Arrgggghhh! Dude, what you’re doing isn’t wooing. You can’t woo someone against their will.
**joazito **, I hope it works out for you. In the meantime, can you still keep looking in case it doesn’t work out with this girl? Maybe the right girl is still out there.
I am doing this. I am sort of on a journey to discover myself and others. It’s not forced, it’s just… something my mind is having a lot of curiousity with at this point. I want to find out if I really like this girl, I want to find out things I like in other girls, in fact, I want to find out things I like in other people. I want to find happiness…
I also want to start a thread purely on myself. I have been shy and average and unhappy my (almost) intire life, and since last week or so I have grown up into who I want to be so much it’s shocking. Remember all the “she’s lucky If someone spectacular like me ends up with her” remarks? Well, I really do think I’m someone beautiful on the inside, but that state of mind only arrived a few days ago. In fact, that beautifulness only exists… or only expresses itself… because I’m confident in myself. And the beautiful things I do all day long… My mother would call me crazy, inadapted, but… Almost everything I do, I do it to brighten up people’s days… And allow them to express themselves… Oh I so want to write this thread. Just find me a name for it, people! What I did yesterday alone would fill it up… And not many people understand me, but some do, I spent some 40 minutes on the phone yesterday with a friend that seems to find all my recent conclusions about life (and I didn’t even tell him much about this girl, it was other stuff) are obvious. He also agrees that only some 5% or less of society gets all this “obviousness”. So right now I am feeling pretty special, and I should, I’ve been doing all this unusual, communicative things… Those 40 minutes was me talking about my day, before we needed to part because it was way too late. And that only covered morning and early evening… He was very happy for me, and impressed at who I was beneath the usual… cloth of lack of self esteem I was under.
Ah, major major need to express myself… I want my thread! 
Nava, BTW, where from Spain are you from again? Maybe I could visit you sometime. In a non-creepy way, I soooo promise! And then you would tell all this people that I’m mostly good. I think.
The answers you are searching for are in a Tom T. Hall song:
“It’s faster horses, younger women, older whiskey and more money.” The rest is buffalo chips.
Glad you got a date with the girl.
I’m hearing bi-polar onset.
Am I the only one that thinks this is going to end with wild horses running on the beach?
Alright, I now have to tell you how it went. It’s a bit tough.
It went spectacularly bad. I Went to pick her up at her place. As she was half an hour late, I spent all that time talking to her mother. She is an awesome person.
We went to grab lunch. Pizza. Just before completion of lunch, she decided she didn’t want to spend the rest of the evening with me and told me to drive her to her workplace. Don’t pass go, don’t receive $2000, don’t go to the theather. Dropped her off, wrote her a goodbye note, the end.
So why did that happen? Apparently, her cheating last boyfriend has made her give up on men. Not that she turned to women, oh no (I asked), she told me “all men are the same and are only good as friends”. She doesn’t want boyfriends, she doesn’t want kids, she says she’s happy like this and that’s the end of that. But that’s bullshit. She’s not happy. She has major problems even thinking about this… it’s not a conscious choice, it’s her brain closing up a major wounded area. Well I told her that, I told her a lot of things she didn’t want to hear, and I was such a Pain-In-The-Butt she couldn’t take it anymore.
So all the people who thought I was crazy for thinking she wanted something other than the friends thing… rejoice. Not that I tried being anything else, but you were right.
I got pretty upset after dropping her off. I’m okay now, but got really frustrated for encountering so many mental blocks on her part. I felt she wasn’t ok, I acted on it. Most people wouldn’t do the same as me… so I figure… she now knows what I am, what I stand for, if she can’t handle it, all she as to do is not invite me back in her life… so no harm done.
I’m never call her or go see her again. So, all the people who tought I was stalking… rejoice as well.
Her employees still think I’m a good guy. After all this mess, one of them told me “She’s like a daughter to me. I wouldn’t be ‘encouraging’ this if I didn’t perceived you as a good boy. I’ll talk to her”.
sigh
I still believe I am a spectacular guy that can ‘read minds’ better than most. But from now on I’ll be aware that I need to expect being spectacularly wrong sometimes.
I’m sorry you had to learn the hard way, but it’s better than not learning at all.
Why would we rejoice? It’s still not fun to hear about things like this. I’m sorry, and maybe next time you’ll be able to post a thread of a great girl who thinks that you’re great too, and does want to date you.
joazito, you’ve learned something valuable. Always remember, it’s easy to think oneself a genius when things are going right, but beware the sea change.
How many Iraqi liberation pundits, stock picking experts or real estate geniuses abounded these boards just a few short years (months) ago. How many of them got it spectacularly wrong when the trend changed?
My point is hope that this painful, but not too painful lesson, results in you really “hearing” what the other person means rather than projecting too much of your asperations into the equation.
You will laugh about this in the not too distant future
Remember the lesson you have learned: one useful way to read a person’s mind is by listening closely to the words they speak. Often, people say exactly what they mean.
That’s… that’s not incorrect, but there’s a lot more to it than that. I did learn a lesson, though :).
Sorry to hear that things went this way. However, it’s good that you learned a lesson. Sometimes we have to go through bad experiences to become the person we need to be for the truly right person someday.
I give it three weeks before a thread announcing a renewed stalking campaign because she was civil to him in public and therefore must still be carrying a torch. Hopefully this next one will involve disguises and comically mistaken identities.
Yes. And I would also recommend not going this route
again.
You are her Duckie.
It is bullshit. It doesn’t mean “I don’t want to date any guys” it means “I don’t want to date you.”