Coming home after work last night, I was walking to my front door when a movement caught my eye and I glanced up at the house next door. There I saw the upstairs tenant standing in the window, approximately 12 feet from me, full frontal, masturbating.
This guy and his girlfriend just moved in a few months ago, but this is the second time he has exposed himself to me at this same window. The first time I was walking across the street from my car at night and he appeared up there in all his glory. I thought it was an accident.
This time was no accident. I went inside and called our neighborhood block watch captain. He advised me to call the police right away and, bless his heart, came over immediately and stayed while I talked to the police. The two officers went next door and talked to the guy, then came back and talked to me again. They said the guy first denied it, then said that he and his girlfriend walked
around nude all the time and maybe he accidentally stepped in front of the window, (I suppose he was just accidentally masturbating also.) The police were not convinced and advised me to take out a warrant. The block watch captain agreed.
Of course, this may mean going to court, which I don’t want to do. OTOH, maybe I should follow through with this. He may have been doing this to other women for weeks and might continue. But he may have had the bejeezus scared out of him by the cops and will stop.
Obviously, I’m conflicted. Anybody have any experience to share?
Why are you peering into neighbors’ windows? Perv.
Okay, just kidding. But he’s in his own home. I think the cops telling him to knock it off is enough, unless you think he actually goes out at night flashing people.
I understand you not liking the possiblity of going to court but if this man didn’t convince the police and they advised you to take out a warrant, you should follow their advice.
Look at it this way - do you want this perv masturbating in front of the window if there are kids walking down the street? Do you want to keep seeing it? This sicko knows that you called the police; if you don’t follow up he will think he has intimidated you.
Swear out the warrant.
Now I’m going to be watching this thread to see who comes in to defend the perv. Wonder how long it will take?
Anything other than a firm counter by you (i.e. calling the cops) could be taken as condoning it. Call the cops first time, every time, and keep records of dates and times. If this ever goes to court you’ll want the documentation, and you’ll never have to answer the “why didn’t you call the police?” question.
I would consider writing him a letter or something advising that you can see him and you would prefer not to, so if he could please put up curtians that would be great. Make him sign for the letter so if need be you can prove you sent it to him later. If it still doesn’t stop I would take out that warrant. Or plant a tree or bush between you so you dont have to look at him when you pass by.
Anonymous people everywhere are always quick to say KEEP DETAILED DOCUMENTATION and USE THE FULL FORCE OF THE LAW. Unfortunately, those steps will take much effort on your part and undoubtedly cause much stress in the event it ever ends up in court. I was the star witness in an attempted armed robbery on myself and then several others and the DA kept me going for 3 years with private detectives and the prosecuting attorneys occasionally just finding me anywhere and everywhere to do their thing. The rest of the witnesses dropped away from the hassle until I was even more important than ever.
You may have a true sex offender case on your hands in which this man may be in for a world of hurt. That isn’t to defend him. It just means that you may find a long fight on your hands. You have to look out for yourself more than anything while keeping an eye on the community to the best of your judgement. If you decide to pursue this, it could cost you mentally, emotionally, and in hours and days you may never get back. You have to decide what is right for yourself.
This all seems like a bit of an over-reaction. My first question, is how sure are you that it was intentional? Your description of the event, you coming home from work and going to your door, doesn’t seem to leave much opportunity for him to have seen you coming, gotten naked and aroused and positioned in the location for viewing. It seems like a stretch to automatically leap to the conclusion that he targeted you in some aggressive manner.
What room is that window of his house? Is it his bedroom or bathroom or some other room where his nudity and masturbation might be natural? If it’s a random hallway or the kitchen it lends credence to the argument that it wasn’t accidental.
I think we all can agree that masturbation in the privacy of one’s home is perfectly acceptable, and unless you can be certain that this is intentional you should be very cautious considering the magnitude of the charges you are considering filing.
After all he was in his house, and it seems monumentally stupid of him to do this on purpose. Even sex predators have some capability of self-preservation. I mean, is it likely that this guy is so stupid that he’d repeatedly and intentionally do something so easy to incriminate?
Basically if you go through the process of pressing charges on this guy he’ll be labeled (and possibly officially registered) as a sex offender and it will probably destroy his life. In todays environment the courts, police and public automatically presume guilt and anything involving a woman accusing a man (see Duke lacrosse) so I would hope that everyone uses some real consideration before making those accusations.
So, if this guy was being predatory, and awe-inspiringly stupid about it,
then I’m all for getting the police involved. But if you think there’s any chance that this is an accident which could be rectified by a direct conversation you should probably go that avenue first.
If she were to lose the case, that could actually mean that he is innocent. Not sure why you’d see that as a victory.
I understand that we’re apt to trust the OP in this scenario, and I have no reason to believe we shouldn’t, but based on about 2 sentences of description of the event most people here are hoping the guy gets bagged and tagged.
Like I said, if the guy was going it in a predatory manner he can reap what he sows, but I think we should probably move cautiously here. He was in his own house after all, not in the park down the street.
Did you honestly read my post and think I was condoning that? Or were you just so eager to let your knee-jerk.
Like I said, if it was intentional feel free to get your pitchforks and torches. Just be damn sure it wasn’t just some poor guy jerking off after a shower and getting peeped at because he forgot that his curtains were open.
My knee is firmly in place, thank you very much. I just can’t see how there’s any possible situation in which someone can be clearly seen masturbating in front of an open window and it not be intentional on the part of the masturbator. Unless he’s, you know, BLIND and can’t see where he’s standing, but I feel the OP would have mentioned that.
As the what the OP should do, I’m of two minds. First, if I was in your position and wasn’t very upset over it, I’d probably just let it go as too much hassle for too little. On the other hand, are you likely to be the only person able to see him? When I was about 9 I was confronted with a similar situation, and I was fairly upset by it - more because it felt like deliberate victimization than because of anything else. If it’s possible children could walk by and see it, I’d probably pursue him.
This baffles me. I’ve seen probably 1/3 of my neighbors (crowded city neighborhood) in various states of undress. I’ve got a lot of glass in my apartment and spend a typical amount of time naked, I know I’ve damn well startled myself when I realized that my bits and pieces could potentially be seen. Thankfully I’ve never noticed anyone seeing me, but I wouldn’t be shocked if it had happened.
When it’s dark out and the room is well lit, windows basically turn into mirrors and you can’t see out of them. It’s not that big a stretch to forget that you’re basically in a fishbowl.
There’s certainly plenty of room between walking through the living room in your skivvies to jerking off in front of the bay window, but based on the OPs short description we don’t have much to go on.
Basically we’re taking for granted that it must have been intentional because the OP said it was. Sorry, I’m not going to advice her to get this guy arrested based on that.
I’m sure if the roles were reversed people would be giving a woman the benefit of the doubt.
Actually, I’m pretty sure it was directed at me. In the interest of brevity in the OP, I didn’t include that I had already made one trip inside my house with a load of groceries, leaving the trunk open, and had returned for a second load when I saw him. So he had time to prepare his little show.
But I agree that it was incredibly dumb of him to do this where he could be so easily traced. That is part of what makes it so creepy
Could you elaborate? Was he standing in front of his living room bay window or what? Looking outside at you? Sitting at his computer with the lights down in his bedroom? Seem like relevant details that will affect advice on how to proceed.
That does make a difference. If he had the curtains and blinds up, and was standing right in front of the window waving it at her, then that’s pretty definite. I once saw my neighbors having sex and they had no idea. It was nighttime, our houses were close to each other, and I was in the kitchen washing dishes. Their lights were on, and the blinds in the bedroom were “barely” (no pun intended) raised from the POV of someone in that room, but it was a perfect angle from where I was standing at the sink to see naked bodies from the shoulders down - due to the angle - having sex on the bed. That being said, I laughed my ass off and got my roommates to take a look at why I was laughing.