Heh. 
Is this really the way things are? If so, that’s really sad, and I don’t mean that with any snark at all. That’s not how my love relationships have ever been, but maybe things are changing.
Masturbating to porn and having sex with your girlfriend are two separate but complementary things.
Like practicing the guitar alone to be better when playing with your band.
I’m still hung up on why porn is considered to be an epidemic. I just can’t see it - it’s not like the human population is dropping because 90% of the men are masturbating to porn rather than having sex.
And I’d really like to find out when “before widely available porn” happened. There are pornographic cave paintings, for goodness sake.
Porn isn’t an epidemic, it’s being consumed commensurate with its availability, which has greatly expanded. If your great-great-great grandfather had had access to PornHub, he’d have been locked in the reading room with his breeches down around his buckle shoes.
Because the girlfriend/wife isn’t a robot that will have sex with me whenever I please. She’s asleep. Or at work. Or out with friends. Or cooking dinner while washing my clothes and asking if I want another beer. Could be anything, really.
Because sometimes, you’re tired or she’s tired, and having sex with another live human is too much effort but someone still wants an orgasm.
That’s the most common reason in my household, anyway.
- Porn doesn’t get mad when you pick up more porn
- Porn doesn’t make you sit through every Twilight film
- Porn doesn’t mind if you want it ten times a day
- Porn never has a headache
- Porn doesn’t judge you if you finish early
- Porn doesn’t have annoying relatives
- Porn knows when to keep quiet
My sex drive is alot higher than my partners. Without masturbating, to porn or without it, I’d be horny and annoyed most of the time. It isn’t about prefering it, it’s about taking care of what needs taking care of.
Even if that were the case, there’s a case to be made that that’s not a bad thing.
Porn is patient, porn is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Porn does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves
I feel it’s necessary to break through a higher wall today, to really play the commodity male and do it well, before you can find a meaningful relationship to commit to. After that is when the good stuff happens.
I don’t know what that means. I just use it to jerk off.
Oh, that’s not at all onerous - it’s nice to be able to practise a skill, and fulfilling someone else’s appetites can be at least as enjoyable as getting your own taken care of, if not more so. It’s the two or three weeks of excuses for not being in the mood that gets wearing to negotiate. After a while you’d just as soon indulge yourself by watching some wild and unrealistic fantasy, such as a fit woman participating in sex with enthusiasm, expertise and enjoyment. It may be as realistic as pro wrestling but there’s plenty who find that floats their boat too.
/grumpy sod
I’m cracking up reading these replies, thanks guys for your honesty and humor. I have a similar question in IMHO forum, but it was suggested I post it here, in GQ. I’m confused. Anyway, THANKS!! Peace.
What does that have to do with the sexual revolution? Men have always had to pay for most sex in one fashion or another, barring rape.
Please then, come over and explain to my husband how nice it is to fulfill my needs. Because he seems to have forgotten. And I have only a handful of times in the 7 years of our acquaintance given him anything other than an enthusiastic “let’s go!” to his requests.
Do they use a tuning fork, or what?
Enderw24, that made me fall out laughing. Especially considering Paul’s general attitude toward sex.
Anyway, basically what **WhyNot **said. Sometimes you want to have sex with another person, sometimes you want to have sex by yourself. What’s the big deal?
As for the question of the mythical “time before porn,” I know for sure that the Victorians had some serious porn. So much twisted stuff, from some of the most repressed people in history.
I agree with this. Unrealistic expectations for women are as much of a problem - if there is a problem - as they are for men. I was in a relationship with a woman for six months who was so kinky that we might as well have brought out cameras and made some money on the internet (she suggested it at least once). Because of this relationship, I had problems in future relationships because I was used to an extreme that other women weren’t willing to give. The extreme had become the norm, so I went through a period when I was watching a lot of porn, where the extreme is also the norm, before I realized that most women in real life weren’t like that. Ironically, even with that girl I still watched porn because there was a lot less pressure to perform well each and every time.
True, but when women had no economic autonomy, they couldn’t afford to be as demanding. Now they can earn a living, but does that relieve men’s obligation to be success objects? Hell no, because they can choose their partners, and by and large their choices conform to hunter-gatherer evo-psych twaddle.
This has nothing to do with why men use porn. Social pariahs who will never get laid once use it, as do men happily married to hot loving wives who enjoy sex frequently.
Also, you may not have heard this yet, but along with the last couple decades of the sexual revolution came FREE PORN.