Ok. I don’t think things through all of the time, and I really don’t have that many morals. She’s making you mad, I would definitely tell Sam. Is it technically any of your business? Probably not, but what the hell. If she’s being this rude about the whole thing, I would retaliate by sharing the info I had… And if she gets pissed off? So what.
Well . . . how very useful. Thanks for sharing. :rolleyes:
I agree, when someone is being a jerk, or a fool, as long as they are not hurting anyone else - it isn’t really your place to tell them off. Unless they ask for your opinion.
BUT in this case, other parties are being affected, all over the damned place. The girlfriend of Sam would be hurt if, throught Sis’s aggressive efforts, the relationship between Sam and girlfriend were to break up. Sure, the breakup (God Forbid) would be partly Sam’s fault as well, but Sis’s aggressiveness would definitely be a big element. So, as the friend of the long-time girlfriend, I think that SRiddles would want to prevent pain and anguish to long-time girlfriend. And Sis’s actions are definitely intended to be a threat to girlfriend’s happiness. Would you sit by and watch your someone try to hurt your friend, and think “I won’t say anything, it’s none of my business?”
I’m sorry, so I am called a busybody or overly moral - I don’t care. But if I see someone trying to do dirt to a friend of mine - GOSH, I would try to say something about it! No, maybe I can’t actually stopit, I can’t get all involved and make phone calls and get in the middle of it and turn it into a soap opera…but damned if I’m just going to sit by and say nothing… Damn. I would want to know that I was at least on the record as telling selfish Sis that she was a selfish Sis. I don’t fricking care how old she is, how “desperate” she is…this is no damned excuse for being a jerk. And I’d tell her so. And I’d tell Sam that Sis is not all sweetness and light. Maybe I wouldn’t give every gory detail, but at least give him a “heads up”.
As for her behavior in the troupe - it’s just pathetic what she’s doing, and everyone is being made aware of it. This affects the whole group. Sis is making a fool of herself all over the damned place. So she should be told. No - in the end no one can force her to do or not do anything. And no, I’m not saying that anyone should endlessly hound and nag her about what an idiot she’s being. But at least she should be TOLD.
IMO, a person can’t break up a couple unless at least one member of the couple wants it to happen.
Vivien Leigh could show up in a royal blue teddy proclaiming me her sexual master begging me to take her and aside from sweat on my upper brow and a twinge in my pants, I’d send her packing. I love my wife too much.
Aside from that, your sister is a lying bitch. It’s hard to be friends (or a sister) with someone you don’t respect.
Why don’t you show this to your sister and Sam? Sis might come back with a self righteous tirade but she might come around, too. She C.an’t U.ndertsnd N.ormal T.hinking.
Oh, that is so cold. She cares more about this attempt at breaking up a relationship than making sure her 15 year-old sister got home safe? She has MAJOR problems. I’d call her on it for this if nothing else.
I would only add to the good (and some not-so-good) advice above that you need to communicate with your sister all of your feelings on this subject. She may get mad, she may be indifferent, she may understand - either way she will know where you stand, and you will feel much better (trust me).
Good luck sweet Swiddles !
(I miss improv.) 
- NM
If your sister insists on being a slut, tell her to visit me in Hawai’i. I don’t mind sluts.
Because they usually do.
andros has got your back on this SwimmingRiddles, and you can’t do much better as far as I know…
by your sister doing what she is doing and you knowing what she is doing, it kind of makes you an accomplice. A completely, unfairly and unwilling accomplice, which might motivate you to clear yourself of the mess.
It would be sad for Sam’s s/o to uncover this ickiness and then find out that you knew the whole while and did nothing to stop it, regardless of the ethical torment you’ve run yourself through.
Sucky sitch you got there. Your older sister…now she’s got a bit of Karmic work to do or she is going to find herself coming back as a pustule on a peruvian yaks butt. Sad for her that she feels the need to work so hard to be happy. I mean, breaking up a relationship takes EFFORT, man, and focus and deviance…sad for her.
You have to clear yourself of the tangled web she has woven.
Fine, if everyone thinks it’s OK to go meddling in other people’s business, even a sibling’s, then go ahead Swiddles. I hope you get the results you desire, but I doubt you will.
We probably have a lot of Linda Tripp fans here. Go Linda! Way to not be an accomplice!! :rolleyes:
Oh, give it a rest, Moe. Firstly, define “meddling” for me willya? There’s no interference involved in the suggestions I’ve made. In the sense of “intrusion,” you are a little closer–if Swiddles were to approach her sister about the matter, it could be seen as an intrusion . . . except that the intrusion has already been made by Sister. Sister has already stepped on Swiddles’ toes. It’s not any sort of intrusion to react to that.
Secondly, the Linda Tripp analogy was tacky, gratuitously insulting, and, as I’m sure you realize, completely inane. If you can really point out some comparisons between Tripp and Swiddles’ situation, PLEASE do so post-haste or retract your words. Thanks.
xxoo
-andros-
OK, perhaps meddling was the wrong word. “Intruding” is more appropriate.
If by that you are referring to the effect her sister’s behavior has had on the group and on the quality of Swiddles’ experience as a member of the group, then that’s what I’ve been saying and agreeing with you on all along.
But if you are referring her sister’s actual intrusion into Sam’s relationship, then Swiddles doesn’t have the right to react to that. I don’t believe that you are referring to that though, so I will assume the former. But I was thinking more about those who have said to get involved in the situation with Sam:
Actually, in re-reading the thread, I realize I did initially over-estimate the number of people whose opinions I oppose. I apologize for that. Most of you have indeed said close to what I’ve said: i.e. deal with the part of the problem that affects you.
Again in re-reading you are right and I apologize and retract my words with an explanation. I was reacting to this statement:
Quick to react, I thought Saysha was stating this as fact, and thus as a reason to confront Sam and his girlfriend. In other words I read this as saying “What your sister’s doing is wrong and because you know about it, it is your duty as a good human being to take action”.
That’s actually not what Saysha was saying. She was talking more about the feelings behind the dilemna.
So, I apologize.
Swiddles, I know you’re in a rough spot and currently find yourself in a complex situation that affects you and others on many levels, and it’s hard to figure out exactly which levels you should be concerned with. I hope at least some of the things said here helps. Take what you need, discard what you don’t.
BTW, on re-reading, I realized I initially overlooked the fact that Sam’s girlfriend is actually your friend. Had I caught that I may have said things differently. That does make this much more complex. I don’t know what else to say on the subject but I hope you keep us updated.
[Fixed bolding–Gaudere]
[Edited by Gaudere on 07-11-2000 at 06:37 PM]
Let’s see. Which do I despise worse?
Liars, deceivers, adulterers and people with the moral fiber of wet toilet paper?
Or people who encourage the aforementioned people with their “do whatever you want to do; it’s nobody else’s business” pigeon shit?
Toss-up.
My lunch.
Swiddles (if I may call you that) wrote:
I seem to be the only person stuck on this (perhaps because I am an oldest sister with two younger sisters) but if my younger sister ditched the youngest anywhere and expected her to figure out how to get a ride home, I would kick younger sister’s ass till she couldn’t walk, let alone sit! What this shows me is younger sister is an irresponsible jackass.
As the oldest, I feel somewhat responsible for my younger sisters (as they are now 33 and 28 I don’t get involved so much anymore). When they pull some stupid shit I call them on it. When they need help, I support them. I think Swiddles should call 'em as she sees 'em. When her younger sister can dump her 15-year old sister and not even care, she needs an ass whumping.
Just to clarify, and to probably piss you off even more, it was SwimmingRiddles’ OLDER sister (by 8 years) that is being the selfish booger, and left even younger sister bumming a ride. Ick, isn’t that creepy? CeeJay, YOU have righteous anger on your side, offer to kick Sisters arse for Swiddles (if I may refer to her as such)
I hate to out myself as a former skanky lying inconsiderate bitch, but here goes…
First- your sister could care less what you or anybody else thinks. If she did, she wouldn’t be pulling this shit. End of discussion. The fact that she could hurt or wreck somebody’s relationship is just not part of the equation. She is doing what she thinks needs to do to try & fill that hole in her gut.
Second- I guess theatre hasn’t changed much in the last 10 years. It always was a pretty slutty profession, even more so than professional baseball. Put lots of people in VERY close proximity, let them change clothes & party together a lot, and watch the fireworks.
Third- my bullshit was drug- & alcohol-fueled to a great extent. This does wonders for quieting a conscience (or ignoring critical family & friends). Any chance? If so, don’t break your neck trying to help the aforementioned psycho, it will be wasted (so to speak).
Sorry to hear about you being in such close proximity to a real bitch, but not a lot you can do.
A former raging psycho bitch, now acting very normal most of the time…
The question here is: are you your sister’s keeper?
Yes. You are.
That’s family. You love each other unconditionally, you always have a shoulder to cry on, you always have a place to go home to. The flip side is that you have to look after each other, even if some of you don’t want to be looked after. It’s you obligation to nag, moralize, intervene - and no, the phrase “it’s none of your business” just doesn’t wash. They’re your flesh and blood, and anything they do is your business (just as everything you do is theirs). If you think your sister is acting like a bitch, you have a responsability to straighten her out.
My suggestion, then, is to sit her down with your mom and kid sister (and dad, if availeable) and shout at her until she comes to her senses. If that doesn’t work… well, that can be tricky. My instinct is to trick her into a room with everybody in it - your family, Sam, Sam’s girlfriend, the troupe. Lock the door, and don’t let her out until she cries. Still, that may be considered a breach of trust, so think it over first.
Without delving too deeply into the past, let’s just say that my OLDER sister (Saysha’s right) has reasons for her behavior. She has been through hell with men (more than your average “he’s an ass.” Traumatic stuff), she has had issues with bipolar disorder, there is a lot here that, believe it or not, I haven’t felt comfortable talking about here. So I intellectually know WHY she’s doing it, I think EJ is right on the money, she IS trying to complete herself with other people.
I, on the other hand, who haven’t had to deal with the crap that she has had to, tend to have a healthier outlook on things. I am perfectly OK not having someone to refer to as a boyfriend. I complete myself, not someone else. I think she sees that as being antisocial or prudish in some way, because I don’t constantly date and reject men. So any advice coming from me on her behavior is going to be dismissed as me being prudish. To clarify, this isn’t about sex. I’m all for everyone doing whomever they want. It’s about having no regard for other’s feelings, and how your actions can effect others. She’s 28, part of me feels like she should KNOW this stuff already. But the other part says “Chill out, you know she’s handled more than her share of crap in life. She deserves a little leeway.” That doesn’t make it any easier to be around her.
I have not been spending time with her, and I’ve been talking a lot about it to friends, trying to sort out WHY I am so angry. It is unlike me to let another person’s actions effect me this much. My best friend correctly pointed out that BECAUSE my sister has dealt with a lot doesn’t give her an excuse to act out like this.
My problem is that I have a rule that I don’t spend time with people who make me more annoyed/angry than they do happy. It’s a simple equation. But because she’s my sister, I have to spend time with her. I have to deal with her. And while I’ll probably do it anyway, my mother has already asked me NOT to drop out of the improv group, because my mom has this vision of a theatrical Partridge family. So this mess effects the rest of my family, too.
Eh. Like sands through an hourglass, so goes the days of Swiddle’s life.
Moe: whew. I’m glad we got that settled. 
Swiddles, the best thing about soap operas, even the ones you live through, is that you can change the channel. Be strong, sister.