Amazingly, I have managed to secure a date with a girl this evening. This is the second time in a year since the break-up with my ex that I have managed this feat. The first time ended in total disaster, but I’m not thinking of this, as I don’t want to jinx this.
It’s one of those “get to know you” deals. I met her last Saturday night, amazingly drunk (hint, Aftershock and Smirnoff Ice chasers only lead to a dangerous state of mind, kids!), and am astounded that I left enough of an impression in my drunken state for her to ring me back.
So, Dopers, this is totally new to me. I am usually friends with the girl before I muster up the courage to ask them out. This time, she did the asking.
well… sh’e 20 years old, A little taller than me, thin, but not calista flockhart, funny. She is a little quiet.
The Goggles were on, but I doubt that this will be the case.
I really should be figuring this out for myself, but heh, just thought I’d spread the vibes!
Okay, these are based on conversations with Cubby and may or may not apply to all you other clueless people.
For starters, considering how your last date went you might want to invest in a cell phone jamming device.
Also, do not, and I repeat do not drink milk that has been sitting out all night in front of this girl. You’ve already turned me off Cubby-luuvv for the rest of my life, do you want to do the same to others? Definate turn-off.
You say she’s quiet? Well, please don’t take this the wrong way, but oftentimes people are quiet because they are not sure what to say and are afraid of embarrassing themselves. Hard to believe, I know. Anyhoo, while some people (me) appreciate the off-the-wall things you say, others might be a little, um, intimidated (not quite that, but I don’t know the word). What I mean is, she’s sitting there thinking “Wow, what an off-the-wall sort of guy, I’d better say something amusing now”. But she can’t because she’s afraid of not being amusing enough, leading to more uncomfortable silence and you saying goofier and goofier things. Viscious circle, that. Of course, I’m not saying don’t be yourself…just not sooo much yourself until she’s more comfortable.
Then again, you don’t have to be serious-serious the whole time…arghhh! You know what I mean. Don’t worry, kiddo, you’ll do fine. If not, this February, I’ll take you out for dating lessons! Woo Hoo!
Well ask her what restaurant she always wanted to go to but hasn’t been able to afford, then take her there. She probably won’t eat much anyway so it wont cost ya much.
At 20 they are still pretty easy to mold into what you want. They like it when you give them compliments. Women at 35+ are jaded & compliments often turn them off.
Oh, just talk about the SDMB all evening. I’m sure she’ll be enthralled…
But seriously folks:
Ignore handy’s advice.
If she has not chosen a place, and she wants you to choose, take her to a nice, but not super-expensive restaurant. If it’s really expensive, she might feel weird about it.
Try to pay for dinner. If she insists on paying or going dutch, let her. Don’t read anything into this.
Have a plan for something else to do after dinner if dinner goes well. If you are getting along well, and you want to keep hanging out, you want to have something in mind, so you can make a suggestion–dancing, ice skating, comedy club, whatever. (You don’t want to stand there going “ummm…so whaddaya wanna do now?”) She might have something in mind, too.
I generally don’t advocate trying to make the physical moves on someone on the first date…but if you do, don’t slip her the tongue right away. You probably already know that is a really bad idea to shove your tongue down someone’s throat at the first kiss. Well, a lot of guys don’t seem to know that. Anyway, take my word for it and start slow. You can speed up later if she is amenable to it.
Have fun and good luck and we expect a full report in the morning.
Lets just say that I sould have become a tightrope walker last night. I didn’t put a foot wrong.
I was on my way into meet her, and I got a call on my cell.I was her, the bus was late and she wouldn’t be in for a while. I suppose it was better than being dumped in advanced.
I was meeting her in a bar restaraunt, so we could get something to eat if we wanted to, or just get a couple of drinks.
We chose the latter option. She wasn’t that hungry, and I foolishly, had eaten before I went out, and dispite my huge apetite, was fuller than I expected.
The night went brilliantly. We talked for several hours about everything, I kept myself toned down, (as Tater has noted, I have a tendency to Speak without regard for consequences) and I had a very enjoyable evening.
At the end of the night, I walked her to a taxi rank, had a quick smooch and made sure she got a cab, (she lives the other side of the city to me.)
Terry Thomas, is that who played Ruffles the Gentleman thief? Ding dong!!
well, I’ll let you all know what happens on all our dates, but If I’m lucky some of the details would probably get me banned. Especially now that Coldy is a mod.
Anyhoo, while some people (me) appreciate the off-the-wall things you say, others might be a little, um, intimidated (not quite that, but I don’t know the word). What I mean is, she’s sitting there thinking “Wow, what an off-the-wall sort of guy, I’d better say something amusing now”. But she can’t because she’s afraid of not being amusing enough, leading to more uncomfortable silence and you saying goofier and goofier things. Viscious circle, that. Of course, I’m not saying don’t be yourself…just not sooo much yourself until she’s more comfortable.