Why was my thread closed? (the prostitution one)

[dalovindj]

Caiata:

Didn’t dalovindj say he slept/sleeps/will sleep/would sleep with a hooker someone else has paid for?

Well, no. What I said was “I never went to a hooker I paid for.” This tells you I’ve never paid for sex. Whether I’ve had sex with a prostitute someone else was paying for, is not really determined by this statement. It is not ruled out, and therein lies my little attempt at a joke. The funny part is what wasn’t said. It was a literal statement, which had potential meanings which I find humorous. I have not indicated as of yet what my experience with hookers has been, because no one has asked. I don’t really find such information to be the type of thing I offer up unless directly questioned. But if you wanna ask, go ahead. I’ll tell you truthfully.

Isn’t that what happened to non-native, only unintentionally?

I think his sleeping with that girl was quite intentional. I don’t think it makes him a bad person, I just think it’s foolish behaivior. I also think it’s foolish to tell people about it here. Maybe if it came out in a debate about prostitution in GD, I’d feel differently. But starting an MPSIMS thread about having just gone to see a hooker, and then asking for “consolation” about feeling “bad” is a questionable move. Note that I did, however, give him a bit of consolation. My reaction was not just pure ridicule in that thread. Initially, I ribbed him a little (swingers-stylee), and then told him not to sweat it. These things do happen. These things don’t make you worthy of sympathy. It does make you worthy of being the butt of a few jokes, and perhaps being looked down on by those of us who think sleeping with whores is a bit disgusting. That’s what you get when you sleep with a hooker and tell people, and rightly so. Comparing my arguments to dead mothers is a pretty foolish move also.

And furthermore, I find it pretty … um … “convenient” … logic that sleeping with a hooker one has paid for oneself is “lame” but sleeping with a hooker one’s friends paid for (I wouldn’t imagine random people would just charitably “buy” hookers for someone they don’t know) is an offer one just can’t resist. Either way said hooker is receiving money for sex … what’s the difference? One degree of separation?

It’s lame to sleep with a hooker either way. It’s just alot harder to say no when it doesn’t cost you anything and there is a beautiful girl standing there willing. It’s not the right choice, it’s still a hard one. I’ll sum up my position on the issues in this thread here:

• Paying for sex is foolish
• Sleeping with hookers is disgusting, whether you’ve paid or not
• Starting a thread in MPSIMS about sleeping with a hooker is a bad move
• Asking for consolation because you feel sorry for yourself is only valid if you feel sorry for yourself for a noble reason - Feelin’ bad about bangin’ a hooker don’t count.
• Dark humor is great. Proposterous statements are funny if they are not meant seriously. I don’t think anyone here really advocates the murder of prostitutes.
• If you make a mistake, expect to get ribbed.

All of that is IMHO, of course.

DaLovin’ Dj

[pennylane]

So… you’re lame and disgusting, but not foolish?

[Caiata]

Well, dalovindj, it’s really not any of my business, nor concern, what your sexual habits are. I really don’t care to know It’s just that when you were explaining the “i’ve never paid for sex” line in the post on page 1, you said,

There’s a third option there tough guy. I sleep with a hooker someone else paid for. It may be immoral, but a hooker someone else is paying for is hard to turn down. Or so goes the implied joke. Get it now?

An’ so on my more-than-groggy, sleep-deprived mind that seemed like an admission that you did sleep with a hooker someone else paid for. So I was confused. Because that’s what happened to non-native.

When I said he did it unintentionally, I didn’t mean he had sex unintentionally - I mean really, that’s gotta be pretty hard to do, anyway. “Oh … uh … is that your vagina my penis just happened to slip into? Whoopsie-doodles! Well, since I’m here …” I meant that he didn’t realise at the time (due, it seems, to mass consumption of alcohol) that the woman was a hooker for whom his friend had paid. And that now that he realised it after the fact he feels bad. And that he wouldn’t have done it sober. That’s what I got from the OP of his thread, anyway.

Anyway I think between alcohol and language barrier, that sort of confusion could happen to many folks. While I don’t think he was taken advantage of, per se, and I’ve never been in a similar situation, I can still kinda sympathise with him. It sucks to wake up realising you did something the day before that you shouldn’t have done. shrug

I would find it far more “disgusting” if he had solicited the woman for sex whilst sober, than I do at the moment. I hope that non-native chalks this one up to experience and doesn’t make the same mistake - either of sleeping with hookers or getting drunk enough that it seems like a good idea - again. If this experience has helped him learn something, about himself or about life, then I think that’s, in the end, a good thing.

Then again people tell me I’m too nice.

nods

digs into her nummy pasta salad now and offers some to both dalovin’ and non-native in hopes they can make up

[Diane]

No pennylane, I think what Dj is saying is that a few people really need to lighten up and I couldn’t agree more.

[pennylane]

Come on, Diane! I was just joking. Hey, I laughed at your pussy joke!

[Diane]

Whoops! My turn to be :::WHOOSHED:::

[Esprix]

Originally posted by dalovindj

There you go Esprix. You couldn’t hold back. I guess your {sic} not down for the no negativity deal. I’ve made note. See ya round.

Excuse me? Nice assumption. Is everything about you? Rather egotistical.

Of course, that’s just MHO.

:rolleyes:

Esprix

[dalovindj]

Esprix, you’re gonna break that rolleyes smiley one of these days. Just in case you forgot, here’s a little bit of non-native’s last post before yours:

I really couldn’t give a flying fuck about what you (dalovindj) think me or my thread but for sake of others, stop being such a dick. Since you’re supposed to be the epitome of cool (or whatever the hell you claim to be) you should know that making fun of someone for his mistakes is not the the “coolest” thing to do. You know what? I think you’re trying your very best to make this into a pissing contest, and i think you’ve succeeded.

Your response was “Welcome to my world.” This implies that in your world I’m a dick, you don’t give a flying fuck what I say, I believe myself to be the pinnacle of cool, and that I try to make things into a pissing contest. While you may feel this way, it’s hardly non-negative and it most certainly has to do with me. So don’t pretend otherwise you backpedaling freak.

Go fuck yourself. Your conceit has no bounds and your pettiness borders on infinite. You are pathetic.

DaLovin’ Dj

[andros]

C’mon, dj, don’t hold back. Tell us how you really feel.

[Ferrous]

Y’know, dalovindj, I find it rather amusing that someone as full of themself as you are is constantly accusing Esprix of being conceited. (Pot, kettle, and all that.)

[jmonster]

*Originally posted by Esprix *

Originally posted by dalovindj

There you go Esprix. You couldn’t hold back. I guess your {sic} not down for the no negativity deal. I’ve made note. See ya round.

Ouch, spelling nitpick. Burn!

[dalovindj]

Glad to amuse you Ferrous. I assure you, however, my confidence and Esprix’s arrogance are different animals entirely. You may feel differently, in which case, I believe you are incorrect.

I was gonna leave this shit alone. But this moher-fucker can’t resist little attacks on me no matter what. He has been warned about back-handed attacks by TubaDiva, and yet he shows up in this thread, after not having said anything else, to take an obvious dig at me. Then he makes a liar of himself by implying he wasn’t talking about me. Such a petty little man. Either way, I’ll not keep this hijack going anymore in this thread. If I see anything worth responding to on this topic I’ll do it in a new thread, if someone else doesn’t start one first.

DaLovin’ Dj.

[andros]

[Yes, Minister]

Oh, it’s one of those irregular nouns, is it? I’m confident, you’re arrogant, he’s a conceited asshole . . .

[/Yes, Minister]

[UncleBeer]

What’s a moher? Do you mean mohair? Esprix fucks angora sweaters? Or cashmere. Is it cashmere that he fucks?

[dalovindj]

All the cool kids drop the t’s from profanities.

[Esprix]

My, my, my. Such vehemence.

Not to throw your own words back at you, but when Caiata asked:

Didn’t dalovindj say he slept/sleeps/will sleep/would sleep with a hooker someone else has paid for?

… and you responded:

Well, no. What I said was “I never went to a hooker I paid for.” This tells you I’ve never paid for sex. Whether I’ve had sex with a prostitute someone else was paying for, is not really determined by this statement. It is not ruled out, and therein lies my little attempt at a joke. The funny part is what wasn’t said. It was a literal statement, which had potential meanings which I find humorous. I have not indicated as of yet what my experience with hookers has been, because no one has asked. I don’t really find such information to be the type of thing I offer up unless directly questioned. But if you wanna ask, go ahead. I’ll tell you truthfully.

… what you basically said was, “Don’t assume.” So now, without so much as a, “What did you mean by that?” you’ve gone and assumed you think you know what I meant. Now, should I take your tack of, “And I’m still not going to tell you what I meant - you have to ask me outright,” or shall I just answer your question? I think I shall just answer your question outright rather than play your hip, cool reindeer games.

After skimming over this thread, I saw that some people (yes, including you) were piling on non-native, chiding him with knowledge I learned a long, long time ago on this message board, and nicely summed up by Diane:

What I will do is suggest that non-native not post something to a public message board if he isn’t willing to accept any and all responses.

Essentially, “If you post it, they will reply.” I could give you plenty of examples of threads I’ve started that ended up getting twisted and hijacked and tangentalized far beyond the original OP to the point of me having regretted ever having started them in the first place. So, having seen this happen, my post:

Welcome to my world, non.

… was reference to just that - I’ve been in his shoes (recently, too). I had, per your own request, essentially skipped over the meat of your posts, just skimming enough to get the gist of what you were saying in reference to the OP, so I hadn’t really noticed that my post was falling after non’s comments to you.

But no matter - you’ve gone and assumed the worst, and berated me several times in this thread for it. So far I’m a “backpedaling freak,” conceited, petty, pathetic, arrogant, a “moher-fucker” (UncleBeer, perhaps it’s a Jewish term we’re not familiar with?), and a liar.

Charmed, I’m sure.

Esprix

[non-native]

I didn’t want to post in this thread again but… Oh well.

What I will do is suggest that non-native not post something to a public message board if he isn’t willing to accept any and all responses.

*Originally posted by non-native *
I actually think i took the tasteless jokes rather well, until your personal attacks and claims that i was a “schmuck”, and my thread was “stupid”, “ridiculous” and most importantly gasp “unentertaining” to you.

I never said anything about those tasteless jokes. I really wanted to, but i didn’t. But you know, the personal attacks i have a problem with… Maybe I should’ve ignored it, but I chose to defend myself. So i need to lighten up because i defended myself against personal attacks? I did accept all responses, except when dalovindj insisted that i’m a schmuck etc.

Well, see, here’s your problem. You’re in a pissing contest and you’re flinging shit. You’re working in the wrong medium. Kind of like bringing a hockey stick to a soccer game.

Here’s a basic summary of our “debate”. “You’re a moron!” “Well you’re a dick!”. That looks like shit flinging to me.

No pennylane, I think what Dj is saying is that a few people really need to lighten up and I couldn’t agree more.

No… I think he’s just trying to make sure i feel like an idiot for something i’ve done and regret dearly, also for sharing it to a group of people I used to trust.

[Otto]

Diane

Jeeezuz Otto, you’ve been here almost 2 years and have 1700+ posts and you still can’t grasp the reasons behind the simple (at least for most of us) rule to not link to porn?

Jeeezuz Diane, you’ve been here almost three years and have 3500+ posts and you still can’t grasp the fact that I didn’t link to friggin’ porn? And you also can’t grasp that what I’m talking about here is not that I don’t understand the rule but that I don’t agree with it?

UncleBeer

You seem to be looking for a rigorous formula, or set of rules, when the variables are punched in, will give you a rigid and indisputable answer to whether a post is acceptable.

Well, no, I’m not, but when a moderator says “you did x and that breaks a rule” then I expect him or her to be able to show me where I may find this rule. I’ve repeatedly asked for a link to the so-called “one-click rule” or “two-click rule” and none has been forthcoming. This leads me to believe that this is not a published rule of the forum, but is instead a generalised standard which one may or may not know depending on whether one has ever encountered it before. Prior to the hooker thread I had not encountered it before. And yes, Diane, it’s actually possible for someone to be in a situation where one is subject to rules and not be aware of the specifics of the rules.

I’m not asking for a constitution or a Magna Carta or even a statute book. But I think it’s reasonable when I’m accused of breaking a rule that the rule that I’m supposed to have broken be somewhere that I have some reasonable ability to locate.

Throughout life, everyone must exercise judgement. You, me, the rest of the members, and the other staff folks. Unfortunately, here at the SDMB, the staff’s judgement outweighs yours. We are charged with using our judgement to determine acceptable content for this board. That’s why were here, to control the content of the message board. And that you have to accept; you have no choice.

Well, no, I actually have several choices. I can continue to post and say nothing. I’ve done that before. I can leave. Done that too. Or, as in this case, I can question the rule in a manner that I feel has been fairly respectful (minus the odd self-deprecating comment) in the hope that the powers that be come to agree with the correctness of my position. Of course the staff has the ultimate authority to decide what (and who) stays and goes, and I’m not disagreeing with that. But the last I checked, moderators are still human beings and as such are fallible. If you’re too thin-skinned to take criticism of your decisions without getting this huffy about it, you may be in the wrong business.

[Ferrous]

Just checking in here to see if dalovindj has apologized to Esprix for the misunderstanding yet…

::looks around::

Nope. Oh well.

[eirroc]

Originally posted by ferrous
Just checking in here to see if dalovindj has apologized to Esprix for the misunderstanding yet…

::looks around::

Nope. Oh well.

Maybe dalovindj should appologise ferrous, he certainly did jump all over Esprix, but it sure looked to me like Esprix was baiting him. IMHO of course.