This is the funniest thing thats happened to me in a few week, and I had to share it here, since i think a lot of my IRL friends would be judgemental of the whole online personals thing.
I have an ad posted at nerve.com. My long term SO moved out on me (to toronto) in April and around the same time i swiched career tracks and starting working out of my home, so its been sort of tricky to meet people who might be dateable. The SO and i had discovered nerve/salon.spring street, while we were together and when she moved, it seemed like the thing to do. I was never sure if it was going to just be a distraction until i regained my emotional and social equilibrium, or if was a genuinely reasonalbe ay to meet people. Most of my experience there has led me to believe the former is the case.
And way, one of the very few promising interactions I’ve had started when I recieved a “collect call” from this girl. Collet calls are generic, FREE responses to ads that express interst and direct the recipient to the profile of the sender, without allowing them to attach any personal message. You have to pay a buck to send an actual message.
I checked out her profile: (lets call her Thelma) she is cute, likes guiness, the simpsons, john cusack movies, came across as literate and funny, and mentioned being fairly recently out of a long term relationship and looking for people to hang out with. THIS IS EXCELLENT, i thought to myself. So i wrote her back.
We exchanged a few flirty emails, and i was working up to asking her if she wanted to get a drink sometime, when she suddenly, and for no discernable reason, stopped writing me back.
Hmm. ok. I left her alone.
A day or so later, i was working from home and recieved another response to my ad, so i wanderd back to nerve to chck it out, it was nothing promising, but while i was there, i decided to see if anything else was new. I found a pictureless profile for a girl in chicago who was looking exclusively for “PLAY”, (euphamism for “adult fun”), her headline was “Can you satisfy me now?”
i snickered. nothing in the ad let me to think that this person had a brain, and i actually thought it was probably some pervy guy posing as a girl to get off. I wrote back a semi heckling, snarky response, a haiku, actually.
(lets call this one Louise). So louise responds to my snarky response with a surpisingly funny and literate comeback. I laugh and write back and an email correspondece ensues. I ask her why she’s trolling for sex online in the middle of the afternoon, she goes into the heat, and how it always makes her horny… etc… but she’s very funny about it, and is, in an odd way starting to turn me on.
I’ll glaze over the next part, in the interest of not turning this into a Penthouse Forum letter, but we had a fairly down and dirty email exchange that afternoon, complete with digital camera generated visual aides. Totally out of character for me, and as she insisted, for her too. After a couple of hours of this, we both went on our way, alluding vaguely to the possibility of doin’ it again sometime.
Later that afternoon, i was curious about Thelma not writing me any more so I dropped her another casual line saying “where you been?” or something. still hear nothing back. Dissapointed, as i had started to develop something of a schoolboy crush on her.
A few days pass, saturday morning I am online working again, checking nerve, and i get another email from Louise, and the one hand typing begins again. 
Afterwards I ask her if she wants to get together for a beer and potentially move this little fantasy along (again, very not like me, but there was something about the way she wrote that was intriguing to me, and indicative of somebody i could be attracted to). She teased me about it, and said she had no plans tuesday night and that maybe we could get together late that night.
iwrote back that yes, i would like that. And penciled it in, all the while wondring what ever happened to Thelma. Well yesterday, monday, i wrote to Louise to try to firm up our plans for tonight, and afterwards I felt sorta wierd about it, like i wasn’t sure whether i could go thru with such a thing after all and i got to thinking about Thelma, and how cute she had been, and wondering why she had stopped writing me, so i wrote her one final email, saying, basically, “look, i don’t know what happened, or whay we stopped talking, but i was enjoying talking to you and would love to hear back from you, if only to find out why you stopped writing, was it something i said?”
Thelma writes me back that afternoon…
*Bad Hat-
guess who has multiple personalities? I’m not respectable enough to write you as Thelma anymore… hee hee…
-Louise*
I had been had. but in a funny way. the dirty minded lusty sex monster and the sweet innocent school boy crush were one in the same. I’m sure at least a few of you saw that coming, but amazingly enough I didn’t.
But in a way, isn’t that a dream come true? I wrote her back that i thought the whole thing was hysterical, and now wanted to hang out more than ever. She wrote back, and said, sure but only if thers no pressure or expectations. Of course there aren’t. I wrote back and told her so. And proposed a bar near her work to meet at for a drink tonight after we both get off work. Haven’t heard back from her yet, but since its email, i’m not rushing to judgement, hoping that she just hasn’t checked her email yet.
I now have a big crush on her (somewhat irrationally i suppose, but nonetheless), and if we should happen to hook up, or date, or just mess around for a while, i would have the best “how did we meet” story EVER…
I just couldn’t tell the story to anybody, 'cept you guys…
i’ll keep everybody posted
CJ
