On seeing the title of a Pit Thread, “How dare you tell me to F*** Off” My mischievous mind thought of a response (to the title)…
“You just saw”. (as in, you just saw how it was possible for me to dare to tell you to F**** Off)
It may seem like an obnoxious thing to do, but I wonder if there are other witty(er) responses one can use when someeone says “How dare you ” to you.
Or, to expand the thread further, think of witty responses to other similar common sayings in public. Such as “Do you mind?” or “Is someone sitting here?” Or “Are you reading that newspaper?”
My favorite response to “Is someone sitting here?” is to look over at the empty chair, wave my hand above the seat as if checking for an invisible occupant, and then reply “No, apparently not.”
Being deliberately obtuse by answering well-intentioned questions too literally is not witty. I doubt you want people coming up to you and asking “Excuse me, sir, but that chair next to you, is it the case that someone is using it, but has left intending to return and would be upset if I began to use it, and were still using it upon their return?”
In the Nero Wolfe novel Please Pass the Guilt a client who has been caught in a lie says “You don’t dare…” to Archie Goodwin, to which he responds “I Dare Easy,” followed by a nutshell description of what she did and what he’d like to do in response.
I was walking down 7th Ave one summer day, and noticed a very shapely young Latina who was wearing a tank top, and obviously not wearing a bra. Her nipples must have been poking through her shirt at least a half inch. As she walked past me, she said (in a playful way):
