I’d do pretty much anything for my friends. Need someone to help you move? Need a warm meal and a place to sleep? Want an extra kidney? Just ask, if you are my friend I’ll do it.
However, there comes a time in every deep friendship where you can truly trust each other. And when this time comes, the game of “who can out-asshole the other guy” begins.
Oh sure, it starts innocent enough. You call their cell phone repeatedly at 3AM and leave joke voicemails. They retaliate by sneaking into your room and making Goatse your new screensaver. The next morning they wake up to a call from an Army recruiter stemming from the handy form you filled out in their name.
Well, members of the Straight Dope, I am currently losing this war. The last shot fired from the other side was big, and I just don’t know how to top it.
Ok, let me set this up. For the sake of anonimity, let’s call the friend Alistair_McCello, who most certainly NOT post on this board . Anyway, we are eating out at a Steak & Shake. He goes out to the car first while another friend (Matt) and I go up to pay. Matt and I get outside and the car is gone.
We had to walk back to Matt’s apartment. At night. Through road construction and heavy traffic. For 7 miles. SEVEN MILES!! It took about 2 hours. About every 10 minutes, **Alistair_McCello ** would drive by honking. He didn’t quit laughing for about 5 hours.
So I need a way to retaliate. Any ideas? What have you guys done in these situations?