A Christmas Story!
Am I the only one using the wee fee for the Internet?
What I’ve picked up through my late father-in-law: Goatmeal (oatmeal), beast loaf, Mickey Rooney salad, and chicken nodule soup. Also, Bat Room for bathroom (to the Bat Room, Robin!).
From my daughter, pajamas are now pajayjays (rhymes with vajayjay).
From my neighbor, who was taught by her mischievious father that the name of the vegetable is brocolilli. She learned the truth while sanctimoniously correcting her friends in eighth grade lunch.
Norepinephrine is of course Nora Epinephron, but that doesn’t come up very often.
Hirsute is hirsweet, from a sister who mispronounces it (reads it as “hirsuite”).
When we’re setting the dinner table, I will say ‘Someone get the k-nives and k-forks, please’.
God, I’m hilarious.
Lately, I find myself adding -ma- to everyday multisyllabic words several times a week. (I am no more of a Simpsons fan than the next guy, but I have played the saxomophone for most of my life.)
Nope. I also.
I pronounce cubicle “COO-bick-el”. I’ve worked mostly in office environments. With cubicles. You would think that someone would have corrected me by now (either that or they think I’m hopeless!).
Also, February is “Feh-BOO-ary”. That might not be quite so weird though.
No idea where I picked either of those up!
For the Internet is Whiffy. obliged is o blig it ted or o blight ed
Target is Tarzjhay at our house. Swayve and deboner, Horse doovers. JheparDAY!
My mother is dyslexic, so it became a family in-joke to pronounce certain words the way she would misspell them on the shopping list. “Would you like some mulk on your ceral?”
The word “important.” We say “importing” because that’s the way my stepfather (their grandad) pronounced it. Being hicks from the hills we dropped our g’s by the wayside but when he wanted to stress something he’d say “Listen, this is importing,” thereby giving it more weight. I once heard him call a certain mountain a “mounting” while talking to some bigwig or other. Sometimes we use it for anything that doesn’t really end in a g, but important is always importing.
at work
shitake = shit take mushrooms
Back in St Paul, I had a friend whose mother invariably pronounced Parmesan as Parmesian. (“I’m going to the store to pick up some Parmesian cheese.”) I never had the heart to correct her, and then I started doing it myself.
I too feel su-wayvey and de-boner when I shop at Tarjei.
I’ve always wanted to tell a date to wear her best outfit because I’m taking her to dinner at the White Castelle.
From the “Boys from Brazil” episode of Wonder Woman: “Diesen Weg, mein Fuehrer, bitte!” (“This way, my Leader, please!”), spoken with Lynda Carter’s nonexistent German accent.
From NCIS: “Kakaya raznitsa?” (“What’s the difference?”), spoken with Gibbs’s thoroughly awful Russian accent.
One other emFAHsis result is asperRAGGus, which I use to the distress of my wife.
There’s the Superb Owl, of course.
From my friend, I learned to say New Ham Sphere instead of New Hampshire.
From my wife, I learned to say Rooster’s instead of Hooter’s and Tim Howton’s instead of Tim Horton’s.
From my old friend David in Wisconsin:
Oh, lookit them hors-doovers, ain’t they sweet? A li’l piece a’ cheese an’ a li’l piece a’ meat!
To me, the lady who sang “Barcelona” will always be Monster-Rat Caballe.
And the heroine of Wacky Races (and perennial tease) is Penny-Lope Pitstop.
The Heroine of Harry Potter is Hermy-One whereas my favourite Greek muse is Percy-Phone
Boehner.
Another one I use with my daughter is ple-THOR-a, taken from a dumb radio commercial in Toronto.
While we’re at it, why do Brits pronounce the name of Cervantes’ hero KWIKS-oat? :dubious: 