Why? The OP didn’t specify he was talking about appearance.
I have a thing for south-central Italian urban women as well.
It does remind me a little of something Ambivalid once related on these boards. (I hope I’m telling this right Ambi, and that you don’t mind?) He wrote how he was getting to know someone online, and it turned out they were only interested in his atrophied legs as a sexual fetish. They weren’t actually interested in him as a person, or not primarily anyway.
When you think of that situation, suddenly you think how wrong and disgusting that is. How that objectifies someone, as if they are not a complete human being but only that one specific characteristic.
If someone only dates Asian women, it looks as if they are primarily interested into them being Asian, rather than them being cool people that you hit it off with.
Of course you can have “a type”. But it seems to me like there is a spectrum of “type”, where on one end you are into everyone but just happen to be attracted to brunettes a little more, and on the other end you only/primarily care that a person looks specifically Korean. There is a lot in between the two ends of the spectrum, but for some reason you tend to hear a lot about men being into Asian women. And it may be just a sort of pop cultural meme or something, but a lot of the time it tends towards the creepy end of the spectrum. So my guess is that’s why it’s disparaged.
I think that might be a common reaction . . . Among actual Asian males. They are looking for someone their own mothers would find acceptable, after all.
Agreed.
I think it’s jealousy.
I see that you have fallen for that stupid urban myth that Asian women are submissive. They are hardly submissive, although they don’t tend to be overly dominant like another category of women are.
However, they certainly are ( usually ) feminine, unless they grew up in a western country.
you need to read her post again. just because a guy expects something doesn’t mean it is so.
on the other hand, what are you saying? western-born Asians aren’t feminine? are you also implying, by extension, that girls in western countries aren’t feminine?
I can’t speak for all western countries, but in the ones that I have lived in, yes, IMO women are on the whole not feminine. I have also lived in Asian countries, and for the most part the women are extremely feminine, though becoming less so with the intrusion of western culture.
You can thank Germaine Greer and her clique for that, as she stated that her aim is to stop women being feminine, and to a large part, has succeeded.
BTW, dressing in “sexy” or revealing clothing does not make a woman “feminine”.
I think that is really a different issue. IMHO, it’s a little cowardly to give in to bigots like that, but I totally get that an uncooperative family can make your life hell and if your family is going to be against your relationship at every turn, it’s often not worth it.
In those cases, there is often more to it than race, as well. I think a lot of Chinese mothers would also have issues with a Japanese girlfriend, for example.
Now if you, personally, believe only an Asian woman is suited to produce the heir and pass down the family name? That’s screwed up.
:dubious:
I don’t think it’s possible for “women are on the whole” to not be feminine, since something being associated with women in a culture is what makes something feminine.
It is by far easier for me to find Asian women with a similar approach to life as myself. It has nothing to do with physical. I find them curious, creative, intelligent, sensitive, sensous, logical, controlled, emphatic, and many of them tend to interpet fun the same way I do. I would admire these traits in any woman but they seem to pop up more in the Asian women I have come across. I also like hanging out with asian men. No I am not gay.
Even if I’m Anglo-Saxon?
Is this not the same concept asked in the OP? White guys attracted to Asians because they are Asian. Asian women attracted to white guys because they are white? or because they are American? How do Asian guys feel about that?
does that mean you seek them out exclusively? both men and women that is
Not at all, but I do find myself to gravitate toward then in social settings. I would estimate about 30% of the women I have dated were Asian and about an equal amount of male Asian friends, very rough estimate.
Can you see how people might get rubbed the wrong way by the implication that they are more likely to be unintelligent, illogical, less sensuous, etc.? Indeed the whole idea seems absurd. I’m white- does that mean I have much in common with Margaret Thatcher, Paris Hilton and Marie Curie?
I think it’s hard for some people to understand why people would object to being objectified. I’d have absolutely no problem with it for a non-serious relationship. And, frankly, that’s how a lot relationships with men work. They initially objectify a woman because they find her hot, and then grow to love her personality, too–it blossoms from a casual to a full relationship. It seems odd to us that you would object to this, as it’s just one of the main ways relationships work.
Are you women telling me that you’ve never seen a guy, thought he was hot, dated him to get to know him, and then later found out that you were long-term relationship material? Because you initially objectified him–in your mind, he was just some hot guy before you got to know him.
It’s not the objectification of Asian women that is objectionable, in my opinion. It’s the racism. Only dating one ethnicity is unusual, and racism is often a reason for doing so, so people are rightfully suspicious. I’ve noticed that Asian women are more likely to be hot than other ethnicities myself, but I’m not exclusively attracted to them. Chances are, you wouldn’t see me with a stream of different Asian girlfriends.
Not that there isn’t a bit of bigotry involved here, too. I may not really be an anime-lover, but that derogatory term, implying a mental defect in the people involved, is just so insulting. Particularly because it’s apparently an acceptable form of bigotry right now. If it weren’t so insulting, it would be funny, as the only people who even know the term are already pretty nerdy themselves, and are already looked down upon for that trait.
Wha? No it’s not. Not if it’s the same ethnicity as you.
Last I checked, you weren’t entitled to not be insulted by someone else’s preferences. It’s not as if the guy is going around telling women that they aren’t as smart, sensuous, or logical as Asian women. It is perfectly okay to have a preference.
Not that your statement even follows logically from his–he said that Asian people, in his experience, are more likely to have those traits he desires. He’s not saying to anyone that they individually don’t have those characteristics.
There is a more intellectual culture amongst those of (East) Asian decent than there is in other subcultures, whether you like it or not. And, unlike other cultures like this, there are more clearly defined gender roles. If those are your preferences, it just stands to reason that you would fit in better with that culture than with others. There’s no reason to assume racism in this case.
And, again, without racism, there’s nothing wrong with a preference. The problem mentioned in this thread is only if you are attracted to Asian people because you think they are inferior. If it just happens that Asian people more often have the traits you are looking for, that’s perfectly fine.
I mean, how many times have you met a white guy or girl who gets along better with black people? Why is that okay, but some guy who gets along better with Asian people a problem? Is it a problem that I prefer to hang out with women rather than men? Is it a problem that I think that guys, on the whole, are less likely to be emotionally open? Does that make me misandristic?
Only dating one ethnicity is unusual, and racism is often a reason for doing so, so people are rightfully suspicious
uhhhh, what?? are you speaking white guy only dating asian women? how is that racist? If a white guy refused to date an asian women because she was asian or visa versa that would be bigoted and perhaps racists…