Why I hate my students

Just another day of the fucking idiots that like to call themselves “college students”.

  1. I’m not your mother. I don’t give two hoots about your life and why it made you such an asshole. Just do your work and get it to me on time.

  2. Don’t come to me and ask me to “give” you ANYTHING! I don’t “Give” out grades. Believe it or not, you “earn” them! I don’t “give” 4.0s anymore than I “give” a failing grade.

  3. KNOCK IT OFF WITH THE PLAGERIZING!! I know you don’t believe this, but I’m pretty well read in my subject matter. If I don’t recognize work right away as a specific author I WILL look it up. It is blatantly obvious when you plagiarize because you are BARELY literate!

  4. Don’t come crying to me. I’m willing to let a little slide if a family member died, but if you think “I was hung over” is a good excuse you’re wrong!!

  5. Don’t come to my office hours with questions unless you actually know what they are! “I’m stuck” and “I don’t get it” are not concise enough. Come with a specific question and I will give you a specific answer. “I don’t get Chpts 4 through 17” is NOT a question is an acknowledgement of your stupidity.

  6. I am NOT a prospective date. I know that because I’m young and female you may THINK I am, but thinking is was got you into trouble in the first place. Besides, I don’t date prepubescent morons.

  7. You are NOT allowed ANY opinions until you are 21 or well read. Whichever comes first. I don’t want to hear ANY of your parents bullshit falling out of your mouth. IF you have an opinion, you had BEST be able to back it up with fact.

  8. A good sense of humor will go far. I’ve been known to give credit on tests when the answer was wrong, but made me laugh.

  9. I WILL fail you. It doesn’t bother me one bit. Therefore I don’t care if you: get thrown out of your sorority/frat, school, team, or family. REALLY!!

  10. Kiss my ass. It helps prepare you for the real world where you will have a boss.

Thank you.
Have a Nice Day


Not bad, not bad.

I give it a 4.5 (on a scale of 10) for a debut rant.

Good thing I am over 21 and well-read on one or two subjects, or my opinion wouldn’t count.
Welcome to the Pit, lady. I hope you enjoy your stay here. Some folks will respond to a pit thread when they don’t have anything bad to say and add
“Oh yeah, since this is the pit, fuck off!”
but not me.

I have never taught a class of people, so I can’t identify with your plight directly. I have been a student in a class or two, and I have noticed that more than half of my classmates are total shmucks. So I can see where you’re coming from, if you can but dig it.

We’re not all bad, are we? You’re just mad right? I am sure you have at least one good student, right?

Don’t make me come down there and ace your class, lady…

By the way, what class is it? What type of school?


I’m gonna C&P this and print it out and keep it for when I go to college =)

That sucks!! And here I thought I was doing SO well!

This is just a mid-semester rant. Wait until finals!!! Then I get the REAL beauties.

Right now I am teaching “Molecular Pathogenesis” at a major University. I probably shouldn’t say which one because folks will know who I am (since I’m the only prof. teaching the class) and potentially I could get into a lot of trouble.

I’ll give you a 7.5: very interesting.

Can’t wait until finals. I think you have good ranting potential. Although I have to point out that college students, most likely, are not prepubescent. Just thought I’d let you know. :slight_smile:
Oh yeah, since this is the pit, fuck off!
(I don’t normally do this, but had to because of Lexi. ;))

Well, I was going to cut you some slack, because I figured you were a TA, working for your master’s and being forced to teach so you could stick to your studies, but since you added that you’re a professor:

Why the fuck are you a teacher if you hate your students so much? Is it not enough that you are grinding your own soul into a sticky paste by doing something you obviously hate? Do you really need to compound that tragedy by inflicting such venomnous attitudes on your students?

As a professor, your primary obligation is to educate. Not research your favorite pet project, not publish an incestuous, colleague butt-rimming, ass kissing paper, not lovingly felch a foundation chair for more grant money, but teach.

If your students don’t have a grasp of personal responsibility or academic tenacity, you’ve got a golden chance to make it plain what their obligations are and what it takes to make the grade in your class. The fact that they’re coming up to you in the middle of the term unclear about these things means that you were the one who missed the first boat, not them.

Maybe if you adhered to the principles of teaching, your students wouldn’t be pulling this crap. There are metric tons of people out there who would kill and maim for a faculty position. Why not give them a chance to fulfill their dreams and stop damaging yourself and your students?

I know they’re not prepubescent, but I couldn’t think of a good and insulting word. Besides, they sure ACT like 5th graders!

I know you! You taught biology when I was in junior high school!

Bitch. I hated you then, and I hate you now!

And, yes, it was I who that threw the orange that barely missed your head and left that beautiful stain on the blackboard.

Now, turn around, discard your holier-than-thou attitude, and teach! While you’re at it, try to be a little less obscure. That way, I won’t have to pester you with questions like, “What the fuck does that have to do with anything?”

(Just in case that wasn’t you…never mind.)



I don’t hate ALL of my students, but when I started, I thought I could be a good little professor and teach my class and do some research, and life would be sunny. But you have NO idea what students put us through. We are now considered “Producers”. The product I am supposed to produce is a high grade. I would say that about 25-50% of my classes should not be here. They have no interest in the subject matter and just want to walk out of here with a degree.

You have no idea what what it is like for a non-tenured prof to go through.

I am not taking away a job from anyone. Get a Ph.D. We need profs like crazy!! I’m already teaching two more classes than I’m supposed to. In fact, I’m teaching a class that I never even got a Doctorate in!

I make my expectations VERY clear. I even make copies of my old test available to all students because I know that the Greeks have them. In a class of 30 do you know how many came and picked them up? TWO!!

Two fucking students cared.
I DEFY you to try to even TA a class. They put our TAs though hell!!

Come back when you know what you’re talking about.

I would normally agree with phouka about the teaching stuff, however: bio-brat teaches in college. This means, unlike high-school, where students are pretty much forced to take class X with teacher Y, they choose what classes they wish to take. They choose what they wish to study. Therefore, a much more significant onus is on the student for their education in college than it is in high school or prior. I, personally, would hate to teach anyone who really didn’t want to learn (which is probably why I’m not a teacher).

Too many people see college as a time/place to have wild parties, see how many times they can get laid, and generally get drunk and stupid at every opportunity. Then, when (or if) they graduate, they wonder why the best they can do is a job in which you have to ask, “You want fries with that?” Maybe if more people would take the opportunity and the responsibility to LEARN something while they’re in college, the U.S. wouldn’t be so full of slack-jawed, inbreeding idiots.

Since this is the Pit, bio-brat, I say, “Fuck 'em.” Not literally, of course. Fail them all, give the morons something to think about.

Lexicon: If you havent taught a class of people what have you taught? No you’re not ALL bad. The good students are what keep me here. I love it whan people ace my class. It means that I’m actually doing what I’m supposed to be doing. What got this started today was a kid that I had NEVER seen in class coming to my office with questions. I have only 32 students in this class. Did he think I wouldn’t notice?!?!

Rysad Unless you’re from inner city Detroit then I wasn’t your teacher. I taught a summer there and I really liked it. But I was a Chem teacher.

Mauve Dog Perfect. There isn’t a damn thing I could add.

Well, we don’t like you either, Ms. God. I’m glad I was never your student.

To an extent I agree with the OP. To many of the students I’ve known and watched think that things are to be handed to them on a platter. And if you think the teacher isn’t teaching you, or can’t teach worth a fig, drop the fucking class asshole. You have that choice you know. Don’t expect to pass on your good looks alone, cause good looks don’t come out real well on paper.

Oh, I should point out, I generally liked the teachers that didn’t take shit from the students, meant that they could concentract on teaching. Note I didn’t say I liked teachers that were dictatoring martinettes, and who felt they were the end all of knowledge. I liked the ones whom would discuss the topics in class, ask the proper questions, and engage in debate if called for, they just wouldn’t let students hijack the class or ignore the subject or topic at hand. You did that, you’d find life was hard.

On numbers 5 and 10, you are wrong.

I’ll cut you some slack on number 5: the clown that shows up looking for a private tutorial on material that they have not read deserves no more than a boot in the butt. However, it is simply not that rare for even an intelligent person to miss some critical point that holds together an entire theory or a system’s design. There is nothing in the world more frustrating than knowing the meaning of every word on a page and being unable to make any sense of the text. At that point, there is no question that one can ask. If you’re sending away those kids, you need better skills at distinguishing the confused from the lazy. (Case in point. I nearly flunked HS algebra because nothing the teacher said sounded like he was speaking English. Every other guy in the class picked up everything he said, so I know he was not a bad teacher. After college I took a remedial algebra class, just because I did not want to go through life with no understanding of the subject. I aced the course with very little effort. Somewhere in the ten intervening years my brain had opened a circuit to accept algebraic thought. Had I gotten a bit more personal attention, initially, I might have had that circuit open sooner. (It was not the teacher’s fault; since I was the only kid in the class who didn’t get it, I avoided any discussions on it and never asked for help.))

It may be the way of the world for you to demand ass-kissing. It has nothing to do with teaching. I have never kised ass for a teacher or a boss. Those that have demanded such attention have found themselves being laughed at by my peers as I routinely used my apparent ass-kissing to mock them. Showing everyone that you need/want/deserve ass-kissing simply confirms the old story that in order to be a boss, you have to be an ass.

I’m going to back up bio-brat on this one. And yes, I do know what I’m talking about. In addition to intro bio TA duties for a year, I’ve taught marine biology, ecology, and anatamy/physiology at the university level. Classes ranging from 12 to 200 students. Labs and lectures. Add that to general biology classes and A/P at a community college, and I’ve experienced the whole range of post-high school students.

Of course there are wonderful students. Those are the ones who come up to you after the semester and tell you that even though you weren’t easy, they learned a lot and appreciated the challenge. Some of my most professionally fulfilling moments were those when a student who ‘hated’ me in the beginning realized the benefits of being challenged in a diffucult but fascinating subject.

Then there are the other students. Do you know how frustrating it is to practically beg for students to come by during office hours, and rarely (if ever) have anyone show up? Hey, if you don’t care that you are failing, why should I? Most instructors will bend over backwards to help a struggling student who really shows an effort.

The students who take a class only because they think they have found the crib course to satisfy the natural science requirement. Well, marine biology is not just telling stories about flipper. If you don’t want to learn about ocean circulation and decide to skip that class, well, don’t come crying to me when you miss those questions on the test.

You think I don’t know what your attendance patterns are? So, you think you can get by only showing up for the review and the exam? Hey, youse takes your chances, youse pay de price. You’re an adult now! If you forget that, just check your fake ID.

I should have said “I have never taught a class at an institution of higher learing and therefore I cannot truly empathize with your situation. I have been a student at an institution of higher learing and have noticed that several of my fellow students were royal clas-A putzes.”

But I didn’t think you were that snooty. I am a trainer/supervisor at my place of employment, so the people I teach are usually smart and if they aren’t they keep their mouths shut and at least pretend to listen. And being that I run only 3 hour long classes one week out of the month, I didn’t think I could correlate the two.

In any event, smart ass, I think an adequate reply would be structured thus:

“If you haven’t taught a class of people, what have you taught?”

“I tried to teach a class of pigs to sing, but it only annoyed me and pissed off the pigs.”*

But I got caught up in the “My brain’s bigger than yours!” air of this thread.


*I know, I know, it should be “…pissed the pigs off.” I am confident in my linguistic and communicative skills to the degree that I feel I can take some license. Thanks.
You pedant! :stuck_out_tongue:

I whole-heartily agree with bio-brat. I taught a first year physics course last year and it was a totally miserable and frustrating experience. I would walk to school cursing every morning that I had to teach. I will never ever do it again. Most faculty avoid first year courses like the plague although beginning profs don’t have that luxury.

If you think that teaching is the first priority of a professor, then why do they have to research and publish like maniacs to get tenure? My partner is a new faculty member and has to work ridiculous hours to keep up with all the work in addition to all sorts of crap she has to put up with from students.

Scientists like bio-brat do not get PhD’s to be teachers, but scientists. By the time you’re in university you shouldn’t require the attention you received in grade school.

That being said, it is nice to have professors that make sense and good students (polite and hardworking, not necessarily the top marks) are a real pleasure.

I’m really not. I just think that my class shouldn’t be “skate”.

I’m sorry Lexicon. It was a joke.

I am very clear in my expectations. I give out a full syllabus the first day and am happy when folks come to my office hours. However, I am unwilling too teach 10 weeks of class in an hour because someone was too lazy to attend class. I come in hung over, I think they should (that too is a joke). This was a standardized rant aimed at no one in particular. I’m just tired of my students thinking that they have paid for a grade.

Maybe it is time to go into another line of business, but I think I’m very good at what I do.

i like my students. and, trust me, mine are a lot less mature than yours. :wink:

(never mind that my students are all 4 and 5 years old…)