Additionally, it occurs to me, it might be possible to have a brief chat with DK, talk about how much you love the jokey casual atmosphere and how it makes this place so nice to work at etc. and if if he ever feels you’re going too far, it would probably be easier for him to make a small comment to you directly rather than CB and these small problems can be dealt with as smoothly as possible.
Good point and exactly my attitude, but now it feels too late to say that, if you get what I mean. Part of me knows the adult, professional thing to do is approach him and say “Hey, it was brought to my attention how I offended you the other day, blah blah blah . . .” but then the fact that itwas brought to my attention via his third- rate, dickless drama wipes all the rational thought from me. I’ve not looked at him, much less spoken to him because I truly fear what will come out of my mouth. And that’s not exageration, friends and neighbors, I really feel if I get started I will get myself fired. Childish, I admit, but that’s how pissed off I am.
Nonsense. Being in the working world means dealing with assholes at times. How you deal with them says an awful lot about you. Working with the person to defuse the problem or going through official channels to have it dealt with, or several other options will resolve the problem without resorting to childish pranks. Even if you can’t resolve it to your satisfaction, pranking someone degrades things for everyone in the workplace.
Your 1984 analogy so far from this issue that I don’t know what the point is.
Any of the pranks you descibed fall in the “being an ass” in my book. They would be OK within a group of friends away from the office. In the workplace, they would be a firing offense in any office I’ve worked in.
Let’s just say we agree to disagree on this one.
If you have a problem with somebody, either confront him or ignore the problem. Playing any of the pranks suggested by Evil Captor would be cowardly and juvenile.
Yes, there are all sorts of ways of dealing with assholes in the workplace. Of course, assholes are notoriously difficult to deal with, that’s one of their defining characteristics. And while how you deal with assholes can have a lot to say about who you are, it can also have a lot to say about who you are dealing with, and the kind of workplace you are in…
Hello, Pollyanna! While “working with the person” can sometimes solve the problem, one of the defining characteristics of assholes is that they are difficult to work with. Now, DW may not be a complete asshole and can be worked with, but some people are, and if you’ve spent any time in the workplace, you know this is true. And you’re right, what I suggested was pranks, becuase, as I said, this might be all that’s needed to get Wook feeling like she is back on par with DW. A more serious problem might require more serious actions, like trying to find some dirt on DW that would get him fired.
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Even if you can’t resolve it to your satisfaction, pranking someone degrades things for everyone in the workplace.
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No, what degrades things for everyone in the workplace is assholes treating people like shit and getting away with it. If you don’t understand that, you don’t understand human beings.
The point is that quote from 1984 described a future in which one class of people has a permanent and unremdiable position of power over others, and uses it relentlessly to suppress them, make them less human. If you think assholes who hold power in corporate America should be allowed to use that power to harm others without being subject to retribution of any kind, you’re obviously cool with the 1984 scenario.
Sure, I get it, you don’t think it’s OK to oppose the actions of assholes, except in ways that pretty much guarantee that the assholes will win.
No, let’s not. It’s not, in my mind, a matter of preferences or opinions. I know you don’t want to talk about it because it’s psychologically a lot more comfortable for you to sweep this kinda stuff under the rug, but I’m completely comfortable with it.
Your assumption implies that there’s a level playing field in place in the workplace. Actually, as DW outranks Wook, all the advantages are with him. As a general rule, when a conflict arises between a supervisor and and employee, the supervisor’s boss will automatically support the supervisor against the employee unless there’s some overwhelming other factor out there.
So, you’re saying that unless Wook sets herself up to be shit-canned, demoted or otherwise beaten up on, she’s a coward. My opinion is, she’s smart. There’s no such thing as a fair fight when the playing field is so uneven.
No offense, but I think you’re about the last person anyone needs to take advice from on how to behave in corporate America. You want to go pick a fight with your supervisor, you will LOSE every time. At best you will get a reputation as a very amusing pain in the ass who no one will want to work with and who will never advance and at worst you’ll get fired.
WOOKINPANUB, I don’t know what you said or who is “right” but allow me to give you some advice. I also work in a “wild and crazy, fairly fun place to work”. I also have no tolerance for people’s bullshit when we’re trying to get a job done. When people are trying to get a job done, whether you think it’s important or not, they don’t want to hear funny comments, clever backtalk or smartass remarks. Save the wild and crazy shit until after work, lunchtime or while you’re with your peers.
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No offense, but I think you’re about the last person anyone needs to take advice from on how to behave in corporate America.
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No offense, tu quoque boy, but your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
You’re absolutely right. If you pick a fight with your supervisor you will LOSE every time. That’s why it’s important to work anonymously. Thanks for reinforcing me on that point.
Look guys, I feel like you’re misrepresenting me. I agree that picking fights with co-workers is a bad thing and should be avoided where possible. As I’ve already said, if someone fucks with you and it’s something minor enough to ignore and go on, you should do that. If you have a manager or supervisor who will give you a fair hearing, you should do that. But you’re a bunch of Pollyannas if you think there are no situations in the workplace where management overlooks or supports or is blithely ignorant of managers and supervisors who fuck with their employees. To be frank, managerial and supervisory jobs are very attractive to assholes because the mores in corporate America – mores which most of you clearly subscribe to – allow managerial and supervisory personnel to fuck with their subordinates with impunity. It’s kinda like the teaching, the Boy Scouts and Catholic preisthood for pedophiles – the job has all kinds of rewards for some people that it does not have for others, which means that the pedos/assholes work very hard to succeed in such jobs and are VERY good at covering their tracks.
My feeling is that until we recognize that these conditions exist and set up mechanisms to deal with them, we’ll continue to have problems. And until that happens, people who aren’t supervisors will have to use whatever means are at hand to protect themselves. I think that’s fair. What surprises me is that there are so many people who don’t.
Exactly. Most of the places where I’ve worked, the vast majority of people are relatively rational, but there is the occasional power tripper who thinks they are more important than they actually are. The best solution is to carry a Palm like device that has a button on it you can press to record conversations. Never let anyone know you are doing it, thought. It would be the kiss of death for you, but if it ever comes to the point where you are being let go because of some assholes story vs. your own, it is a handy backup. You’ll still probably get fired, but you’ll most likely walk away with a good settlement. And money is what it is all about anyway.
And another thing while I think of it. Too many people forget that you are at work to work. Work isn’t a social club. It isn’t a place to party. It is a place you go because you have to have money to pay the bills and the rent. The more professional you keep your relationships the less likely this stuff will happen. You will gain a reputation for being professional (or a stiff depending on how you play it) and when your boss is told stuff by dickheads who are threatened by your ability, assuming your boss is rational, you have little to worry about.
Nope, I’m going to stick with “Let’s agree to disagree.”
Point taken. In my case, his “tolerance” couldn’t be of less concern to me, as I don’t report to him and it’s not my job to help him get shit done. I could have gone to the person whose job it is and said “DW needs your help” but instead I allowed him to steamroll over me. Color me educated.
Thanks for your and everyone elses comments. As of today, everything is status quo, except I speak to DW only if necessary, and that’s usually just a reply to his “good morning”. I am paying real close attention to all his exchanges with my co-workers though. Ya know, just in case. :dubious: