It depends on what the goal is for you. If climax is the goal then a consistent motion, much like intercourse. If it is just foreplay, then just have fun, maybe a little testicle action would be nice. I have to admit that I get turned on by a woman who tries to um… go all the way down but that really isn’t that important.
Well this is the thing–and I know some people might not agree – but if you don’t want to take it all the way in, don’t. If you don’t want to swallow, don’t. It seems like it would be pretty unsexy to have someone do all the things they feel like they’re ‘‘supposed to’’ do with no enthusiasm whatsoever. It’s possible to give pleasure without doing these things–you can do it your own way, whatever makes you feel comfortable, and still be mind-blowing at it.
Hmmm, sometimes I love blowjobs and sometimes they don’t do anything for me. I suspect as said often already that a lot of it has to do with enthusiasm. If I feel like it’s just being done as a favor to me, then I find myself barely feeling anything. If the girl is going wild slobbering like a crazed wolverine then my rocks be going off, and how!
As for technique, I find lack of hand usage to be an issue. For me, it’s not really intense sucking and licking that feels the best, but up and down motion combined with the lick-suck tag team. Hands can also wander down to the taint for extreme eye-popping waves of delight. Also, dont neglect the balls!
About the teeth thing, I think it partly has to do with oral anatomy. My current GF has really large, protrudting teeth. They are even and beautiful, but I think it’s hard to for her to give a BJ without my cap getting pinched. It’s painful, but it’s not really so painful as it arouses primal fear, which distracts from the pleasure and causes intense shrinkage.
I don’t have problems looking someone in the eye while doing them by hand or mouth (although you can make a shy boy nearly go to pieces that way) but my arms definitely get tired after a very short time of jerking a man off. It’s kind of embarrassing, but I find that at this stage of life, I don’t give nearly as many hand jobs as I used to.
No (although it seems that deliberately drawing it out that long has to be a painful experience for most women); but by that point I definitely know whether or not I’m going to get off, and usually when someone’s gone that far it’s pretty clear that she could keep going for another three hours and I wouldn’t get anywhere. Which, yes, I attribute to bad technique.
Well, “no teeth” really is a good place to start. I think some women think that a little dental action can’t hurt, either because that’s often the case for women or because they actually sucked off a guy who liked it (I’ve heard of it), but even the slightest tooth contact can totally ruin it for most men. (For me, anyway.) It’s really important to emphasize that unless a specific man has specifically and explicitly asked you to use teeth (I’m using the general “you” here, of course), even a fractional element of toothage has the potential to at least slow down the process quite a bit.
Also, I agree with black rabbit about the handjob part, except that it usually takes me more than two minutes, and that when I’ve been asked to masturbate in front of someone I’ve been pretty self-conscious about it. I’ve never actually done it. I guess I should try to get over that. But a crucial key to my self-service process is that it’s fast. I don’t mean it’s over quickly, I mean that the, um, strokes are fast and furious. Well, I start out slow, then gradually ramp it up. That’s the other key, actually: get a consistent rhythm going and gradually ramp up the tempo until you reach terminal velocity. (For me, anyway.)
I’ve heard the same thing about onions. I’m not a big fan of either, but a lot of girls seem to like cinnamon, so maybe I should invest in some…
I know it’s taken as gospel that all men need ball attention during a blowjob, but it’s simply not true. I can’t stand it. Completely ruins the experience.
I’m really not a fan of ball handling either. Even if it doesn’t hurt, I keep thinking about my fragile balls, and having my poor balls squeezed is all I can think about during the experience.
Also, sometimes girls will start to get tired and will periodically take 5 second breaks, when in reality, every 5 second break adds at least another 3 minutes to the total time it takes to come.
As noted previously, to be good at it you really need to enjoy it. I don’t know how you get past this if the whole procedure seems distasteful. My experience is from the gay side of this equation, so ladies, YMMV. With those caveats, and as someone who has often left guys cross-eyed and whimpering, here are my top 10 tips:
Don’t be shy. Make eye contact. As pleasurable as the physical sensation might be, for a lot of guys it’s as much of a turn-on to watch you doing it, and liking it. Keeping your head down the whole time makes you just a bobble-headed machine. Look up once in a while, watch him watching you do it. Pause to look him in the eye, hold it against your face, and lick it like a kid with a popsicle (a nice warm-up routine, that one, though also effective as a pause in the action).
Use your whole mouth. If you’re just using lips and appear to be avoiding much contact otherwise, he’ll think you really don’t want to do this at all. Let it slide along the roof of your mouth, use your tongue. Don’t just put it in; envelop it. Get it all in and instead of sucking, take a moment to work your tongue on and around it.
Mind the teeth. This goes without saying. However, once you’re good at this, and he knows you know what you’re doing and won’t scratch, you don’t need to be paranoid about a little contact with the teeth. You will of course know if you have sharper-edged ones, and where they are, and avoid those. For beginners and intermediate practitioners, though, steering clear is wise.
Test your gag reflex. Even if you haven’t learned to suppress it (and it can be learned), take it to your limit, under your own control. You’ll get better. Meanwhile, the sensation (for him) of having it hit some resistance, feeling it packed in as far as it can go, can be fantastic. Also, a little minor gagging can be yet another turn-on in itself if you can carry on as if it doesn’t really matter. (As you get better at this, you’re also going to need to pace your breathing and sync it with the back-of-the-throat action.)
Use your hands. If you can’t get it all in, use your hands to create an extension of your mouth. (I’ve had to do this myself, twice.) Play with the balls (gently). Caress the hips, run your hands up over his stomach, down along the thighs. Make it a fuller sensual experience with his dick as merely the focus, but not the exclusive focus. If you’re skilled enough (or he’s, y’know, short enough) to get it all inside comfortably, slide a hand or two around to grab his ass and pull him into you.
Vary the pace, vary the technique. It’s not a one-speed operation. You want to build to a climax, literally and figuratively. Work the top part, then the whole thing, then back off and repeat. Make it unpredictable. Don’t just bob up and down; throw in some twisting motions. Suck lightly, suck harder. Let him wonder when you’re going to get back to his favorite part again, build his anticipation. Drive him nuts.
Let him take over from time to time. If you reach a moment where he’s thrusting a little, slow down what you’re doing and let him keep doing it. Try it sometime by lying on your back and let him kneel over you (prop your head forward with a pillow for this). Getting your face gently fucked is not quite the same as giving a great blow job, but it’s a really hot variation on the basic premise. (This assumes he realizes he’s responsible not to simply pound away as you gag.)
Learn his trigger. This is critical. Guys do not all reach orgasm the same way. The sensitive areas that trigger it might be at the top, near the base, wherever. The pace and pressure with which to stimulate them effectively varies too. You need to find out what gets him off. Pay attention to his reactions. When you succeed, pay attention to what you’re doing at the time, so you can do it again next time. Or, tell him you’d be turned on by watching him jerk off, and then watch closely what he’s doing, and how, especially when he reaches orgasm. Think about how you can replicate that orally. Also, once you know how to push his button, don’t start with that. Build up to it.
At the critical moment, close the deal. If you’ve done all this, worked him into a panting frenzy and hit the right spots at the right pace, and he’s just about to blow, don’t suddenly speed up or change things. Once he’s actually into orgasm, that’s different, that’s the time to slow down, suck a little harder, finish it off warmly, deeply, savoring the moment. Show him that it’s your reward for a job well done, not just his.
Swallowing is the cherry on the cake, but if you don’t want to, if you’ve done the rest of it well, it shouldn’t matter. However – don’t make a face and spit it out like it’s toxic. Take your bow, as it were, by removing it slowly from your mouth, lick your lips with it, wipe some on your face if you don’t mind (hey, it’s all protein and good for your complexion).
I hope some of this is useful. Remember, sex is psychological. It’s not just about the sensation. You’re providing the complete experience of devoting your attention to the part of his body that has commanded a disproportionate amount of his attention since puberty. Happy sucking!
Enthusiasm, enthusiasm, enthusiasm.
If she enjoys going down on me, that makes ALL the difference. There isn’t a single technique, or series of moves that always works. Sometimes the quickie is perfect, other times she’s going to take her time, and control then ending.
Oh yeah. That’s a big one too.
Well, this thread ruins my “There’s no such thing as a bad BJ” line :smack:
I guess it would be wrong of me to say that ** jaydotbeedot**'s post should be a sticky?
damn jay, That post even gave me a woody, and I’m not even gay. Stick around.
That’s what she said.
OK, OK, I admit it, it was my fault. For all those years of dating, no matter how medicore the blow job, I would scream and yell how fantastic she was in order to give her positive reinforcement at doing it. In my defense, it worked and girls who had never even attempted it before would begin the day between my legs and end the day by smiling up at me. So I am so sorry about doing this to the world, but forgive me please, but I love blow jobs and even a bad blow job is better than no blow job.
OK
tvtime, you are ruining it for us man. Make them think that they need to try harder. 
A small but vocal minority did indeed try to remedy this situation, but the bitter fruit of our efforts was only a lifetime banning from all district schoolboard meetings.
(and if you though that was an uphill battle, imagine the anilingus wing’s reception)
oh my.
Argh!
Preach it, sister.
It’s true about onions. Maybe not for everyone (the same way not everyone gets asparagus pee) but it’s not a risk you want to take. They may be a fine addition to a salad or a burger, but not a blowjob. For the love of all that is good and human, if you think someone’s going to be visiting your special place, unless they reeeally love onions, please refrain from eating them beforehand!
Oh, and refraining from coffee wouldn’t hurt either.