Like your boyfriend’s exgirlfriend wants to have a birthday party for your boyfriend’s roommate. But your boyfriend doesn’t want you to come to the party because you might be ‘uncomfortable’?
Kill her.
Don’t worry. This type of problem always solves itself. Usually takes half an hour, or twenty two minutes not counting commercials.
-fh
My advice to you my friend:
Start Drinking Heavily.
If I was the boyfriend in question, I would invite the girlfriend. Tell her in advance that ex-girlfriend is hosting, and she’s free to not attend if she’s uncomfortable. If she still wants to attend, why shouldn’t she? Who am I to decide that she’ll be uncomfortable?
I think the girlfriend has a right to be pissed if the boyfriend wants to go to a party at the ex-girlfriend’s place without her.
(I’m obviously ignoring the “Women” part of the thread title.)
This translates to "your boyfriend doesn’t want you to come to the party because he would be ‘uncomfortable.’
I would then consider that we both might be more comfortable if he were my ex-boyfriend.
Sings, loudly and obnoxiously
IIII’MMMM MY OWN GRANPPPAAAAWWWWWW…
[sub]Sorry. Couldn’t resist.[/sub]
Sounds like B.S. to me. Part of being mature in relationships is being able to handle stuff like this. Maybe the party won’t be as fun as it would be if there weren’t ex-relationship ties involved, but that’s no reason for anyone to stay home. And it sure as hell isn’t anyone’s place to tell someone ELSE to stay home. Everyone shows up and everyone makes the best of it. If someone does decide to bow out, they do so gracefully, of their own will, and without handing out guilt trips.
The boyfriend’s suggestion as your describe it would set off a million red flags for me. I’d either think (a) the boyfriend wants to have a “just like old times!” night with his ex or (b) the boyfriend was somehow ashamed of or secretive about the new girlfriend. Neither of these are acceptable, and I’d say it’s time to have a serious talk–or to find a new boyfriend.
I think you should play to your strengths. Dash off a marginally-related brief response giving questionable advice.
Better listen to him, handy. He’s in pre-Med…
Situations like the one described in the OP are always awkward. I probably wouldn’t want to go anyway, because I don’t like awkward situations, and I’d tell my BF that. If he still really wanted to go to the party, I guess he’d go, and I’d find something else to do that evening. I’d trust him to behave himself. I mean, if I can’t trust the guy, what the heck am I doing with him?
But it would honestly make me wonder a bit about said BF’s possibly selfish tendencies. To me, the selfishness evident in such an act would, as Cranky said, be a definite red flag. My understanding of what it is to be a couple is that you try and reasonably avoid doing stuff that makes the other person uncomfortable or might hurt their feelings, even if it doesn’t necessarily bother you.
I thought it was pre-law?
Hmm…sophomore dies in kiln accident…