior is unwelcome. And that might sound harsh, but it’s not really, it’s just how things work. If an ugly woman goes up and starts hitting on a hot man, he would think “wtf?” just as much.
Anyway though, a normal-acting man who just isn’t very attractive is not going to be considered creepy. Yes, a really attractive man might get some more leeway if he does want to act creepy, but regardless of looks you shouldn’t want to act creepy anyway, so it that’s not a perk the average man should be resentful that he doesn’t have.
Creepiness can often be defined simply as “unwanted advances”. I know that in a perfect world unwanted advances would not be thought creepy if they were handled with tact and discretion (that is, at minimum were not made to clearly inappropriate would-be partners and were not prolonged past the point where they were signalled as unwelcome), but in reality some folks find any unwanted advances “creepy”.
Advances are statistically more likely to be “unwanted” from a guy who is ugly. The fact that women are less judgmental on average about looks, combined with the continued social expectation that men make advances more commonly than women, keep ugly guys making advances, because sometimes they do work.
Seems as simple as that.
Someone on reddit came up with the equation for creepiness as:
Creepiness = ( (Awkwardness x Forwardness) / (Attractiveness) )^Persistence
Which jives with me. Basically, the more attractive you are, the more you get away with. But there becomes a point where it doesn’t matter if you’re attractive, creepy is creepy.
Bolding mine. You’re putting forth an argument that women always use the term in the proper context. Women are just as fallible as men.
There’s even a current commercial going around where young women are in a dance club and she makes a flippant reference to shaking off the “creepers”. Unfortunately I don’t remember the product or I’d link the commercial . But in the context of the commercial it does not come across as her referring to actual dangerous creepy men, more of just men that are annoying her in a dance club. It’s said flippantly and referenced to multiple men.
A man can walk up to a women in a setting where his behaviour is not considered abnormal and yet still be labeled a creeper. It’s does get misused by some women as a way to dismiss if not shame and denigrate men. To argue it never happens is asinine.
Some men do this to take the attention off the man’s behavior and throw the blame back on the woman.
You know who looks like Tom Cruise and is creepy?
Tom Cruise.
This is the best description I’ve seen, and the behavior I’ve most frequently witnessed in clueless creepy guys. Creepers have a poor concept of boundaries, physical and conversational. Being good-looking provides a bit more of a buffer, but not much.
Question # 1: Who is Surreal?
Question # 2: Don’t have testimony about unwanted advances. Do have a big ol’ question about unwarranted assumptions.
Not even gonna ask you to spell ‘assume’. Bear in mind that even though this is IMHO, all fora here have a core principle
of fighting ignorance.
Related to this discussion, here is a case where someone was trolling women on Tinder, using as his profile picture a male model (Francisco Lachowski).
He was using language that many would consider vile or creepy if it were coming from a regular guy, but since it was coming from someone with his looks, women’s responses were playful.
Not saying that women are wrong to act this way, but to claim that this doesn’t happen is to be blind to the obvious.
Women will act that way with cupcakes on Tinder, too.
This isn’t rocket science, dudes.
Hot woman you are friendly with says “I want to suck your cock, whip it out!” = flattering, and if single, probably a welcome invitation
Enormous male who happens to be your boss says “I want to suck your cock, whip it out” = unwelcome and likely threatening.
That’s really all there is to it.
Reading the thread, it doesn’t look to me like a single woman took his over-the-top statements seriously.
I think some of them might have taken the cupcake seriously. 
A part of attractiveness is effort, though. No matter how naturally handsome a guy is, if he is wearing an unflattering style of glasses repaired with duct tape, hasn’t washed his hair in two weeks, and is underdressed, or ridiculously overdressed for the occasion, it will cancel out a lot of his natural attractiveness. Conversely, being well-groomed, choosing a haircut, glasses, and clothes that are flattering on you, whatever you happen to look like, go a long way toward making you look attractive.
The same set of social skills that allow a people to clue into looking right for the occasion, and good in general, are the skills that help him to know that a woman with her face stuck in a book doesn’t want to be hit on by Adonis with a fresh paycheck and a negative HIV test-- and that women who are looking to be hit on still are “look but don’t touch” until you’ve been talking for a while.
It’s not like attractiveness is an immalleable quality, that people either have or do not have. It’s over a continuum, and you are somewhere within a range on the continuum.
I’d like to make sure I’m getting this straight. Apparently if I’m not good looking I’m not supposed to approach women who don’t want guys who are not good looking approaching them. Is that right? And then if I do, then I’m creepy, or at least I’m going to get called creepy. Is that right? And how am I supposed to know that I’m approaching a woman who doesn’t want a guy who is not good looking to approach her?
Don’t approach crazy bitches, and you’re good. Or you can assume crazy bitch behavior by all women and see how well that works for you.
(Or maybe, you know, assume not all women are that way.)
Social cues, dude. Not many men seem to pay attention to this. When a woman is interested in you, she will give you signals. In body language and in speech. If she is uninterested she will show that too. Pay attention. Do not hit on women who are uninterested. Simple as that.
I have a friend who’s in fantastic shape; better than the vast majority of people. It’s a nice swimmer’s build too - nothing bulky. Every single time he gets rejected by a woman he tries to extreme diet because he’s absolutely convinced the only possible reason for his failure is being too fat.
It’s sad, but also kind of amazing to hear how sincerely he seems to believe it. It doesn’t seem to have ever crossed his mind it could be some other problem. I believe the true problem is his personality and desperation, but I always want to ask something like, “You’re already really thin. Why are you so sure it’s not because you’re balding? What if women want you to get your teeth whitened? Why weight?”