Ah yes, the ‘short arm’ of the law.
C’mon, someone needs to figure out which political party appointed this judge, so we can determine whether this is further evidence of Democratic moral decay, or Republican moral hypocrisy.
I mean, c’mon, almost a full page of posts and no partisanship? What’s the holdup?
On another note:
They say that justice is blind… well, now we know how it got that way.
I’m normally quite good at guessing which thread titles are literal, and which are metaphoric and which are jokes. I’m not faked out by either meaning of “pussy.”
But I was totally 180[sup]0[/sup] wrong on this one.
I was thinking SCOITUS.
Beat us, whip us, convict us, but please don’t SCOTUS.
Now, that’s funny! 
Why do we never see anything like this on ‘Law and Order’???
Ten bucks says next season this one, too, is “ripped from the headlines”.
Onion headline gag sort of comes true:
Jurisprudence Fetishist Gets Off On A Technicality
{Portion of an e-mail to Ernie Dreckmeister, Fox programming development…}
…So, look, Ernie, I’m just spitballing here, off the top of my head, but sort of a combination of Judge Judy and Crank Yankers and People’s Court, you see, where the complaining guy and the defending guy, the one who wins is the one who does the best job of stroking the Judge’s litigant. I asked a guy in the Law division, and he says its pretty much like that anyway, so…
OK, OK, um … let’s see, uh … Ah! no, wait … hmmm … I have it! Clarence Thomas!
Yes! Long Dong Silver! the pubic hair on the Coke can! The guy who put the “5” in “5 to 4”!
This is nothing more than a high-tech lynching of an uppity white penis!
Looking at 5 to 6, the judge clearly desired a longer ruling.
This thread is crying out for Arnold Winkelried’s Smut Shop Employees character. It would somehow complete the <ahem> circle.
Another legal maxim I’m going to struggle not to snigger at next time I hear it: Hard cases make bad law.
On the flip side of the issue, the Judge’s office issued a statement that the complaint was fabricated and merely the product of an ongoing dispute between the judge and the accuser.
Our local news is so missing the boat on this.
Channel 9: A hard look at hard news.
Channel 5: Handling the sticky issues.
Channel 4: Cumming up tonight at 10.
Fox25: A judge issues from the desk!
Yeah, Oklahoma politics is a wierd and wild thing. I’m so glad I’m not in TX or CA anymore.
BTW, In Oklahoma, juries hand down death sentence rulings. In the just completed Terry Nichols state murder trial (where he was found guilty on 160 counts of murder) a hung jury (HA!) couldn’t decide on the death sentence. (Should that word have an A or an E?) The judge was bound by law (?) to impose life in prison, since he couldn’t choose the death penalty himself. Not sure how it was in the past, though. (No, no cites. Just watching local news channels here in the OKC>)
I’m just glad Oklahoma isn’t the show me state.
Given the fact that he was seen by the court reporter, Oklahoma is.
In fact, I feel a song coming on …
Ooooooook-lahoma where the judge is whacking in plain view
Where a cock pump is
The thing to have
When you wish to give your judicial views!
He’d still be on the bench if he didn’t bang his pump on the sound block to adjourn the court.
I think his honor should have no trouble mounting an insanity defense. After all, what sane guy would let any sharp object, much less a razor, within three feet of his, uh, baliff.
For some reason this calls to mind a headline I saw in the Hutchinson (Kansas) News several years back, naming the opponents in a political contest:
Dick to Face Judge Long
Honest.
(Mebbe we shouldn’t pick on the guy. He is, after all, a Sooner.) :eek:
Better a pubic trial now before he comes up for reerection.
Unspeakable! Even if I had thought of it, I would never have posted such an appalling pun!
(That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it…)