National Lampoon’s Class Reunion. I had a couple hours to kill so went to see it by myself in the late (around 5:30) afternoon. My first clue that it was a lousy movie was when the lights dimmed and a quick look around the theatre told me I was the ONLY person there.
I second this one, too. Paid 50 cents to see it, and got my money back. But I sat through it all.
There are two words after which any discussion of the worst movies ever must surely pause, if not end outright. Those words are:
King Ralph.
That movie sucked worse than the all-consuming void of deepest empty space.
[hijack]
I love Mr. Baseball. It is a very good picture of what life is like for gaijin baseball players in Japan, the characters are diverse and not stereotyped, it’s very funny at some points, and the main character actually learns and changes. It’s a good movie, and dammit, I will not hear its name mentioned in the company of Independence Day, Battlefield Earth, Wing Commander and Dungeons & Dragons.
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ObBad Movie: So, anybody seen Space Rage? A crime against Richard Farnsworth, that was.
…The Avengers.
He is, quite probably, one of the most accomplished songwriters of the latter half of the 20th century. His music helped to shape a generation, and his talents are beyond compare.
But never, ever, let Paul MacCartney write and direct a film.
Give My Regards To Broad Street wasn’t even worth the soundtrack.
I can’t think of the name of the movie but it was released in the last year or more, begins with ‘U’ and it was about a comic book hero and villian thing. Can anyone remember the name of it?? All I remember was that it was really bad and I haven’t meet one person who has liked it.
Ohh just remembered it was Unbreakable. Such a bad movie
You’re not referring to The Ref, are you? I thought this was a really funny movie. I enjoyed it.
IMHO:
Hudson Hawk sucked as it couldn’t decide whether it was a serious action film or a comedy…but
the worst movie I have ever paid to see is
The English Patient
Tedious, pretentious drivel that refused to end. Surely this movie is being used as an instrument of torture throughout the world instead of punishment by swift execution.
Who were those characters? Who cares? I kept hoping that they would touch off one of the elaborate booby-traps but no, the audience neeeded more torment.
Did it have a plot? I can’t remember as with each boring inch of film my mind slowly atrophied. And such cinematogrophy, the endless sea of the desert, the endless emptiness, the empty endlessness, - watching paint dry would have been more entertaining.
Yes it was a successful chick flick, except that the “hero” gets the girl killed and himself maimed but what was I expecting… a good flick? …the Spanish Inquisition?
dos centavos
(a) I can’t believe some of the movies people have hated…
Hudson Hawk, There’s Something about Mary and The Fifth Element are all excellent movies, imho. And Independence Day is good clean fun (unlike that pile of filth, Armageddon).
(b) Some quite bad movies that no one has mentioned, or that bear repeating:
-Mortal Kombat Annihilation
-The Quest (starring Jean Claude Van Damme… vaguely reminiscent of the recent Atlantis movie, but live action, one thousand times worse, and with some bad martial arts and no atlantis)
-The Governess
© But the absolute worst movie I have ever seen, accompanying young cousins, is without a doubt:
Thomas and the Magic Railroad
Hands down–Harold and Maude.
Most of my friends suggested that since I felt that way, I had obviously missed the entire point of the film and should go see it again.
Some of them are still my friends, but sometimes I wonder why.
Tell me about it. Had to take my son (who’d just turned three at the time) to see it in the theater. What the hell was Britt Alcroft thinking? If they’re like my son, most kids that age would happily sit through an hour and a half of Thomas and Percy and Gordon and Toby and the rest of the Sodor Railway rolling stock just zipping up and down the track; you don’t really need a plot. But no, she decides that there has to be dramatic tension, conflict, a struggle between good and evil – put my three-year-old in a dark movie theater for only the second time in his life, where he’s expecting insipid little Thomas stories like he’s seen on TV, and you throw at him a menacing diesel engine with a nasty claw who’s trying to off Thomas and his pals, along with Mr Conductor, Peter Fonda, and anyone else who gets in his way?
Oh yeah – that reminded you: you need to include some Shining Time Station stuff for the kids who’ve only seen Thomas on there. Hmm, nothing much for the girls – hey, how about you throw in a girl character, Lily, who helps save Thomas and his friends by finding the source of the gold dust. What gold dust? Oh, the magic gold dust that’s the only way to get from the Island of Sodor to Shining Time and Muffle Mountain – well, the only way except for the Magic Railroad, but it doesn’t work anymore because the magic engine called Lady disappeared and now there’s no way to make more gold dust, so Mr. Conductor and his cousin Junior will get stuck on Sodor and get weaker and weaker until there’s no more magic and Didi Conn is wandering around a post-apocalyptic Shining Time Station, watching the sign that the kid on the horse – you know, Lily’s friend – just finished repainting at the beginning of the movie blow back and forth, while Peter Fonda (Lily’s grandfather) mourns his dead wife and tries to figure out how to make Lady the magic engine run again, since he’s the one who made some unnamed but apparently horrible mistake that caused her to break down in the first place, 40 or 50 years before. Lessee, what’re we missing – oh yeah, we need a dog somewhere: send a Benji look-alike to do a Lassie number and convince the girl to get on the wrong train at the beginning of the movie, then show up and look smug a couple more times in the next 80 minutes. Ending? Oh yeah – need one of those I guess. Hmm. Well, obviously this nasty diesel has to bite the dust, but just as obviously it can’t be Thomas or any of his friends that off him – can’t have the little buggers in the seats thinking Thomas killed anyone (or was anything more than “slightly cheeky” to anyone). The hell with it – we’ll just have a viaduct conveniently disintegrate under the diesel as he’s chasing Thomas and the magic engine, Lady, and Peter Fonda (who’s driving Lady).
(I want it noted that that’s the first time I’ve even veered close to a drug or sex reference, despite the constant temptation of a subject that involves Peter Fonda and magic gold dust).
I’m aware that description makes no sense. Trust me, it makes a lot more sense than the film it describes. Nevertheless, my son has watched it on video dozens of times over the last year or so, so I’ve had plenty of opportunity to have my opinion changed, or to find that it makes more sense on subsequent viewings. It doesn’t.
So let me get this straight. We’ve seen 152 posts and nobody has mentioned the 1999 adaption of Wild Wild West with Will Smith and Kevin Kline. What’s up with that?
There are bad movies that are still watchable, and then there are movies that are just painfully bad. Take the aforementioned Starship Troopers. If you’re one of those snobs who actually want a plot, oringinal FX, good dialogue, or any of that other good movie stuff, you should probably avoid it. However, if you like watch good looking people fight gigantic bugs with machine guns, it’s almost worth watching. WWW, on the other hand, could not possibly appeal to anybody. The action sequences last only a few seconds, and in between them are long stretches of pathetic attempts at humor that fall completly flat. Even if you snuck into this movie, it would still be a rip off.
I’ll second Bless the Child and I’ll third Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. I enjoyed the first Mortal Kombat and I can still quote it, but all I remember from the second one is they switched actors and I wanted to walk out after 5 minutes.
Eh, I think it was the scene in the beginning with Madeline Kahn stuck in the elevator, IIRC. Austin Powers was OK (not one of my favorites) I do like my dick jokes, but I also like verbal humor – for instance certain British comedies, Woody Allen, etc. Perhaps the movie just started out so bad that I was scarred. Maybe we were grouchy before we went in and the first half hour or so of the movie that we actually saw did nothing to cheer me up.
[Rant On!]
I do remember that the movie to which we went after walking out was Dumb and Dumber which is definitely in the top 10 worst movies I have ever seen in the theater (with classics like Speed 2, Lost in Space, Deep Impact and so forth). Call me crazy, but I have never enjoyed Jim Carrey in anything from Living Color onwards. I know, you all love Jim Carrey and how dare you, you must be the antichrist for not liking him. I will say that one of my funniest moments at the movies did come in Jim Carrey’s movie The Mask. It is a tender, touching scene where he is in jail and confessing his love for Cameron Diaz. Well, the dude about 2 rows in front of me really let a loud long one rip. At first nobody did anything except the guy, who chuckled for a while. Slowly, over the course of the scene, the laughter spread throughout the whole movie theater until everyone was laughing hysterically. That was far funnier than Carrey prancing around like an epileptic Lipizaner screaming “SMOKIN!”
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Never seen North but I just read Ebert’s review. I can’t decide whether to actually believe him or to run out and rent this train wreck.
It is definitely one of the best movie reviews I have ever read. Notice the use of the word “hated” 10 times in 6 sentences near the bottom of the story.
http://www.suntimes.com/ebert/ebert_reviews/1994/07/931635.html
I think the problem with this movie is it’s title. If they had called it “Space Bug Killer” I would have enjoyed the satire. But it wasn’t “Space Bug Killer,” it was “Starship Troopers,” my favorite Heinlein novel. They crushed my favorite novel and I despise them for it. I’ve heard the director didn’t even read the book.
Raising Cain.
Awful, awful, awful movie. Had John Lithgow and MPD going for it, you’d think it would be good. But no. After they established that the core Lithgow personality was a sympathetic character, they proceeded to have his wife sleep with the first guy she met – out of the blue. Then, after this, you all of a sudden were supposed to switch your loyalties to the shrew wife and the lunkhead boyfriend and forget about all your sympathies for Lithgow. Oh, and they telegraphed the hell out of the “shocker” ending.
–Cliffy
Inframan as the second film at the drive in.
None of which was worth a nickel.
it’s rare for me to really really hate a movie (i actually liked most of the flicks mentioned in this thread!), but there are a few bad movies worth mentioning, like Virus with jamie lee curtis, Monkey Bone, Jurassic park 3 (jesus, why did i pay for that when i knew it was gonna suck??), and Lost Souls, that horrible end-of-the-world flick w/ winonna ryder. LS is actually the second worst movie i’ve ever seen, surpassed only by…
Cabin Boy!
how is it that no one has mentioned this piece of crap?? god, it was horrible… no redeeming qualities whatsoever