Wildest Bill: The Contest!

[Ben]

Given the ongoing speculation over whether Wildest Bill is actually a Christian in any meaningful sense, I’ve decided to hold a contest. The object? To find threads in which Wildest Bill commits each of the Seven Deadly Sins. For those of you who missed Cecil’s recent column, they are:

1. Pride
2. Envy
3. Anger
4. Sloth
5. Avarice
6. Gluttony
7. Lust

Bear in mind that I don’t mean any dinky sins here. After all, we all get angry sometimes. And avarice? I know I could deal with some extra cash. When I say deadly sins, I mean things like Anger-with-a-capital-A, anger so intense that it truly deserves the other name so often given to that sin: Wrath.

This thread is almost too easy as an example of Wrath. Admittedly, WB apologized for demanding the indiscriminate slaughter of all Muslims in response to a terrorist attack by enemies who were at the time completely unknown. But then again, his apology turned out to be worth so much less than any of us thought, what with him continuing to spout his anti-Muslim conspiracy theories.

Nonetheless, I’ll give bonus points for threads containing Sins of which WB has never repented. (Also, I should mention that bonus points are awarded for threads which WB started, even though a thread can be submitted even if WB only posted to it.) Take this thread, for example. Avarice? Envy? Sloth? Where to begin? Unfortunately, this isn’t Scrabble, and I won’t be awarding triple-sin points. List the Sins that you think are relevant to your submission, and indicate which category is, IYO, most relevant.

Let the contest begin!

-Ben

[lenin]

Hmm, just did a search of the last 2 years in the Pit with Wildest Bill as the username…

There sure are some pretty fine examples of wrath in this little mess, such as these gems:

“Some country NEEDS TO get NUKED!”
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=86481

“Sheesh Docs You Went to School for 9+ yrs Can’t You Make a Bill People Can READ?”
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=82737

“Virus Starters Should Get the Death Penalty!”
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=56742

“Newspapers SUCK!”
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=43955

But, hey, it’s the pit. What can you expect? Looking in GD, I can find these gems…

“Find a cure for cancer… Why would they?”
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=63476

To me, this looks like an example of perhaps Avarice(he doesn’t want money to be used to fund cancer research).

And from IMHO, we can find…

“Your favorite animal pranks”
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=85520

(Note: This does not fall into a specific category… But it still stikes me as not quite orthodox behavior)

“Hey Girls How Big Do You Like Your Guys?”
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=52986

I consider this lust… Or at least trying to get people to feel lust…

“Who Thinks Dark Roots Looks Good on a Blonde?”
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=82152

Another lust one.

From MPSIMS…

“Do You Get Annoyed When People Come into Your Office When You’re Posting on the SDMB?”
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=59146

Sloth here- Why is he posting on the SDMB if he should be working?

“Has Anybody Here Ever Thrown a Grenade?”
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=65622

Envy- Of people who have thrown grenades. (It’s a bit of a stretch, but you can see it in the OP)

So, that leaves Gluttony and Pride. And a look in the GQ finds…

“Why Does It Hurt to Pee After Sex/Orgasm?”
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=73379

Pride- Come on, you think he’s posting just to tell us it hurts when he pees?

“Ok Is What I’m Taking Considered a Mexican Fat Burner?”
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=70511

Gluttony. Pure and simple.

[chique]

Please don’t forget this one in IMHO, “Some thoughts on dove hunting from a vehicle”. If that’s not pure laziness I don’t know what is.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=89113

What’s the difference between standing in some field getting bothered by bugs or riding in a truck with the a/c on(inotherword hunting in confort)?

Indeed :rolleyes:

[Zenster]

I’d love to respond to this brilliant contest but to do so would require that I actually read through a substantial torrent of WB’s bull pizzle. This is a prize that is most certainly not worth the suffering to win.

[Kat]

Would the use of Mexican fat-burners be an example of Sloth (not willing to put effort into losing weight in a healthy manner) or Pride (using drugs to improve his appearance)?

[Protesilaus]

Pride
Post Here if You Beat"The World is Not Enough" on 007 Level

Ha I did it. And this will probably be the only place I can a brag about it and be recognized by my accomplishment in doing so. Although doing it didn’t make me one red cent or no did I learn one new thing about life.

Lust
I’m Sorry But Chicks Look Better With Makeup

They do! I mean I use to have this friend of mine that didn’t want his chick to put make up on. I would lie and say she looked better without it. I think the deal was he didn’t want as many guys checking her out because he was insecure.

Me I’m not insecure. I like my wife with make up better than I do without. I mean she looks “ok” without but with “Vavoom” see the difference. If I had to pick one type of makeup for women, it would have to be eye makeup. It just brings out there eyes which is what makes women look better than men. I mean some masscarra(sp), eye liner and a cool eye shadow just makes a chick look better.

I mean that is why Cleopatra looked so good was because of her eyes. Lipstick is ok but it gets all over everything. Base is ok but sometimes it makes them look to pale.

Anyway this is my take on chicks and makeup. They look better with it. If a guy tells you look better without it, he is an unsecure liar.

Ask the Gay Guy III!

How can y’all possible find a dude more attractive than a chic. While there some “decent” looking guys they just don’t compare to a girl. They(women) are softer than us, usually smell better, less hairy, more empathetic and have more fun things to have fun with than a guy has to be blunt. I know this is probably just my opinion as a hetrosexual but I really can’t even see how women find even find us guys attractive other than if they didn’t the earth probably wouldn’t be very populated.

Sloth
What Did You Do With Your Time Before the Internet Came Along & SDMB?

Well, I spent more time with my family, being productive on the job, and video games.

I am so glad the internet came along. Now I can talk & argue with people I have never have and probably never will meet and learn how to type fast.

I have learned how to make little smiley faces and use the “quote thing”.

Well what did ya’ll do with your time before the internet and message boards came along?

So, basically, he’s glad for the internet because he could be spending that time working.

I Think I Have Ran Out of Things To Start Threads About?

But seriously, I don’t know what to do now? Should I do some work at work…Naaaa.

So please tell me what you know about writers block and how writers get over it. Otherwise I am going to have to start working. :eek:

I Think Video Games Are Designed to Waste Your Time

As an example lets look at 007 “Goldeneye.” They give you two levels that you can play all of the other levels are “locked” in otherwords you can’t play those until you beat the proceding level. Then there our two bonus levels that you cannot play until you beat all of the levels on the skill of 00 agent.

Man it took a year and half of my life off and on to beat that game to get to the “bonus” levels. I wouldn’t of spent near that much time if they would have let me just “try” all of the other levels first without completing the previous ones before I could do so. Anyway what is the point making you go though all those levels just to “play” futher ones unless they are just trying to waste your time. I mean you already payed for the game they got your money why do they want your time?

Example no 2. “Excitebike” on Nintedo 64 same thing as “Goldeneye” you got to beat one round before the let you on knew tracks. BTW this game is “awesome” besides this one problem of not letting you play any level you want anytime. I feel just like Jeremy McGrath flying high then jamming into a turn.

Anyway, this has really been bothering me because it seems like these games are trying to “steal” your time on this earth. Why? Is this a conspiracy or what?

Avarice
I think Women Should Buy The Guy an Engagement Present(let the gender war begin)

I think it is a crock a guy is suppose to spend what he makes for what three months on a stupid piece of glass that women find “pretty”(how nice). This tradition blows especially in todays climate. Why do we have to buy something that valuble to take the chick off the market for us to marry later. Afterall we(guys) are off the market too.

Why don’t they buy us a motorcycle or some power tools or guns to keep us off the market. I mean we are more of valuble commodity than women(since there are more women than men now). So they should have to “buy” our commitment to marry them. Right?

I mean who came up with the three months salary bull in the first place. The girl should be lucky to get us in the first place I mean they could die an old maid right?

Now granted if the dude is pretty ugly and the chick is a looker, than yes he should fork over some bucks to keep her off the market so to speak. But if the guy is goodlooking as a guy as the girl is girl, than I think the girl should buy him something to keep him off the market.

Of course if the guy decides not to marry the girl than he should give back the engagment present to her just like the chick should give the dude back the ring if she changes her mind(and interest on the money IMHO).

Well what do ya’ll think of this new thought of mine? Am I off my rocker or does it make sense? You know the best thing about traditions is breaking’em.

I guess I am just feel horribly sick today and I thought I would rant a little plus I remember making payments on that mineral out the ground I bought for my wife for three years.

Oh one more thing why I am at it. I think the marriage cost should be split by both groom and bride parents(especially since I have two girls)

Are Weddings Financially Stupid?

I think YES! I mean you spend all that money for that event that last at best 5 to 6 hours. And for a decent wedding cost between 8 to 40 grand. Man, that is a car or two or three(that will last longer than one day). You are probably saying to yourself what am I getting so riled up about now?

Well, you see I have TWO daughters and in our culture I am suppose to pay for these lavish events. No wonder a father always wants a boy when his wife is expecting. He knows all he has to pay for then is a rehersal dinner and a Tux. . Seriously, though I love my girls I am still not going to like writing the check to that pansy wansy “Frac”(or however you spell his name) from the movie “Father of the Bride.”

That is another thing that I think is not fair how come the father of the bride has got to eat the whole amount? Who came up with that stupid tradition? I think it would be fair that both families split that cost down the middle. And I think that should be changed. Can you change a tradition?

Well, you see I did see that movie the other night so it got me thinking about this wedding stuff. It was such a classic. Just a good family movie without a bunch of profanity, sex and violence(don’t get me wrong I still like violent movies hey I am dude) but still very entertaining. Steve Martin is so funny and relatable.

I am so bad listen to this. My daughters are both young 14 and 8 and I tried to make a deal with them now to agree to elope when they get married. I told them I would give them 4 grand a piece but they have to agree now. And they(typical females) both said “no way dad we want to see you sweat like ole Steve Martin did.” Then they smiled.

Does anybody feel the way I do?

[Ben]

*Originally posted by Kat *
**Would the use of Mexican fat-burners be an example of Sloth (not willing to put effort into losing weight in a healthy manner) or Pride (using drugs to improve his appearance)? **

I count Mexican Fat-Burners as Gluttony, since he prefers illegal drugs (which force his family to suffer his irritability) to dieting. If you want Sloth, think of all his threads on steroids.

Pride was a good observation on your part- I didn’t think of the fact that pursuing appearance to a dangerous degree is Pride (as opposed to mere pride,) but you’re entirely correct.
-Ben

[xcheopis]

Mexican Fat-Burners may get a double-charge on the Deadly Sin count but I think it leans heavily (heh) towards Pride.

The way in which any of the named sins goes from a misdemenour to a felony charge is the extent to which it (the sin) pulls a Christian’s mind away from the contemplation of God and focuses instead on the her/his self. Thus, it is perfectly acceptable to enjoy food but not to the point where you think only of food. No problem with keeping yourself healthy but obsessing over looks is not exactly in the realm of the spiritual; which is where, presumably, the thoughts of a Christian should remain.

The Fat-Burners are used whether the person in question actually has a problem with obesity or not. Here, Bill is thinking only about how he looks, not about food. So I’d say it was a Pride issue.