Well tall is relative. I’m taller than most of the men I meet but occasionally I run into a man who dwarfs me.
Preference for taller men is VERY ingrained into women’s preferences. In 1980 they did a survey of couples bank applications and of 720 applications only one had a taller woman.
Can someone break down this argument for me? 'Cause I’m not getting why this is even a matter for debate.
A preference for a man taller than themselves isn’t a preference because it’s a really, really popular preference? 
I mean, if you find men taller than yourself attractive solely because you have high cupboards, I suppose that’s arguably a not-appearance related reason. But if the only men who make your heart flutter at the club are those taller than you and you have no intention of bringing them all home to fetch the waffle iron from the top shelf, then you have an appearance based preference. A really, really, common appearance based preference.
Is a woman’s preference for a taller man, or a man’s for a shorter woman not just something that happens because it’s what we’re used to? I am a woman of average height - most men of average height are a few inches taller than me. When I started dating in my late teens and early twenties, guys my age were usually taller than me, so that is the picture I’m accustomed to and it just feels “right”. Is it intrinsic, or just something we’re socialized to consider the norm?
I am attracted to tall men, but being tall in and of itself is not all I look for. (Bad internet dating story - 6’5, lean body, blonde hair, blue eyes - hits all my buttons for what I like, but as soon as I heard his voice, I knew our date was doomed. Could not finish my coffee fast enough.)
And it’s still based off of an appearance/physical attribute. What’s so hard to understand about that? You use words like “preference” and “dealbreaker” as if that makes it less appearance-based. “No, I don’t discriminate against short men because of their height, I just *prefer *tall men.” “No, I don’t discriminate against blond people because of their hair color; I just *prefer *brunettes.”
In my experience in online dating, as a man, it’s usually been pretty simple: Some women will say “Sorry, no blacks” or “Sorry, whites only.” Super direct and to the point. Now some debaters (not necessarily you) often like to immediately parse this word game by saying, “But what if it’s a really light African or a really tanned white person?”, and we can play that nitpicking game, but the truth is that, for the vast majority of people, their race is pretty much immediately evident. The population of obviously-white and obviously-black people in the world far exceeds the number of so-lightly-brown-as-to-not-be-able-to-differentiate-the-two people.
Height isn’t always important.
Gomez attracted Morticia for his other attributes.
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/5f/Addams_Family.jpg
Actually, no.
I’m talking about the reaction of my classmates to the exact same photograph, that I’d gotten from a foreign magazine and stuck to my class folder, three days and a Tocata* apart. Friday, “he’s so UGLY!” Monday, “see, I TOLD YOU she had a picture of him! Isn’t he GORGEOUS?!?!?!?!!!<3<3<3”
I am reasonably sure Morten Harket had the same angular face on Friday and on the next Monday. And while his self-confidence may have increased, the picture’s hadn’t. But on the Saturday in between, A-ha was on TV…
That’s not the only time I’ve seen it happen, but it was quite spectacular.
- A music program which was huge back when Spain only had two TV channels.
I read this thread rather quickly, but I didn’t see where anyone said, “Well women are not a monolith, just like men are not a monolith.” There is no single physical feature that is universally attractive to all women.
So for me:
- I like men UNDER 5’ 10". I won’t even consider anyone over 6’ tall. I’m 5’ 2" and I don’t like to feel like I’m a little girl dating a grownup. Also, I like the sexybits to line up so I prefer men who are closer to my height. I get really irritated at the assumption that all or most women prefer tall men. Maybe “most” is accurate, but dammit, I* like* short guys and find them super attractive. I do not understand short women like me who are all about guys over 6’ – why do you want to crane your neck to kiss a guy or whisper in his ear? A huge height disparity makes for terribly awkward dancing.
*I am also a fan of beefcake (well muscled), just because I work out a lot and find myself attractive to other people who stay fit. That is not to say I consider being overweight a dealbreaker – that’s where lifestyle comes into play. If I can’t get his lazy ass up off the couch, we just live wildly different lifestyles and inactivity won’t fit with me.
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I like strong, muscular forearms with square, blocky wrists and hands. If I can see muscle definition in the forearms? Shivers up my spine. Not a fan of thin, graceful, delicate hands on a man. Feels like holding hands with another girl (and I don’t really swing that way).
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I like those little tiny, nearly invisible baby hairs on the back of a guy’s neck. I like to bite them.
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Soccer legs. Soccer butt. I am more attracted to heavily muscled thighs and a nice tight butt than I am to skinny bird legs (with well developed chest/shoulder muscles – that just looks disproportional). Usually the kind of build one gets from playing a lot of soccer.
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Neatly trimmed fingernails. I don’t require a manicure, but if you want to stick those fingers into my private lady bits, for the love of dog and all that is holy, CUT YOUR DAMN NAILS. Dudes have no idea how painful that can be. It’s like teeth in a blow job; it just shouldn’t happen. Ever.
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Full, kissable lips. I do not like thin lips. Am not motivated to kiss those.
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Clean shaven and I’m probably alone on this one too. I despise facial hair, especially stubble and big, long Gandalf beards (hell, even lumberjack beards – way too much for me). I’ll tolerate a neatly trimmed goatee, but I will secretly hate it and will wish he’d shave that nasty shit off his face. I want to SEE his face and I want to kiss the big smooshy lips without getting a mouth full of prickly hair. Nobody wants to go down on a ferret and I don’t want to make out with one. Besides, stubble just gives me a rash. I don’t want that shit rubbing on my body anywhere. I cannot wait until this stupid hipster beard fad dies so I can get laid again. Gah.
Go zilla! fab post like
Where were you when I was single…
Been right here the whole time… 
No. You’re not.
Well if you’re 5’2" then even someone 5’5" is tall right? Have you ever dated a man who was 4’11"?
Yeah but what she was saying was that she doesn’t want to be the taller person in the relationship. Let’s say she’s 5’4’, a not uncommon height for a woman. A man who is 5’5" would satisfy her preference but I can’t see any interpretation of “tall” that could include men who are 5’5".
Drewder: You and I have pretty much the OPPOSITE taste in men. Nice to know, you won’t be flirting with my husband, like 90% of the men, women, children and animals on the planet. 
You should ask him if he would mind having his picture posted. You’ve gushed endlessly about how much everybody and their grandma hits on him, my curiosity is piqued!
Because it is less appearance-based, that’s the point, IMHO, YMMV, etc. Some women prefer tall men because they find tall men attractive; a lot of women prefer men to be taller than they themselves are because of social norms or whatever.
I remember a time when looks and height were seen as separate qualities, or at least judged independently. I recall a conversation during that time when a bunch of us young women were debating which was more important, looks or height, and height was a contender.
Thank you, I know little of online dating, there’s just something about it that says that kind of restriction is not totally based on appearance either.
If height, weight, body size, etc. are not attributes of physical attraction in potential partners, what is?
I’d just been looking at a sample of some of the more clueless personals ads, with one stand-out that described his racial purity (down to desired “anthropological subrace”) and his love of anime, video games and alt-right anarcho-libertarian philosophy. the first things listed were his IQ and penis size.