“I cheated on the contest Jerry - I CHEATED!”
[in a Scotty voice]
I dinna know if I ken hold 'er together much longer, captain!
I have a cunning plan, m’lord!
whips out flip phone to open it, begins in best Shatner voice
“Scotty… we need power in three… minutes… or we’ll all DIE! Scotty… do you… read me?”
“Damn you Sir Isaac Newton! Damn you straight to hell!”
I’m squishing the pilot with my fingers, I’m squishing him, I’m squishing him, I’m squishing the stewardess with my fingers, I’m squishing her, I’m squishing her…
“well at least the plane will go down on me”
Preferably loudly, and while staring pointedly at the person in the next seat - helps if it’s your SO - or not.
“Some people will do anything to avoid the in-flight meals”
Singing…
“I ain’t got no-bodyyyyyy”
Funniest two yet (IMHO).
I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.
:::looking at Andy Licious::::
[Squidward]
Great, even in death I attract the loonies.
[/squidward]
Bob, here’s that ten bucks I owe ya.
[Johnny Cash]
I fell in to a burning ring of fire. Went down, down, down, and the flames went higher.
[/Johnny Cash]
-
So Stewardess since we only have moments to live, can I go ahead and have those nifty First class noise reduction head phones?
-
Pardon me Stewardess but mind if I smoke?
That Donnie Darko thing is still cracking my ass up.
I’d want to climb on top of the plane and yell “Yee haa! Yeee Haaa!” while swinging a cowboy hat in wide circles over my head.
But that’s just me.
-k
Well, I wouldn’t want you to feel … Left Behind!
“Hey, when we get to Heaven I got dibs on that chick in seat 3A.”
“Attention, everyone! The Co-Pilot says he can fix the engine but he needs a box cutter or a nail file.”
[into airphone]
WAAZZZZZZZZAAAPPPPPPPPPPP!!!
<unbuckling trousers> “Finally! I knew the day would come when premature ejaculation was an asset instead of a humiliating emcumbrance!”