*–look up from magazine as plane spirals downward and cabin descends into chaos–
–slowly, calmly, reach up and press the “service requested” button–
–go back to magazine–*
“Can everyone help me look around for my contact lens?”
(bonus points if you’re the captain and you say this on the PA)
“Are we there yet?”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
i forgot to turn off the oven!!!”
“Will you stop kicking the seat already?”
what if you were in the bathroom at that moment?
A-ha! I knew this flying thing was a scam. You pay for a round trip, but they only take you one way!
“Ha! I bet my wife is gonna feel like shit after yellin at me this morning for the toilet seat!”
“You said DON’T cut the bare wires?! Aw man I’m such an idiot…”
“I will fight ANY man on this plane to the death!”
“So NOW you tell me we’re gonna die! Ten minutes AFTER I ate that god-awful steak.”
(singing) “This is the song that never ends…”
“Nobody panic! I just saw a Discovery Channel special about a plane that was about to crash, and this guy tried to save all the people. Oh wait, he failed. Heh…sorry”
Hey, who wants to play Twister!!
And then this other time…? at band camp…?
[Steve Bucemi in Con Air]
He’s got the whole world in his hands…
[/STICA]
Confess all my sins? We’re falling fast, father.
“I got two tickets to the Masters, cheap! Who wants 'em? Get 'em now, folks, it’s a closeout sale!”
people – the thread asks for WITTY things …
The 1st crummy thing that popped into my head:
[BD/AAE]“Fasten your seatbelts, it’s gonna be a bloody flight”[/BD/AAE]
OK, I’ve given this a little more thought. My apologies to pop-culture.
Point at the person in the next aisle who’s screaming, ‘Hee-Hie-Hoe-Hah’ and say, “I like him, he’s silly.”
“I have a feeling the guy who came up with the saying, ‘The 2 places you won’t find an atheist is in a foxhole or in bed’ was obviously never in a jetliner plunging 900 miles per hour towards earth.”
“Tangible manifestation is very often left as evidence of trespass”
Light up a cigarette and challenge the stewardess to report you
Scream “Allah Akbar” in your most hate-filled voice. Hey you never know – there might be something to that ‘72 Virgins in Heaven’ thing.
Break out the acoustic guitar and start a rousing sing-along with the words “Look out the left, the captain said the lights down there that’s where we’ll land…”
See if you can sneak up to first class without getting caught.
Speak into the oxygen mask dangling in front of you, and ask, “Is this thing on?”
Bullwinkle, this thread is hysterical!
Eh, all I can come up with is a song I’d be singing by Nirvana just to liven up the crowd:
Where do bad folks go when they die?
They don’t go to heaven where the angels fly
They go down to the lake of fire and fry
Won’t see them again till the fourth of July…
“Does this mean we get free drinks for the next 3-5 minutes?”
“I’m not usually a praying man, but if you’re up there, save me Superman!”
I can meet you half-way.
" I knew i had a bad feeling about this flight when they started playing ‘Final Destination’ . "
start singing “I believe I Can Fly” by Seal
“This doesnt have to be a waste, aim for the white house AIM FOR THE WHITE HOUSE!!”
calmly get up and say “alright, alright where are the cameras ?”
“Had I known this was the flight to hell I would of taken 1st class”
“At least we wont have to eat each other”
“I knew this wasnt going to be a safe flight when I saw duct tape on the plane”
Rocky, I’ve never had to die before,
Don’t know if I can do it…
“Surprise! You’ve been Punk’d.”
Pretty soon I won’t care if you burn!