Ditto
**simple homer **- It’s classic. Clearly she has no need for you in any capacity, so she’s not going to bother with you, and in her mind you are being rude by not going away. She may warm up someday, if you become useful to her.
Possibly so, but no extreme than the ageist and possibly sexist attitude of the OP’s colleague. Unless there’s something we’re not being told, I am truly appalled at her behavior. So he walked a few paces into her apartment, with the door open, to offer help in moving in? My God! Some people have no boundaries whatsoever.
As tdn says, it’s unprofessional. If nothing else, if everyone respects their boundaries, they have a right to not have their colleagues look poison arrows at them every time they see them.
And they also have the right not to have their colleagues slander them to others, at least not audibly.
It might be sexist, but (say) if she’s an attractive young woman and she takes it for granted that all the men around are interested in her, it can be a huge element of culture shock to find she’s being ignored in favor of all the bright eyed young Asian lasses eager to talk to the foreign guys. (Subtext of “he’s a middle aged loser” might be: “why can’t those sluts see he’s a middle aged loser?!”) I’ve heard of more than one white girl becoming extremely bitter over this in these parts – and it’s human nature to want to blame somebody, however irrationally.
if i were you, i’d check her out every 28 days and at midpoint. i’m married and i still can’t understand a woman’s period.
Seriously?? Look, I agree that from what the OP is telling us, this woman is being pretty bitchy. But, WTH? “She’s probably jealous cause she’s not getting the male attention she wants” and “her hormones are making her be crazy” is just really, again, sexist.
Not all women define themselves by how many men they can attract, nor are they simply hormone-driven emotion machines.
Culture shock is inherently irrational, and guys have their own flavor of culture shock out here. I don’t think it’s out of line to point out that men and women react differently to a foreign setting; especially if I’ve seen it confirmed firsthand.
Sounds like she’s got a case of the raging bitch.
As Koxinga poimts out, it could be nasty culture shock hitting her in some form or another. I have certainly seen it too many times to count that some people can’t handle China. In 25 years in Greater China and Japan I’ve seen too many tomes to count where the Western women goy fed up because they didn’t like the Western men that were available and for whatever reason were not generally attracted to the local men. I went out with some of these women. hell, one i kinda knew in grad school basically didn’t give me the time of day in the US, suddenly was very interested when we met again 6 months later in Tokyo and we went out for half a year. Go figure.
I think this is a terrible idea unless you know she is saying things about you in the workplace. She has the right not to like you, and doesn’t have an duty to explain it to you or anyone else.
No, they don’t. I’m assuming the OP doesn’t know who was on the receiving end of those comments. Again, if she wasn’t speaking in any kind of work-related capacity, she can say what she pleases.
Actually, I forgot for a moment you are in China. Perhaps there’s some law you can get her locked for violating? Can her comments be considered counter-revolutionary? 
Fair enough, she does have that right, but that doesn’t mean he’s not entitled to some discretion on her part. Who lives on the other side of her unit–another teacher in the same outfit? I have absolutely no personal experience with this specific situation in this particular country, but if the local expat community is closely knit, and everybody knows everybody, it might be hard to tell where the boundary is between “at work” and “not at work”.
These days, maybe it’s being counter-counter revolutionary that gets you in trouble. 
If you have an issue with this unnamed person, take it up in the Pit. This forum is not the place for attacks on other posters, whether they are named or not.
I think this is it. Perhaps back in the U.S. she was the center of attention when men were around, and now no one (at least the type of man she is used to) is wooing over her. At the same time, the few American men in the country feel like they’re in heaven, being surrounded by countless (and cute) Asian women and all. Certainly not a PC answer, but I think it’s the truth.
Or it could be that the OP creeped her out in some way without meaning to.
Here’s an illustrative story: There’s a man I see occasionally during my day at work. He’s very friendly and charming to everyone and does not appear to be socially impaired in any way. But when he started working here, he flirted with me a little, and I got uncomfortable (simply because I don’t like that kind of attention at work) and did the dumbest thing you could do in that situation: I laughed (in discomfort, but he probably couldn’t tell that because he didn’t know me for very long) and kind of played along. After that, he started hanging around my desk more often, which is understandable on his part – hey, I flirt with a girl, she laughs, this is a good sign. But from my end, I’m very sorry I laughed, because I really don’t want to encourage this kind of attention, and I don’t want him around my desk, and if I never saw him again I would be happy. Objectively, he never did anything wrong, and he’s not a creepy guy in general – he’s not someone who clearly has problems understanding social cues or anything; on the contrary, he seems very smooth. But I feel uncomfortable around him now, and I can’t stop myself from feeling uncomfortable around him, so I try to avoid him.
That could be what’s going on here. When the OP walked into the girl’s apartment, or did something he’s not even aware of, it could have made this girl uncomfortable for whatever reason. Now, no matter how friendly and harmless he appears, she can’t help but feel uncomfortable around him because her opinion of him has already been set. In my case, I’m self-aware enough to recognize this is my problem and not my co-worker’s, so I try to remain as pleasant and professional as I can when I’m forced to interact with him. In this girl’s case, maybe she’s not so self-aware or professional, so she makes no effort to hide her feelings.
Life’s too short. Let her and her craziness go.
WTH back at you. This thread is about coming up with possible explanations for irrational behavior. And one of the possibilities is that it has to do with sex or hormones.
If the situation were reversed, and the OP was female and other teacher male, The sex explanation would still be valid. The hormone one would be less valid, but not for any sexist reason.
You are seeing sexism where none exists.
Maybe the OP was too helpfull in showing her around the first couple days.
She may have gotten it into her head that the OP thinks she’s stoopid and needs to have her hand held.
Just speculatin’…
Maybe she just doesn’t like you. That’s all. It doesn’t mean she’s a bitch or you’re a creep. It just may mean that she doesn’t like you. Not everyone is going to.
Really? So if an American female teacher was complaining that she was teaching Africa and a male colleague was being unfriendly to her, there would be a chorus of, “He probably just feels really insecure about his penis size around all those black dudes. Seen it happen a ton. That’s dudes for ya!”
And everyone else would just nod sagely at this information?
Yeah, maybe she feels insecure or unattractive or whatever. Although there could be a zillion other reasons she’s pissed off. But to then assume that she’s somehow projecting it on the OP because she has no capability to keep her feelings in check?
What if I started a thread about an unfriendly Chinese colleague I have, and someone jumped in with, “well, she probably just feels intimidated cause everyone’s taller than her, and has bigger eyes, and she’s taking it out on you.” Hey, that could be a valid reason she’s pissed! But that doesn’t mean that it’s appropriate to suggest that as a primary reason why she’s upset with me in a thread like this.
I’m going with, “She doesn’t like you for whatever reason, sometimes people are like that, move on”
Not saying this is the case, but there is a certain type of 20 something single woman who sorts all men into two classes: Those she might be willing to date, and those she hates.
I used to work with one. There is another guy I work with who is a completely socially inept dork. I never heard/saw any evidence that he was hitting on her, nor heard her mention it, but she hate, hate, hated him with a burning passion…just because he was a socially inept dork, and if she didn’t like someone, then there was no space between that and hating them.
Here’s what I imagined may have happened:
She’s a young woman living abroad. Maybe for the first time. It may be the first time that she’s living away from home, even. She doesn’t speak the language, presumably. She’s living a thousand miles away from her support network, in a country where she’s almost certainly never been for an extended period of time. It’s difficult for me to imagine a situation that would make her feel more vulnerable. And then she’s adjusting to her new apartment, moving furniture around, alone, when she notices a fucking strange dude that she hardly knows walking into her apartment without announcing himself. In what world is she not justified for thinking that he’s a creep?
If that’s the situation, there’s nothing** simple homer** can do except leave her alone for a couple weeks (or a couple months) until the whole thing blows over, if it ever does. When she’s a little more comfortable being around him, he can sort of off-handedly apologize for coming off like a creep.