The Next Best Thing with Madonna. I knew it was going to be bad but I was out with my friends and they dragged me to this dreck. It wasn’t only bad, it was insulting, stupid, ugly, and made me feel sick. It started out as a bad romantic comedy about a woman impregnated by her gay best friends. It then disintegrated into an even worse courtroom drama. I couldn’t believe that this thing got made. The worst part is, my friends liked it. I couldn’t speak to them for a couple of weeks.
Can’t believe nobody has mentioned Husbands a 1970 totally self-absorbed piece of dreck wasting the talents of Peter Falk, John Cassavetes & Ben Gazzara. Actually, most of the blame should be laid at Cassavetes’ feet. He “wrote” and directed this stinker.
The IMDB plot summary: “A common friend’s sudden death brings three men, married with children, to reconsider their lives and ultimately leave together. But mindless enthusiasm for regained freedom will be short-lived.”
ANY kind of enthusiasm regarding this alleged movie will be short-lived. IIRC, at the time much was made out of the fact that most of the dialog was ad-libbed. I HATE having watched what should have been some third-rate acting school’s improv class.
Also I Am Curious (Yellow) a hopeless Swedish mishmash about a young girl Exploring Life and a parallel plot about the company making the film. Totally ghastly and only worth sitting through to see full frontal nudity (male and female) which was absolutely a novelty in 1969 in the US outside of stag movie houses. Oh, yeah, and there were also some self-consciouly anticapitalist politics involved.
The title derives from the colors of the Swedish flag. A companion film “I am Curious (Blue)” released the following year reportedly did not achieve the high artistic standards of the first.
[CORRECTION]Her gay best friend. No multiple partners involved, have to give the producers some credit. [/CORRECTION]
Austin Powers 2: The Spy Who Shagged Me. I hated that movie so much.
I just saw Jeepers Creepers. It was so bad that I can’t even talk about it yet. The shock hasn’t worn off yet. I have found scarier things in my pockets. It is actually the first movie I have seen that I would have actually enjoyed more if the lead characters had dies within the first 5 minutes. I feel so stupid for having gone to see it.
Starship Troopers actually did have a point. The writer of the book spent time in WW2 and was trying to show how awful war was (also the reason for it being that gory).
Worst movie I’ve ever seen: The Omega Code. Barely had a plot and was the worst acting/Christian propaganda you’ll ever see.
I’d rather wirebrush a wildcats balls in a phonebooth then watch **Joe Dirt
[/quote]
again.
Zette
A festering pile of puke called Batman 4. :mad:
[sub]Dark Knight my arse[/sub]
As I was reading this whole thread, I kept hoping someone would miss a movie and I could add to the discussion. But, I think we pretty well got it covered.
Here’s my take:
REALLY BAD:
Hudson Hawk- First movie I ever walked out of. Awful!
Cool World
Blair Witch- Sold out three days in advance. Nothing good about this film.
Spawn- Leguizamo was even terrible.
Godzilla- Dreaded seeing it, thought a friend was enjoying it, so I told him I was going to wait in the lobby. He looked at me and said, “yeah, I wanted to leave too!”
Batman and Robin- Au-nold killed any chances at a decent movie. Not that there were many chances.
Drowning Mona- My call on a Couples night out. I was shunned.
Star Trek 9- Show tunes? No mas!
Boys and Girls- It began my lifetime Ban on Freddie Prinz Part Duex. I don’t care if he has a bit cameo in the next Indy film.
I JUST THOUGHT OF ONE NO ONE MENTIONED!!!
Blown Away with Jeff Daniels and Tommy Lee Jones!!!
PEEE-Yoooooo!
LESSER OF TWO EVILS
I bought a ticket for Phantoms and at the last minute decided to theater hop into Deep Rising. At least I had noted thespian Treat Williams to save the film.
BUM RAPS (Movies people listed that I like)
Waterworld- went in with ZERO expectations and thought it was ok for a matinee
Pearl Harbor- Same as WW (Snora, Snora, Snora). Had some decent parts, didn’t seem to drag on like most three+ hours.
Starship Troopers- Disappointed at the movies, but when my pals got really liquored up and watched it on cable, we had a blast.
5th Element- Weird but ok. Love saves all was cheesy at the end.
Independence Day- I was hammered when I saw it, so my view is slanted. Plus, I was at the Unoversity of Houston at the time and they blew it up (always a plus).
Meet Joe Black- I liked the flick. I don’t know why I am so off on this one. I left the theater predicting HUGE box-office. I was SO off.
Star Trek V- I am the only Sci-Fi fan who likes this movie.
Armed and Dangerous- I loved this movie. Best line comes from the academy lecture. The crazy black guy raises his hand and asks “If somebody’s lyin’, and I KNOW they lyin’, can I shoot 'em?”
King Ralph- Goodman at his finest!
Mars Attacks!- Again, the sauce…
I didn’t walk out of this movie only because it was the first R-rated movie I ever saw.
On Deadly Ground.
Blech!
I don’t know that this is the worst movie I’ve ever paid for, but I really didn’t like Planet of the Apes. Talk about effects taking over the quest for a story.
HEY TIM BURTON! The original movie succeeded even with the rubber masks because of a decent story. Look into it.
[SPOILER]
Can anyone tell me how the ending of that was supposed to make sense? I could guess the “twist” from about half a mile off, and I’ve thought about it a few times since, and it doesn’t make any sense at all as far as I can see.
What would make the earth he returns to be run by apes? I can’t see anything in the plot that would have caused that, or how this ending gives insight to what has happened before, as the ending of the original did.
Battlefield Earth - Don’t know if it counts though cause me and some friends rented it knowing it would be absolutely horrible.
Mortal Kombat II - Anyone else see this littel gem of crapulence? It was so bad that I think one of the main bad guys quit halfway through the filming. I paid $2.50 to see it and felt that i had gotten ripped off. I still have nightmares about this one.
Mission to Mars - Gary Sinese(sp?), Tim Robbins, what were you thinking? I know Tim Robbins has a history of doing bad movies, but come on.
Ghosts of Mars - As soon as I saw the words ‘John Carpenter’s’ in the main title I knew I was in trouble.
Of course he was in quite a few gems, including #2 all time on the old watsonwil top 10.
My litmus test of a wretched movie is if I pay to see it and fall asleep in the theatre. My brain must go into shutdown mode to elude the Deep Hurting.
“Winners” are:
Hudson Hawk
Godzilla (1998)
Lost in Space (1999?)
Runner-up goes to Blade (which I don’t think anyone has mentioned). I wish I could’ve fallen asleep on that one.
I thought Fifth Element was okay. Not great, not wretched, just okay.
Want to preface this by pointing out two things 1) I used to review films and therefore have had more than my share of free passes (including some royal stinkers) and 2) I have a greater ability than mere mortals to tolerate trash.
That having been said, I will observe that the worst movie I ever paid to see is, without a doubt, Flatliners. In fact, I treated a friend to dinner and a movie that night, and as we walked out of the theatre I asked her “Well, what did you think?”, to which she responded “I’m just glad you were the one who had to pay for it.”
Worst movie I have ever seen, and paid to see (in a university late-night film-festival context): Pink Flamingos. No contest. I left in the middle feeling physically ill.
About 10 years ago, a girlfriend and I went to see “Wild Orchid”, the alleged sequel to “9 1/2 Weeks”, on the night it opened. About 15 minutes into it, people could be heard laughing at some of the more ridiculous and racist crap. Within another 5 minutes the floodgates had opened, and everybody was yelling at the screen and laughing at the unintentional hilarity. In the end, though, it wasn’t enough to sustain interest in this nonsense.
Other irredeemable claptrap I’ve paid to see includes “Bonfire of the Vanities”, “Roadhouse”, and “Rumble in the Bronx”.
I’ve seen this thread for a while now, but felt I didn’t really hate Brazil that much to open it up and type it in. Then last weekend I saw The Musketeer, and that gave me a good reason to open this thread. The ladder scene was utterly absurd.
Just remembered two more honorable mentions on RufusB’s List O’ Crap.
The Avengers - Did this movie make any sense to anyone?
From Dusk Till Dawn - The only thing interesting in this thing was Clooney’s fake tatoo and Salma Hayek’s body.
I have to agree that Flatliners was pretty bad (medical students trying to get a JumpStart on Purgatory), but I think that Jacob’s Ladder was worse. Easily more pretentious.