eh, that would be the Meat Puppets
Does anyone know how this movie ends?
It’s the Rapture!
I hate it when this happens!
Turn to the person next to you and say calmly,
“You know statistically speaking, it’s still safer than driving.”
or
“Well I’ll be damned, I can see the future in my dreams.”
Slightly harsh, don’t you think?
“I knew I was going to regret sleeping with bin Laden’s sister!”
THAT`S not very witty…
“You know, I was going to mention the gremlin on the side of the plane, but then I thought, ‘He’s probably just flying coach.’”
“I guess I should have expected this when I realized I was flying on ‘Flaming Death to the Infidels Airlines’. My bad.”
“Everybody remain calm… I’ve seen Titanic twenty-seven times, so I know what to do. Now, to the lifeboats!”
I bet we’re going to be on the radio…
and the console and the windshield and the altimeter and…
“You know, I think it was Voltaire that said “…the safest course is to do nothing against one’s conscience. With this secret, we can enjoy life and have no fear from death.””
“Can I have the rest of your lasagne?”
“FLAP YOUR ARMS!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD…FLAP!”
“HAHAHA…Try to collect my back taxes now, IRS!”
“I…LIKED…GIGLI!!”
“What if we all jump just before this thing piles into the ground, I bet that would work.”
Wheeeee!!!
“I probably shouldn’t have boarded the plane after seeing the pilot laying on the floor in the bar…”
“I want a simple funeral, and for Eve to organize a tour of the boneyard I end up in.”
“Damn!!! I expected to die in a flaming aircraft wreck. But, it was supposed to be on the maiden flight or my homemade zeppelin!”
“Pascal’s wager! Place yer bets! Place yer bets!”
“Don’t worry. In a minute, Donnie Darko will wake up in his bedroom and none of this will ever have happened.”
“Dying isn’t so bad. I’m worried more about the sanity of whoever finds my porn.”
“Lesseeee…what to do first? Haunt the women’s locker room or get that million from Randi?”
Or I could just start singing the obvious…
“You gotta look on the bright side of death…”
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA — Hey, look, Wrigley field. … Go Cubbies! … AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—"
Hey, all I have to do is get on the cell phone and call someone and say “Let’s Roll”, and I’ll be a HERO!!!
“Crap. Alannis Morrisette was wrong. Irony isn’t exactly what I’m feeling right now.”
Damn! I wanted witty things and I got shitty wings.
sanja I think these have been witty. I don’t see you contributing any comic brilliance to this thread.
Okay, you people have come up with some good ones.
Hope mine are nearly as good.
To the gorgeous babe sitting next to me “Hey, do you crash here often” ?
“This is still better than Amtrak !!”
“Well…so far so good huh ?”
Giving my age away here…
“You won’t believe how much I want to see Allen Funt make his appearance right about now.”
Gee, gallows humor is fun isn’t it ?