Woo hoo! It's legal to masturbate (like a motherfuck) in your own house!


Like the man said: if you don’t want to see in my house, don’t look through my windows.

Hah, I just caught that in the globe and mail.

Good decision. I love it how the parents used binoculars and a tripod to look into his place “to protect their daughters”.

What a fucking piece of work these people are.

Hmmm. I’m curious to know just who needs to be protected from whom. Where the Heck do they the the galls to actively look in someone’s window and then officially complain about what they see? I mean, c’mon, that’s what we merkins do. Don’t you Canadians start stealing our show!


So how do you like your new retirement apartment, mother?

It’s no good. No good, I tell you! You can see the man next door walking around naked in his house!!

But mother! You can’t see his house at all through that window!

Oh no? Just you try standing on that table!

I’d be curious to see how a case like that would play out here in the US. Not that I’m willing to volunteer or anything.

When I worked for a city many years ago we had problems with an elderly (80+)gentleman messing with our equipment in the blue chip neighborhood street near his house and had to have the police talk to him.

Lo an behold we later read in the newspaper that his next-door neighbor lady complained about him cutting a limb off of a tree that was in her yard. According to the newspaper article about it, when the police asked him about it he reported that he did it because it blocked him from being able to see in her windows. I don’t know the judicial outcome but he was still on the loose later.

[cue Nerf Herder song Fight for your Right to Masturbate]

You used to do it in the park,
But the powers that be didn’t like it.
They called you names, like pervert, and criminal,
Now you have to use a blanket.

I imagine a case like this would go very badly in the US. I know there was a case in Florida where a couple was having sex in their own apartment, some children made an effort to peer in, and the couple was convicted. Ridiculous.

It’s getting to the point where I barely feel comfortable dropping trou in the bathroom, much less slathering myself with Wesson oil on the front lawn. What’s the world coming to?

Eh, there are reasons. When I was quite young, I saw a man in a state of undress, touching himself, in a full-length window facing the street I was walking on. This wasn’t even the first time the friend I was walking with had seen him thus.

So sometimes masturbating, even in the ‘privacy’ of your own home, isn’t so innocent.

The point was that he had no intention of offending, and wasn’t aware he was visible, as opposed to intentionally flashing people.

And he was only visible from the waist up (not that this was relevant to the SCC decision).

But, in Canuckistan, is it legal to have sex with a pumpkin?

And furthermore, how much harm can it do? I don’t think, as a child, I would have even known what the man was doing, let alone be traumatized by it.

Depends on who it is. Think about say, Rodney Dangerfield doing this.

Ewww. That would be gross, seeing as he’s dead and all.

Like it would have been better if he were alive? No respect I tell ya… No respect.

Well, I know what I’m doing tonight.

Canadians do seem to be more open-minded than here in the US. I agree. If neighbors do not want to see this guy ( or anyone else ) masturbating in his own home, don’t go out of the way to peer into his windows.
Just wondering if there are any openly gay or otherwise outdoor nude places anywhere in Canada-preferably the west side.

It seems to be all about circumstances. If this had been the third time, and it was a huge picture window facing a school playground in the middle of the day, I’m sure it would’ve turned out differently.

Being legal to masturbate is one thing, but masturbate like a motherfuck? Where in the decision did the judge stipulate that one could do it like a motherfuck? This is a serious issue that needs clearing up.

For all you public zombie masturbators out there, here’s a link to the SCC’s decision: http://www.canlii.org/en/ca/scc/doc/2005/2005scc2/2005scc2.html

In other words, a person’s living room is a private place, so he could not be convicted under 173(1)(a). He did not intend to offend, so he could not be convicted under 173(1)(b).