Goddess, I wish we had a group around here! I do belong to a bear club that has event weekends every two months or so, but that’s a damn long time between cuddles…among other things. 
jayjay
FYI, I am already grown up. Imaturity has nothing to do with this. Neither am I asking for your approval of my opinion. I don’t care about your approval or sympathy. If I did, I wouldn’t stick to my guns like this. I’m not asking you to approve of my opinions. I’m just trying to shed some light on the reasons why people act the way they do. It was I who originally suggested that “R” might be joking such as he does, because of his own fear of being fat. And lastly…
…maybe you people really are the cream of the crop, the most intelligent people on earth. You sure act like it. Excuse me for trying to add some information to your perfect little minds.
Oh, for fuck’s sake, dna_man. There are enough martyrs in the world, you don’t need to try to be another.
Look, one more time. You are allowed to find disgusting anything you want. Go for it.
But if it doesn’t affect your life, keep it to yourself. That’s all I’ve been saying, at least.
You don’t really have a problem with that, do you?
dna_man, I’ve thought about this because I consider myself very tolerant, and I found myself being intolerant of intolerance. I have come to the conclusion that there are some things in the world that are empirically bad, and should not be tolerated. Your opinions about overweight people fall into that category. Your opinions are bigoted and prejudiced. You, my friend, are a weightist. You may be in the majority (for now) with these opinions, but that only means that the majority of people are weightists and are as wrong as you are.
And, for the record, no one needs to make excuses for being overweight. There may be reasons, and there may not be; everyone has a right to be comfortable in their own skin, with no apologies or excuses to anyone.
No, I don’t have a problem with that.
What I have a problem with is people calling me a cowardly asshole, an infant, an ignoramus, a shmoe, stupid, unthinking, uncompassionate, prejudiced, a choad (whatever the fuck that is), a pitiful sack of shit, and let’s not forget my all time faves… an unsocialized assbrain, and a anacephalic bigot. And then to go so low as to insult my mother?!
Is it any wonder I’m a little pissed off? You don’t even know me. All you know is my opinion on one little issue. And you are making a lot of assumptions about things which I have not even said. One example is the accusation that I am somehow ''intolerant" of fat people. That is simply wrong. Maybe it sounds that way, but I don’t intend to. With the exception of this discussion, which I originally thought could be carried out with maturity and intelligence, I keep my discomfort to myself. That is the definition of tolerance, is it not?
I am not intolerant, prejudiced or any of that shit you accuse me of being. All I am is uncomfortable around and perhaps a little afraid of slobs, whether they be fat or otherwise. I tolerate it just fine, just as I do with many other unsettling things in this world. I’m doing what “R” from the original post should have done, with the notable exception of this discussion. I’m not defending him for joking, but I am defending his feelings. Yes, he should keep it to himself, but he has a right to feel that way, and I still maintain that his feelings are common, normal, and understandable. Why you people are incapable of being understanding with those feelings and yet you demand that I understand yours is beyond me. And as I’ve pointed out several times… I have been the victim of jokes myself, and I do understand where you are coming from. Granted, ‘gay’ is not exactly a visible quality, but it is just as hurtful when people make fun of me. I do understand what you’re saying… does anyone understand what I’m saying. Has anyone even made an effort to understand it? Only a few.
Just one thing, though . . . did you really think you could tell overweight people they “disgust you” and not get shit for it?
Apologies. You said they “make you sick.”
Now, honestly, think about how would you react if some guy you’d never met before enters a conversation you’re having about homophobia with the overture “Homosexuals just make me sick.”
Well, that’s the point of the thread, isn’t it? Hello? Is this thing on?
There are several different issues here.
1- YOU MAY HOLD ANY OPINION YOU WANT
2- IT’S RUDE TO EXPRESS YOUR DISGUST AT ANOTHER PERSON’S APPEARANCE IN YOUR OUT LOUD VOICE, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY CAN HEAR YOU. (topic of the OP, remember?)
3- YOU ARE OF THE OPINION THAT FAT PEOPLE ARE GROSS/GROSS YOU OUT AND MANY PEOPLE FIND THAT OFFENSIVE.
The “fat people are slobs” thing gets done on this board weekly, at least. The issue of the OP is that this asshole person EXPRESSED THEIR DISGUST OUT LOUD, which we all seem to agree is pretty assholeish. Why you felt the need to jump in and tell everyone YOUR opinion of fat people is what’s so confusing.
That’s not what the thread was about, so it seems very weird to jump in and spout the same crap that the OP was saying is so offensive.
You made many disparaging/rude remarks about overweight people and now you are the victim? Please. No one says you aren’t entitled to your opinion. Some people just don’t want you speaking for them or spreading your nastiness here.
Zette
Nope. Why should anything ALWAYS be a goal? I could say, “Dedicating one’s life to the education of at-risk youth should ALWAYS be a goal,” and it wouldn’t be any more true than the previous statement about health ALWAYS being a goal. Just because I value something (and chose it as a lifestyle) doesn’t mean everyone should.
I value my health because it allows me to live the life I want, not because society thinks I should. This body will only take me so far. I will not worship at its altar as if it’s going to last forever or, even worse, as if it has any bearing on who I am.
I think we need to distinguish between “Not my idea of attractive” and “disgust”.
To be honest, if I see a 400 lb human being of normal height waddling down the street, perhaps with a cane to aid ambulation, I can’t say I find the body type attractive. I don’t. I wouldn’t say it disgusts me, either, or make me want to puke (as dna_man apparently feels.) I still value that person as a human being. I am concerned for the health of any human being who has difficulty moving around, wheezes when they walk, or shows other signs of ill health, but I am not going to go up to them and express any sort of negative opinion because they don’t need that shit.
Even with friends who are “merely” overweight, when they are on their diets and I invite them out to lunch I make a point of asking them what would fit with their dietary needs (which also requires some negotiation since I am on a restricted diet due to allergies). I encourage them. Offer cheerleading. I do not offer false compliments, but when their efforts have a noticable effect I do mention it and praise their hard work and determination.
I could say the same thing about people missing a limb - I don’t find that attractive. It’s not something I seek out. On the other hand, I wouldn’t rule out dating, fucking, or marrying someone in that state, either. I don’t find the voice of someone deaf from early childhood attractive, but I still talk to my deaf co-workers.
Truth is, damn few human beings ever achieve a state considered ideal, and those only for a few short years. Maybe I’m just weird, or maybe I’ve just never been one of the “beautiful people”. Or maybe I’m just tolerant.
I do know that I spend a lot less of my life having the urge to hurl than those assholes like dna_man who don’t want their delicate sensibilities disturbed by less than perfect people.
So now it’s because you have “issues” that you decided to spout your garbage?
Listen carefully because I’m sure everyone is tired of hearing this.
Nobody cares. Keep your opinions to yourself, or you are exactly the insensitive type the OP is complaining about. Is there any way I can make it clearer?
The world is full of all types of people. People who are fat, thin, tall, short, strong, weak, smart, stupid (dang, there are a LOT of those) people who behave in every imaginable way.Until the engage in patently illegal behavior, their behavior is beyond your control, beyond your judgement, and beyond your derision. Keep it to yourself.
As for people here being the cream of the crop, well, they are. And in very succinct and logical terms they have explained to you your right to your opinion. Unfortunately, you have nothing to teach them. The lesson they have (also unfortunately) been unable to get through to you is that your voiced"disgust" of “fat slobs” is as objectionable to the gentle folk here as the spare tire around my waist is to you, as it is unreasoning (by your own admission above)illogical and rude.
b.
DNA_man, do you consider this board a public place? I think that this may be a source of a great deal of the antagonism here: some people think of the internet as some sort of special zone where things don’t really count, and other people think of the internet as a public conversation that happens to take place in text.
Different fora seem to adhere to one or the other view of the internet, and neither is really right or wrong, as long as all the people involved have the same outlook. The SDMB is so big and complex, we have people from both camps, and this causes problems.
For me, and I suspect for many people reading this, this is out in public. So it makes no sense for you to say “I hate fat slobs, but I would never say so to their faces, or even in public where they might overhear” (paraphrased). This is a very crowded resterant bucko, and there are dozens of people who are, or fear they are, fat slobs who are listening to you. How do you reconcile that with claiming you would never say such things? To those of us that think of this as a text party, you just did.
Shit…then I’d be having sex in negative numbers if I weren’t so fit:p
Oh, and this business about how people who are objecting to you, dna_man, are fat/overweight/out of shape (couldn’t find the post, but someone quoted you on it, or maybe I misread)? Hi, I’m Patrick, and I would have little trouble, if any, carrying Jadis up a flight of stairs. You can take a look at my pic on the sd people pages (http://geocities.com/sdpeoplepages/iampunha.html) and see just how horribly out-of-shape I am.
Nobody’s saying you’re not allowed to have an opinion. Some of us happen to have one of our own: expressing yours to other people makes you a jackass.
Then WHY do you keep changing your opinion every time someone criticizes you? Why do you make such a big deal about being gay in this thread, but call yourself heterosexual in another? Why do you openly insist that you are a nice guy and then whine when others point out that your words indicate otherwise? Why does it bother you that people call you names?
As I see it, there are only four options to explain the discrepancies in your posts:
-
You are intolerant, but too insecure to stand up for your opinions.
-
You have no idea how to express yourself and therefore completely misstated your opinion in your first post.
-
Hi Opal!
-
You exaggerated your position in your first post in an attempt to provoke other participants in this thread.
With the exception of #3, none of these possibilities indicates that you are capable of adult discourse. Can you provide ANY other reason why you went from saying that overweight people are “fuckin’ gross” and disgust everyone around them to saying that you really are a nice guy, that you have no problem with overweight people and that you just want to learn about their problems?
Otherwise, just tell me which number fits you.
shrew:
Well, bearing in mind of course that this is gobear’s opinion to begin with . . .
I could come up with lots of things that I feel should be universal goals for all people. Providing for family is one (will all that entails, not just money). And yes, eating well and exercising moderately are on my list as well. I can’t think of anyone whom those things would not benefit, and therefore as a member of a society, it’s in my best interests if everyone holds those goals.
So yes, I agree that good diet and exercise should be goals for everyone. Don’t like it? No big–just my opinion.
wolf whistles…er, bear whistles. Or something.
jayjay
I find it endlessly amusing that someone who states that, “Part of growing up and being an adult is realizing that you have to conform to the majority,” is a confessed bisexual. Way to conform, brother!
Apart from that, my only contribution is pretty much what Billy Rubin has already said, but put more succinctly. I said this in a thread on much the same subject about a year ago:
Nope. But I’m not here to insult you either. I know someone on another message board who’s in all other aspects a seemingly nice guy…but he’s rabidly and wholeheartedly against fat people. Enough to spout his views on the subject at every opportunity. It bothers me sometimes.
Why would it? I’m not overweight. I’ll tell you, because he promotes his opinions as society’s ‘verdict’, he uses the ‘majority’ as a defense to prove that his views are normal, and he’s rationalizing this opinion based on what is favored in the media. Do I need to know what the most popular body style is these days, before I decide whether I find someone attractive or not? No.
I think he does, as you appear to, because it reinforces his opinion that his point of view is OK, it’s mainstream. The only problem is you’ve got a collection of people here who are either overweight themselves, or just plain don’t like what you’re saying, or both. I don’t get it - you’re not the one with a weird hang-up or anything, because People magazine feels the same way? I’ve seen this too often, like I said, elsewhere. This guy is now an exercise freak and it just so happens he ‘used to be fat.’ Aha!
Anyway, you have your opinions about overweight people and I have mine - just wanted you to know we cancel each other out in this tiny cross-section of our society. Next?
Holy shit, dude. My Irony meter just fucking exploded!
dna_man you are so full of shit you have dung-beetle groupies.