swordless - Mute and dead.
bunk
zunk - Ze pazt perfect tenze of zink.
eventual
seventual - reaching the number after six, sooner or later/
cockroach
lockroach - to put one’s leftover marijuana in a secure spot.
hoarding
hosearding - keeping a good supply of rubber water-transport tubing.
dockside
dorkside - in proximately to a clueless drone.
ravishing
Ravising – a concert of vocal performances dedicated to Mr. Shankar
marsala
Branford Marsala: A drunken jazz saxophonist.
zeitgeist
zeitgone: What happens when you’ve had too much of the spirit de jour.
fantasy
fandozy - where an entertainer bores his or her fans to sleep.
succulent
suckerlent, person who lends money to a friend and will never see it again.
confimation
unfirmation - the process of going from firm to floppy.
understanding
overstanding - the art of reading too much into something totally innocent.
formula
fwormula - 1. n. A particularly unappetizing recipe. 2. A common mispronounciation in Oregon. See “formula”. 
excessive
exsaysive - where you used to say far too much
analysis
penilysis - what Freud once called his technique, accidentally
Minneapolitan
Mickeyapolitan - a male Minnesotan
orgasmic
organismic - relating to an organism
sparkle
sharkle - an uncle shark
foolish