In reading a number of Straight Dope answers, I get the impression that Cecil really, really doesn’t like cats. Why might this be so?
WRS
Why would anyone like cats?
Probably because cats suck.
Yeah, some of these people have a problem with independent, nearly self-sufficient animals whose love must be earned.
They prefer dogs, who will love anyone that feeds them. Understandable.
You have to earn love? What is it, some kind of reward that only the greatest creatures can bestow upon we simpering fools? Hogwash.
Yup
If I want an independent, self sufficient animal who’s love must be earned, I’ll get myself a girlfriend. No hairballs, and I wouldn’t have to keep a box for her to shit in…
Of course, I’m not much of a dog person either.
-FK
If you had to be a dog or a cat, which would you be? Assuming you wanted to keep a little dignity, that is.
My point is, I respect cats more than dogs.
For it to be worth anything, yes.
Good luck.
Oh, just kidding.
The secret’s in the sauce.
I like cats. Mmmmm…yummy char-grilled cats.
Worth anything? Good lord, I’m glad I’m not you or your SO.
“Yes, you’re very attractive and all that, but I’m afraid you have to earn my love. See this lovely chart I’ve created just for you. See, there you are, near the bottom. Now, if you earn the right amount of points, you’ll move up. But if you displease me, you’ll move down. First up, the physical challenges …”
Cats are dirty, disgusting, filthy kick-toys that lick their own anus ON PURPOSE!
And you wonder why The Great One may find them offensive?
Someones gotta go back and git a shitload of dimes!
so when dogs lick their asses, they’re doing iy accidentally???
so when dogs lick their asses, they’re doing it accidentally???
well, guess that proves you can’t stop the hamsters in mid-submit in order to correct a typo.
When a dog licks his ass, he makes it look fun!
HA! Obviously you’ve never had a girlfriend before!
just kidding. I love you all
Of course Cecil hates cats, he’s the smartest man in the world! Personally, I have no use for a pet that won’t even wait until it’s starving to start eating me if I were to die alone in my apartment. also, I don’t understand all this about earning a cat’s love, these disgusting feline hellbeasts obviously do not have the capacity to love.
He’s just never had one that was cooked properly. As NoClueBoy pointed out, the secret is in the sauce. Also, presentation is an important part of the meal. Maybe you could serve it with some seasonal vegetables, on a bed of lettuce or something.
Who said dogs ** are not** dirty and disgusting as well? They are, just to clear that up. They lick their assholes too, but it usually isn’t such a deliberate act, like a cat. Dogs will sniff around and take a stab at it once or twice, but for GOD’S SAKE they don’t sit there in the middle of the floor and do it over and over for a half hour while looking at you like some kind of crazed homeless person!
Two axioms of life: Never kiss an animal that can lick its own ass.
Never let an animal that can’t wipe its own ass on the furniture (or even inside!).
Email: Obfuscating communication for over a decade!