Mrs. Cardigan is an attorney. Unfortunately, she has a number of friends and acquaintances who know this as well. I can’t count the number of times we’ve been at a restaurant, grocery store, movie, library, outdoor concert…wherever. And some long lost soul sidles up to her…“hey, how’s it going? Wow, haven’t seen you in a long long time. Say, I heard you went into law. I wonder if you might be able to answer a simple question? See, my second cousin’s uncle twice removed cashed a two party out of state paycheck that had been held in escrow as part of out of court settlement involving the IRS, Walt Disney Corporation, and…”
I remember at my own wedding I was working at the time as an optician and one of the people in the receiving line who knew this offered his congratulations, and then proceeded to show me that his lenses popped out of the frame and could I please pop them back in. Right now.:eek:
Last summer I was at a back yard cookout at a friend’s house who happens to drive a delivery truck. I overheard one of the other guests ask the host if he cold swing by and get his help moving something across town, you know, as a favor.:rolleyes: Maybe they had a very reciprocal relationship and exchanged favors like this all the time, but I got signals that wasn’t necessarily the case.
Some professions probably get subjected to this more than others (is there a doctor in the house?), but have you ever been hit up for free work-related advice or favors during your off hours?
No, I’m not in that kind of profession. How does Mrs. Cardigan handle it? I would never ask a lawyer or doctor for advice unless they were a member of my family or it was an emergency.
Depending on the nature of the relationship and the occasion, she’s frequently able to do the “here’s my card, call me during business hours” thing with casual acquaintances, but this can get more difficult when it comes to family or friends that may feel entitled to some sort of answer then and there and try to force the issue. Usually, these folks seem to be well meaning, but I get the impression some have boundary issues.
I work in a 9-1-1 center. I came home one morning after a night shift and my housemates reported to me that the engine had been stolen off their boat. Not sure what they thought I could do at that point besides calling it in to 9-1-1.
It is routine for members of the public to call the personal cell phones of some of their off duty police officer friends to report a matter. Then the officer turns around and calls it in to 9-1-1 to dispatch an on duty colleague. Unfortunately our officers are not fully trained on how to take an initial report to allow us to take full advantage of our resources. They often end up with insufficient information necessitating us calling their friend to get more details directly.
All the time. I do IT support and it’s friends, family, neighbours - all want free support. Usually on decades old rubbish. And they get very affronted when I say no!
I’ve been in IT for about 20 years. When I first got into IT, friends and family used to ask me all the time for help with their PCs, AOL, etc. etc. etc. I’d tell them “that’s not the kind of IT I do*”, but I think most people have an “it’s all the same” attitude towards IT.
*I’m an infrastructure engineer. I’m happy to explain what kind of IT I actually do in the unlikely event anyone is actually interested
Try being an artist. “I need a really nice drawing of my daughter/puppy/grandmother/car. I’d do it myself, but I can’t draw a straight line. And you’re so GOOD at it! Of course I can’t pay you…”
(I’m not an illustrator.)
Or: “Could you design a web site for me? I don’t know where to start, but you’re so GOOD at this sort of thing. And I know you have a flair for design [read: I heard you’re gay]. And I know you wouldn’t dream of charging me for it, I’m on such an awful tight budget.”
Lucky for me, I’m an engineer, and not the type who can get you free train tickets.
My brother is a CPA, and I really hate when I have to ask him tax questions, but I don’t ask him to do the work - I just ask him to point me in the right direction. Luckily, I’ve only had to do this a couple of times in the last 35 years or so.
One BIL is a computer guy - well, retired now. Again, on the rare occasions I get stuck, I’ll ask him questions along the line of “Is this something I can do myself or should I take it to a shop?” Since he hasn’t anything better to do, he’ll usually offer to fix things for me. But I’d never ask specifically or expect him to offer.
I used to work as a copyeditor for technical manuals. Man, that was beautiful. Whenever the subject came up and I started describing my work, they would immediately change the subject.
I’m kinda surprised; I’m an engineer, too, and it’s led to people asking me to tell them what is wrong with their car, diagnose electrical problems, do their plumbing, and evaluate whether their home is structurally sound. In addition to solving any computer problems, of course (“You’re an engineer; you use this stuff.”)
I have to explain that I’m a chemical engineer - if they want me to dissolve the problematic object, I can help. Alternatively, I offer to give them cancer.
I’m a Web Developer. Winston is right that people think IT is all the same.
I paid a ton of money to win an auction that allowed me to go watch my favorite MLB baseball team in a suite along with the team’s ex-manager. It was amazing, one of the best nights of my life. He was such a great guy!
He spent a little time with everyone. When he talked to me he found out I’m a Web developer and one thing led to another and he asked me to try to fix his laptop!! It was really a cool request because who doesn’t want to root around a famous person’s laptop? And, as it turns out, I have a hobbyist-level knowledge of computers and totally could have fixed it. Not only to I loathe cleaning and rebuilding people’s virus-ridden laptops, but also he is on the payroll of the MLB team and I am thinking that the laptop was provided by the team, so I told him the team has a whole bunch of IT professionals who should be in charge of fixing VIP laptops so he should probably talk to one of them, to get it done right.
I’m a Marine & Electrical Engineer who owns a yacht service company. A long time ago I stopped accepting invitations to go boating, because the invite was usually followed by, “You’ll have your tools with you just in case something goes wrong, won’t you”.
My dad was a sewage treatment plant operator. Not only did no relative ever ask him to help them with something sewage related, most of them tried not to get anywhere near the topic.
I’m a civil engineer, which for some reason confuses most people. Saying that I work for city Public Works leaves them mostly with the ‘city’. I’ve had a few neighbors ask who to call for various things, and I can usually figure it out eventually. It helps that the people who manage the trash pickup contract are just a few cubicles down from me. More than half of the questions have been trash pickup related.
I’m a vet tech. I learned the hard way not to wear my ER logo scrub top in public. When friends/family ask me stuff, I tell them something gross and they don’t ask again. When someone like the Uber driver asks me what I do, I learned the hard way not to tell them because even if they don’t ask advice, I will inevitably get told some awful story I don’t want to hear. So I tell them I’m an insurance adjuster.
I’ve learned to tell people what I do in a way that takes it as far away as possible from their daily lives. Because I used to get the dreaded “My computer’s been doing this funny thing…”
But if someone still collars me at a party and asks me if I can fix their laptop, I pull out the line “Sure, if it’s a recent Mac.”
(that’s when I always get the deer in the headlights look… partly because they’ve had too much to drink, but also because 99% of those freeloaders are lugging around a Windows doorstop… usually some ten pound Gateway Heifer running Vista with Bonus Premium Malware pre-installed).
I concur with Iggy…I work in 9-1-1 too. It’s crazy how many people will call me at home or an officer at home when it’s an actual emergency!
A friend of mine’s wife is a pediatrician. Over a weekend, I managed to come down with a pretty bad sinus infection. I had a very important meeting at work the next week and couldn’t miss it. So I called my doctor’s exchange and waited, called back and waited again. Several hours went by and called the exchange again. (I haven’t had to do this often, but the last time I did it it only took about 30 minutes to get a call from my doctor). The exchange said that they were having trouble contacting anyone. Desperate to get this sinus thing under control before my meeting, I headed to my friends house and talked to his wife, who was kind enough to check me out and write me a script. I hated doing it and apologized profusely. She said it was no big deal, but I still sent her flowers and a gift card for helping me. She told me later that I was the only person to ever give her more than a verbal thank you for doing something like that.
While I don’t mind helping out a friend in need and expect nothing in return, it is still nice to receive more than a verbal thank you sometimes, especially when its a service that you normally charge for, friend/relation or not.
I should also mention this was before Urgent Care’s were on every corner and the closest hospital was 30+ miles away and it was a chore to drag myself out of the house and drive the mile to their house, I never would have made it to the hospital.
