What, no mention of “Daddy’s Little Girl”, or “Butterfly Kisses?”
How about Ave Maria? -oh wait, that was said.
Uh, the theme song from Sesame Street or Won’t You Be My Neighbor would be extremely disturbing.
My first thought was “It’s A Pig” from Andrew Lloyd Webber’s show “By Jeeves.” Obscure and inappropriate.
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Although you could probably dance/strip to it, “A Lap Dance is So Much Better When the Stripper is Crying” by the Bloodhound Gang comes to mind for lyrics.
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Any Irish drinking song would be pretty tough, especially if the audience participated by shouting out the chorus.
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William Shatner’s “Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds” would also be pretty tough.
Bill Withers’ Grandma’s Hands would be a bit creepy.
And a novelty song from the late 50s or early 60s. Transfusion by “Nervous Norvus”
Oh, and Larry Verne’s Please Mr. Custer. Seriously weird.
Peter, Paul and Mary The Wedding Song
The Carpenters We’ve Only Just Begun
Must. Stop. Now.
Heh, At Seventeen was the first in my mind as well.
The second? Jesus Loves Me :eek:
“Entrance of the Gladiators”. Unless you’re into that whole naughty clown/balloon play fetish.
“I’m My Own Grandpa”. West Virginia, Arkansas, and Alabama strippers excepted.
“Drunken Sailor”. Even the electric folk version by Captain Tractor seems wrong. "Shave his belly with a rusty razor/ Shave his belly with a rusty razor/ So early in the morning…. doesn’t get me all hot and bothered, YMMV.
“War in Peace” - Skip Spence. Too slow, too long, too spacy, too meandering.
“Sam Stone” - John Prine. Slow songs about heroin addicted war vets aren’t conducive to booby shaking, IMO.
“You Can’t Rollerskate in a Buffalo Herd” and “Husbands and Wives” - Roger Miller. One is too goofy and the other is a laidback rumination about failing marriages.
“Mrs. Brown (You’ve Got a Lovely Daughter)” - Herman’s Hermits.
Lots of Tom T. Hall songs like “Who’s Gonna Feed Them Hogs”, “Old Dogs, Children, and Watermelon Wine”, “I Love”, "One Hundred Children, “Homecoming” , “That’s how I Got to Memphis”, and tons more. Between the man’s voice, the tempo of most of his songs, and the subject matter not much to inspire pole dancing.
“Welfare Line” - Buck Owens. Among others of his, if only for his voice.
Amazing Grace.
The bagpipe version.
Regards,
Shodan
[Joey voice] *Songs? * You guys know there’s naked chicks, right?[/Joey voice]
“The Crying Game”
Gilette - “Short, Short Man”
The Village People - “In the Navy”
“I’m a Little Teapot”
We Are the World
There have been many good suggestions so far, but this is the one that made me laugh out loud. (The Cantina song came close, though.) Pass the blood to me, spud.
Another thought: “Stan” by Eminem. I think that would just come across as creepy.
Oh, and another: Barry Sadler’s “Ballad of the Green Berets”. No rhythm, no sexy lyrics, just a stately march.
Gospel standard “Rock of Ages”
“Kill the Poor” - Dead Kennedys
“Honey” - Bobby Goldsboro
“DOA” - Bloodrock
“Don’t Fear the Reaper” - Blue Oyster Cult
I don’t know if Isla has spent much time in strip clubs, but Pantera seems to be a staple… at least around my neck of the woods.
And Guinistasia beat me to it. Except that I actually saw a stripper perform to ‘Butterfly Kisses’ once. It was as awful and awkward as you would expect…
Baby Elephant Walk.
American Pie,
MacArthur Park,
Handel’s Halleluiah Chorus,
Beethoven’sFifth Symphony,
Why Don’t We Do It In The Road.
There are soooo many, really.
“Road to Hell” - Chris Rea
“I’d do anything, but I won’t do that” - Meatloaf
Ode to Joy from Beethoven 9, with Clockwork Orange manic grin :eek:
Years ago, I went to a strip club and actually saw a dancer perform to Zombie by The Cranberries. That has stuck with me as the most inappropriate song to strip to, ever.
Southern gospel music in general, but I’ll say any a capella or gospel vocal group version of “Workin’ on a Building”.
Gregorian chant not tricked out by Enigma or other New Age or electronica types.
“Hello Mutha, Hello Fadda” - Allan Sherman
A Chipmunks cover of anything or “The Chipmunk Song”. David Seville version of “Witch Doctor”, same thing/same artist pretty much.