Amusing statement that OP now owes poster new monitor and note to self to not drink tea and read OPs thread at same time.
Half-assed attempt to make a comment relative to topic at hand.
Other posters left wondering what was funny and wishing posters wouldn’t talk about things that clearly didn’t happen.
Sig line missing due to lack of anyone saying anything to poster yet.
Lengthy prose piece primarily devoted to description of life in an idealized historic American society of the last century, redolent with sympathetic emotional preferences for classical virtues, and simplistic morals.
Confusing reminiscence of events from someone’s youth, possibly the poster, possibly not. Hearth wrenching tragedy and enduring of suffering related with tear invoking pathos. Simplistic and self serving description of the nobility of human tragedy.
Blatantly partisan political endorsement unrelated to any previous post, or line of discussion. Assurance to all that God will triumph, and the those supporting the posters political aims will enjoy the fruits of their faithfulness.
Banal and often stated political slogan
Initial and lengthy self depriciating appology for newness to SD.
Spout Pithy wisdom Gleaned from Watchtower retrieved from local waste receptical.
Prepare audience for forthcoming new and undisprovable theory and proof of existence of higher power.
Post theory
Theory: God exists.
Proof: Beer, chocolate chip cookies, and breat implants demonstrate omnipotence, onmiscince, and omibenevolence
Check of Proof: Without above items, life would cease to exist
Witty and Egotistical challenge to all and sundry to try and disprove unasailable and ignorant stance.
Atempt at further witicism, followed by Lame signature, and promise of better one in future
You folks give a whole new meaning to the phrase “Can I get a witness!”
Direct reply to OP.
Poster’s Name
Useless .sig
“WTF” post when previous poster realizes the thread is several months old.
Pointless rant over frustration when people revive long-dead threads. Acknowledges differences of opinions on matter.
Gratuitous homosexual flirtation because of OP’s homophobia.
Poster’s Name
Useless .sig
single word which signifies that the poster is moving thread to the top of the list
Because we thought it was about the Harrison Ford movie too and not a meta-thread.
Observation that Genesis is not exactly a blueprint for the universe. Suggestion that OP could also become a recovering fundie.
Pondering why Kelly McGlillis was topless in Witness but not in Top Gun.
Link to Misplaced Reply
Explanation of mistake.
Cut and paste from accidental thread.
Attempt to prove that God is pursuing denizens of SDMB by triggering resurrections of thread.
Response to post made on page 1 of thread, skipping quote of post, making everyone wonder if it’s really worth it to go back and view said post for him/herself.
References to private Christian-college education. Inference that OP is more qualified than other posters to comment on this topic.
Hint that OP will help out God by bumping thread to the top every month or so, so that more SDMB members will see convicting writings of OP.
Wondering if thread will ever die and give OP time to complete scale of ancient Jeruselem, the better to appreciate the nuances of Bible stories.
Uncritical or sarcastic, automatically accepting reference to the stellar theological work done by Paul and Jan Crouch on TBN.
Reference to Darwin recanting evolution on deathbed.
Attempt to lead future readers in prayer.
Sign-off.
(Honest thanks to Francesca for compliment)
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Humorous reference to .gif in naive appreciation for image no one can see.
Unwitting parallel drawn in first statement regarding nature of faith versus temporal discernment and the broken link to .gif as yet unknown to poster.
Lengthy diatribe of great pith and moment punctuated with wry cynicism describing visceral perception of Diety and generalization of vague ‘human condition’ assertation.
Self-correction. Amended statement withdrawing generalization. Sheepish admission of blatant guesswork before successive posters seize opportunity to reveal inherent ignorance.
Non sequitur of semi-personal nature in effort to endear possibly acerbic majority to self.
Semi-rhetorical dissertation of dichotomy between large corporate coffee franchises and locally owned “mom-and-pop” [sic] cafes. Analogy drawn to “repressed buds only waiting to bloom.”
Insertion of various minutiae in effort to clarify. Rebuttal of self. Ad hominem directed toward “middle management complacents.” Summary vilification of “Mac-Daddies” bent upon destructive tendencies.
Pause.
Pause.
Medication takes effect. Poster inquires as to topic of current discussion. Withdraws after offering information on canine’s diarrhetic dysfunction and cumulative effects on chintz.
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Reference to Shakespeare.
Remark bordering on contrivance. Self-deprecating acknowledgement of possibly contrived remark. Apology. Pause.
Reference to Samuel Beckett.
Comment to previous poster that .gif links do not work.
Reminder to preview.
Humorous comment about “resurrection” of thread.
Luminiferous disquisition anent rodomontade. Inapposite praecognita. Sycophantic etiology quaquaversum Gaudere.
Compendious asseveration. Metemphirical compurgation.
Turgid egress.
Pawky Zeitgeist.
Simple post praising the previous poster’s sesquipedalianism.
Random Homer Simpson quote.
at resurrection of thread.
Unsolicited and unwelcome whine about the fact that she (McKenna) is using parent’s computer while waiting to move out of apartment three states away wherein resides her own computer with cable connection. Complaint about slowness of parent’s modem and wistful remark about how slow her own will soon be since no cable connection available at location being moved to. Growl at cable companies and cavalier treatment of New York City’s outer boroughs.
Remembers OP but after three pages has forgotten what they were actually saying. In finest SDMB tradition, decides this is no obstacle.
Segue into unrelated story Dad told about nuns at school. Contradicted by a Mom story about nuns at school. Surmise that nuns treat girls better. Reflection on nuns poster knew that were actually pretty cool and very kind and helpful. Defensiveness about this reflection. Overly hysterical remark about anti-Catholicism being the anti-Semitism of the left.
Signoff. Just as send button is hit, realization that sig (pithy Duckman quote that loses everything out of context) is also back in Boston on old computer.
Wonderment at E.
(2 posts, member since 1999. What’s up with that!?!)
Uncomfortable feeling at juxtaposition of Satan and BANNED, in thread about Witnessing.
Jerkish behavior. Ad hominem insult. Cross posting.
Link to illegal activity.
Completely fabricated complaint about moderator in wrong forum. Appeal to teeming millions for mutinous rebellion.
Attempt to troll for sympathy. Usage of handle, with unnoticeable variation, of respected long-time poster in good standing.
Post denoting anger at quoted poster for forcing poster to scratch his head.
Appropriate sig line.
[Appropriate Authoritative Apparel ON]
Expression of feigned sorrow at jerkish poster’s inevitable forced departure.
[Appropriate Authoritative Apparel OFF]