In these tough economic times, you’ve got to be a go-getter in any small business.
Geez, when women beat down my door for sex, they usually don’t ask for money.
Sex sells. Or else.
New Orleans, Louisiana, 4AM. A young Ogre peers blearily around the intersection in the French Quarter. He and his friends have been drinking like fish all night, and young Ogre is hungry.
A Lucky Dog cart appears!
Halfway to the Lucky Dog cart, Ogre is suddenly confronted by a 300 pound (at least) prostitute, who steps in close and grips Ogre’s testicles in one massively strong, meaty hand.
“Hey, honey, where you goin’?”
“Um, errrr, ahhhh, I’m going to get a hot dog.”
“Why don’t you forget about that hot dog and come with me?”
“…”
“…?..”
Drunken Ogre is feeling very awkward and vulnerable. Friends are rolling on the ground in mirth.
“I, ah…only have four dollars.”
“I guess you better take yo ass on and get that hot dog.”
Testicles are released.
Exeunt
“…near Cox Road.” snerk
Did ‘Lost’ get canceled? I’d have expected the guy to hold on to at least a few dollars.
Thank you.
I thought I was the only 12 year old in the room.
Jorge Garcia. I LOVE Google. Input ‘Fat frizzy haired guy from Lost’ and a trail of bread crumbs appears.
I know I’m showing my naivety here, but who would PAY for sex with that woman?
I’d want a full body shower after shaking her hand…
The closest I came (heh) to an experience like this was when a strung-out looking prostitute came up to me and grabbed my dick (through my pants) one night as I was walking home. I respectfully declined her offer.
Reminds me of the Letterman joke during an earlier economic downturn:
Hookers are offering a special deal – free installation.
I am given to understand that when one is drunk and/or horny enough, looks don’t matter nearly as much as willingness and availability, and possibly talent in certain activities.
I think that any man who touches that woman would be wise to wear a full-body condom.
I’m picturing two lines on a graph, basically crossing like an X. The rising line represents the increasing attractiveness of the opposite sex under the influence of alcohol. The other line represents one’s ability to perform under the influence of alcohol.
I’m pretty damn sure she would be to the right of the lines’ intersection for most of us. Especially considering the demands for money. 
Yeah…
No.
Alcohol can only do so much.
Godawmighty ugly! Lord have mercy! She walked past a blind man, he gouged his ears out!