OMG, Wally, that sucks!
Don’t buy the kid anything living! Get her a Vermont Teddy Bear. You’ll never be sorry. 
I am having a distinctly deja vu moment here…
Yer pal,
Satan
I HAVE BEEN SMOKE-FREE FOR:
One month, six days, 15 hours, 30 minutes and 50 seconds.
1465 cigarettes not smoked, saving $183.23.
Life saved: 5 days, 2 hours, 5 minutes.
Hahahahahaha,
far too amusing for me.
The goldfish part did it for me. Haha.
Oh my…someone down the hall came to see what was so funny. A turtle probably won’t kick the bucket… if it does… you could just tell her it’s… um… hibernating.
Hahaha, hell I dunno. Have fun, glad I’m not in your spot.
Wally kneeling: “Why me?”
A huge booming voice from above:
“I don’t know Wally there is just something about you that pisses me off.”
That poor poor girl. Shes going to have to see a psychatrist when she grows up you know that right? She’ll probally make you pay for the bills too.
That was one of the funniest things I read in a long time 
Just to resurrect this thread, my daughters own 6 Gerbils between them.
A few years ago, around Christmas time, my daughter said she wanted a gerbil, and so one evening when we were shopping, we sent the kids into another store, and then bought two baby gerbils for her. I took the box out to the car and stashed it.
Later on as we were driving home, My daughter, with a note of panic in her voice, said “Something just ran over my foot!”
The gerbils had chewed their way out of the box, and were running loose in the car!
With the cat out of the bag (so to speak), we had to tell her not to panic, and tell her what it was. Sigh. Christmas present early!
Wally - Get the kids a furby & some batteries.
I had a friend who was playing polo (on a borrowed horse) for the first time ever. He swung the mallet in a circle and hit the horse behind him smack on the forehead. Killed the poor horse right there on the polo field. He was never asked to play again.
StG
Wally–buy this child a ferret.
They’re tough, & mean too.
It will bite her ass so hard she’ll kill it herself, & then you’ll be off the hook!
Sea monkeys. Solves the problem every time.
Now that is one hilarious story. Hey, Wally, maybe you should write down all the stuff that happens to you and use it to write a script for a sitcom…you can’t forget the sea monkeys, though…
Get the kid a pet skunk.
Or a wallaby.
Hell, get her a slinky dog.
Wally, I bet one of your favorite games at the arcade is
“Whack-a-Gerbil”
Me? An assassin?!?! Yer damn straight . . .
Why do you think they call it a ‘Cat’-apult?
“Pull!” THWAP Mmmeeeeoooooowwww! <)
…2 gerbils, not 1, a male and a female…the kid, or mom will be sick of this in no time!
Two words…
Pet Rock
Hmmmm. I missed this first time around. Wally, you need me around, I am toxic to gerbils. When I was 2, the neighbors girbil bit me on the finger. Everyone was all worried about ME. The next day, the gerbil was dead in it’s cage. So, if a gerbil is bothering you, just have it bite be. Pooof! Problem solved.
bump
sweet bump.
This is just so… Wally…
Miss ya, love.
Byz
When I was about 8 years old, my poor, clueless, single-parent father decided I needed a nice little pet so he went out and bought me a pair of hamsters… one of which gave birth within hours of entering our household… we were charmed… “aw, little, bitty baby hamsters”… and then she ate them… all of them… it was an enlightening experience…
So, a few months later, my dad figures I am sufficiently recovered from this to again be a pet owner and buys me a pair of toy collies… Nipper and Skipper… sweet things they were… until about two weeks later when they got distemper and turned kind of ugly on a Wednesday afternoon… our odd (to say the least) neighbor came over to see what the fuss was amongst us children and promptly fled the yard only to return seconds later, shotgun in hand, and shot both pups dead in front of our very eyes…
I didn’t have a pet again until I was well into my 30’s…
:wally