My preference is to pronounce it New Hampster. I also like to sometimes stay at the Hampster Inn when I travel.
This thread makes me remember the episode of the IT Crowd where Jen reveals that she can’t pronounce the word pedestal.
Roy: <looking startled> “I’m sorry, what? Peddle-stool?”
Jen: “That’s right, peddlestool.”
Roy: “It’s pedestal, Jen. Ped-es-tel”.
Did he used to date Molly Ringworm?
And of course my brother and I giggled about having fish dicks (fish sticks) for dinner and our mom not realizing what was so funny.
You could always call it “George”, which is what William Herschel, who discovered it, wanted to do.
He was sucking up to his Royal Sponsor, King George III of England. Wiser heads prevailed, and it was eventually given a classical name, without regards to the sensibilities of our inner ten year olds a couple of centuries later.
If you don’t like “George”, you can call it “Hershel” instead, which is what Herschel’s contemporary scientists wanted to do.
But your inner ten year old will just convert that to “Herschell Highway,” and you’d be back where you started.
My husband couldn’t remember the exact name of a Tom Selleck TV show he likes, so he came up with “Blue Balls,” which is what both of us have called it ever since.
Floridia and Canadia. Everyone laughs. Not really. The kids used to correct me, now they just roll their eyes.
And of course a better sort of person is “swayve and a boutonnière”.
Does no one else refer to hors d’ourves as horse ovaries?
mmm
You must mean Horse Do-Overs…
At yer – oh, never mind.
I say “warsh” instead of “wash.” My relatives in South Dakota all say it and I liked the way it sounds. My wife hates it.
She would always refer to baseball player Placido Polanco as “Placebo Placenta.”
I’ve trained myself to pronounce “either” as “eye-thur” instead of “ee-thur”.
I pause a half-breath to make sure I pronounce “wash” as “wash” and not “warsh” as I used to.
I pronounce “furneaux” as “fur knee ox”, “fajitas” as “fa-jeeh-tas”, and “Mexia” as “meks-ee-ah”, “Alma” as “aaowl-mu”, “Doughnuts” as “dog nuts”, and “Hors d’ouvres” as “Whores d’Overs” to be silly.
I pronounce “February” as “Febuary”.
I pronounce “SteinMart” as “Stain Mart”.
I think “cat as trophy” but say catastrophe.
I’m hear “Asperger’s” pronounced “ASS-burgers” (not derogatorily, just incorrectly), but pronounce it myself as “ASS-per-gers”. I’m toying with using the English pronunciation of “ass-PER-jers”.
And then there’s the story of the European who came to America only to return when he read “Bazaar Pronounced Success”!
Special on crabs today.
Or would that be see-rabs?
I tend to make fun of place names. Like Homo Depot or Fart & Sminal. I think if I called them by their proper names, my husband wouldn’t have any idea what I meant.
**Anusol ** Hemmorrhoid cream. Pronounced “ANN you saul” in all the commercials. Who do they think they’re fooling? “ANUS hole” sez me.
Bloodbath and Beyond.
We generally go with “Crappy Tire.” Seems fitting based on my experiences trying to get cars serviced there. 
Do you mean Huge Assman? He’s that actor who plays Wolverine.
We use that too!
Store my wife shops at:
Bed, Bath, and Bullshit
Shows my wife watches:
**What Not To Watch **(What Not To Wear)
Say No To the Show (Say Yes To the Dress)
Project Run Away (Project Runway)
mmm
Per an old boss of mine, that’s the Hemlock Maneuver.
My list:
When I was 3ish, those things that got water off the car window were windmill shwipers. It became a family in-joke.
Where I live, Powhatan is a common geographic name. I say ‘PO-what-an’.
Those annoying puntable dogs are alternately ‘she-wa-was’ or ‘cha-hua-huas’.
Jalapeno is pronounced ‘jop-a-lano’.
Harris Teeter is Hairy Titty.
The little bites of food served with cocktails are ‘horse doovers’.
Target stores are pronounced ‘tar-zhee’.
There’s a posh French furniture shop near me called Roche Bobois, which I have to pronounce, in my best Cockney accent, as Rocky Bowboys.