A man’s height and ethnicity have nothing to do with looks? Are you listening to yourself? What is the added functional value of several inches of height? There is none. It’s just like breast size, purely cosmetic. I don’t begrudge anyone who has those preferences, but to sublimate it into something that’s more than a pure looks-based restriction is disingenuous.
Put on a blindfold and crawl into bed with a short person. Next, a tall person. Tell the difference? But you can’t see them!
“I only date tall, thin men. But looks aren’t important to me at all.”
It wasn’t an attack on him, more a light hearted dig at gold diggers. Let me clarify that I fully believe that 90 year olds can and do find love among women of all ages.
The smile and dimples are definitely working in your favor. They give you a very friendly, approachable look. You look like the guy who would help keep the jerk away from me in the bar. <----and see? That’s how quickly and seamlessly appearance moves into other more important mating factors in my brain. I don’t like your dimples because dimples are physically attractive to me, I like your dimples because they elicit a whole story in my head that may or may not even be true. Maybe you’re a huge jerk yourself, I dunno. But your dimples/smile suggest to me that you aren’t a jerk, whether it’s true or not.
I think what changes overnight is their confidence. I know, it sounds cliche, but more than height, weight, coloring, hair or lack thereof, what I find sexy is confidence. Someone has a hit single, and their confidence skyrockets.
As, of course, does their access to a stylist, makeup artist, and better photographers.
Confidence lies on a bell curve, of course. There’s low self esteem, confidence, and then arrogance. This is one bell curve you do not want to be on either end of. Strive for the middle.
I’ve always credited my dimples for the fact that I always sold more candy bars and what not for fundraisers growing up.
No, it isn’t. It’s beyond cosmetic and something of a dealbreaker.
The study concerns height only. I find it hard to believe that most people could correctly perceive ethnicity even when it is hitting on them. Mind you my high school sweetheart was Armenian Turkish, and I married a Native American.
Huh? You’re saying that discrimination on the basis of height isn’t about looks, because it goes beyond looks and is a dealbreaker?
That’s like saying that if men won’t date a fat women, it’s not about looks, because fat preference goes beyond looks and is a dealbreaker. I do not see how that makes this any ***less ***about looks at all.
If by ethnicity you mean minutae like “Can you tell the difference between Han Chinese and Zhuang Chinese” then yeah, 99% of people couldn’t. But if you mean much broader categories, like a white Italian vs. a black Zambian then the vast majority sure could.
You say that like they’re mutually exclusive categories but something can be both cosmetic and a dealbreaker.
(your link doesn’t work)
Said the tall, thin woman.
Is it a really a “look” thing to have a height preference? What if you just want to be able to whisper in someone’s ear while standing?
Well is it really a “look” thing to want a particular body type in a partner? Maybe you just want to be able bounce quarters off someone’s ass.
40s male, who’s seen a significant upswing in female attention in the past few years, and asked them just what the deal was.
Physically, I have no idea, as what they tell me they see seems completely different from what I see in the mirror. However, looking like you’re at least aware of weight, fitness, fashion, hair and grooming is definitely a plus, and a lot less universal than you might think.
Much bigger, though, is being someone who’s enjoyable to be around. Being able to talk about something, but interested in what others are saying. Passionate about your own subjects, but able to get excited about what others are into. Having something to say about yourself, while also being interested in what going on with others. Able to make people laugh, without being a dick. And focusing on having a good time with the people around you instead of trying to pick someone up.
Basically, it’s about being self-aware and socially aware and finding the right balance. And most of all, sincerely being the above things, rather than just playing an internal script with the idea that ‘if I do A, B, and C, I can score!’ It’s socializing, not a dating sim.
And FWIW, if your dating profile starts with your penis size, chances are good that you’ve never made eye contact with a woman who wasn’t waiting for you to go away.
Is this actually a thing?! I cannot fathom the mental processes that would lead a guy to talk about his dick size in a dating app profile. Well, one that wasn’t exclusively made for penis size fetishists.
Yes, it’s a thing. Just like women who give their bra size. But these people just assume that’s the one thing everyone’s looking for, that everyone has that fetish. And then there are the profiles that actually SHOW what the person’s got.
Now. Can we say the same for people who give their height or weight right away? Isn’t that really the same thing?
Your question is a very good one IMHO. Where is the line? Body size and shape is clearly Not just a matter of “looks”- don’t you admit that dating people interact with each others’ sizes and shapes in far more ways than simply visually?
But yeah, a tall guy also “looks tall”, sure. But step back from both answers. When looking for a partner, what do women really want? I think it is more often love (or Finding Love, or Falling in Love, or…) than it is with men. I think they are less likely to fetishize a certain kind of body or body part than men are, because love is more a subjective emotional thing than a definable object thing.
So yah, ask 'em and they will say that this or that kind of guy is good-looking. But that isn’t so often their priority. OTOH, I think many women naturally love tall men. This is “other than visual,” though “tall” is of course visually noticable.
I’m saying that height is more about a woman’s preference than the man’s looks, meaning women (and men) mostly prefer the man to be the taller of the two. No, really, that’s all I’m saying.
Agreed. So I’m wondering what an ethnicity restriction looks like.
I am on the short side 5’7". I find the automatically eliminates me from a lot of woman. I have also always had thinning hair from my early twenties. On the other side I have always been well built and stocky, kind of a street fighter laborer type look. A lot of woman have always been attracted to that, usually woman I have regretted associating with. But overall I have found that with my limitations I will still get my fair share of dates just being a decent person reasonably well groomed and polite.
Yes, and what everyone else is saying that you are failing to grasp is that you are fabricating a distinction when there is none.
Saying you prefer men that are not shorter than you is not the same thing as saying you prefer tall men.
I prefer a man who has hair on his head, but at 51 I can let that slide. I don’t like hairy backs, or hairy ears.