derrierelict - groomed in the manner of a stray dog. (What?)
microwave
microwaive v. To let someone off a small debt.
asbestos
assbestos - fireproof material for your butt.
fireproof
flierproof – pertaining to a board or wall whose warning to “Post No Bills” is universally heeded
advertising
Madvertising - “What, me worry” about anything you’re selling.
mandrake
womandrake - a somewhat similar plant with a more bulbous root
somewhat
Sommewhat - almost like floating down the Seine.
underpants
** Danderpants ** - Too tigh underpants leading to a foul mood
** Drainage **
drynage - the amount of topsoil blown away during a drought.
skyscraper
skyscreper - someone who has the ability to toss pancakes very high.
crepe
creperhaps - the chance of eating savory or sweet fillings rolled up in very thin pancakes.
nunnery
** Nunnery sergeant ** - Rank in military covents
** Military **
Billitary - Who do you think pays for those neat night-vision goggles?
camphor
** Camford ** - Latest design in new car smell. Relieves small pains and itching while you’re driving too.
** Itching **
It Ching - what you might experience if you are allergic to Chinese food or Chinese philosophy.
doorknob
adoreknob – someone who REALLY likes women’s breasts
centerfold
centrefooled - what happens you aren’t the first person to read the mag.
poster
phoster - Australian for a great big sheet of paper or showcard with pictures and/or writing on it.
orange
orangel - a heavenly creature with a carotene problem.
carotene
Karoteen – an adolescent given to excessively syrupy poetry and prose
adolescent